rip 😔

"How poor were you?" "My family's car had rack OR pinion steering."

I absolutely am.

"Hello. You have a collect call from..." "Mom, come pick us up and maybe on the way home from the pool we get ice cream love you bye." "Would you like to accept charg..."<click>

"What would you say is a ... good number ... of whammies, Tombathy?"

“Verify your age”

RULE OF THREES! RULE OF THREES! RULE OF THREES!

i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious

I hope they bury him in a chocolate coffin so he can be the Graham-cracker center of a Keebler Deluxe. Restless eternal in fires infernal and whatnot.

Despite being made up of a bear, a number of dogs, an unhinged drummer beast, and through Sesame Street, two aliens and an ACTUAL vampire, Kermit is still the only muppet to have tasted human blood. "The lovers, the dreamers....what music they make. And...me."

Convicted rapist Conor McGregor returned to UFC following a 5-year absence for his comeback fight against Max https://www.inbella.com/1648116/convicted-rapist-conor-mcgregor-returned-to-ufc-following-a-5-year-absence-for-his-comeback-fight-against-max-holloway-and-blew-his-knee-69-seconds-in/ …

It's 1am on a Monday morning. My 15 page final on Barbara Kingsolver's The Bean Trees is due in 8 hours. I have a 102 degree fever, have read a page and a half of the book, and just drank a bunch of Jolt Cola. Have my A+ ready.

Finally realized why Mr. Beast's smile is so familiar. He smiles like the guy on the cover of the Camp Jellyjam Goosebumps book

Float 1p Tequila over 1p Hazelnut liqueur. Light on fire, count down from 10, godspeed. The Frangelico Houston.

Me and my Bluesky mutuals

Slate: "Wait, these soothing face-panthers were leopards all along?"

OK, but like... did the writer REALLY need to AI generate a 'no results found' image?! REALLY?!!!

So basically nobody did any type of vetting before jumping on the bandwagon?

So after 14 months(?) of work and a lot of frustration barely knowing what i was doing i think i made someting special (!) presenting: a Wine fork for Ableton Live 12 on Linux stable pixel perfect vst support 1st class gnome citizen device hotwire support low latency audio tell ur friends 🥹🥹

AI thumbnails are a plague. But this one is painful. Starting at the 'tiddy muscle' with nipple flexors, let's move to the...pelvbow? The glove full of abs? Arm femurs?

Thimbleweed Park scratched it a bit, but I'd LOVE to see this. And Lower Decks. And all the things as point and clicks. ALL THE THINGS.

This thread is worth a read. Once you are rich enough, people can't afford to tell you 'no' an your bad ideas become your babies.

Seems like a good time to bring back my Jeff Bezos thread (link in reply), essentially how an already bad dude was turned into an off brand batman villain The Billionaire Thumb by yes men:

this is like my Bezos story, basically, just a bunch of people never saying no to people with enough money, and the rich people lose touch first with reality and then with their minds

Lanky Captain Irving skipped dessert and lost 9 pounds.

Until they pivot to profit-as-a-product, some companies did make cool shit. Sadly, the end stage is always "no take, only throw," "line-go-up" derangement.

again it's our fault for not speaking up sooner. I know we were speaking up the whole time, but it's our fault still, because hmm hang on give me a sec I KNOW it's our fault, it always is, I'll figure out how exactly in a minute hmm because um we were kinda catty? hang on,

"You know, 'jamb' has a 'bee' in it," is a useful phrase if you're a pedant going door shopping or a concerned outdoor brunch enthusiast.

Did Joyce Carol Hall write this one?

hahahahahahahahaha whew hang on let me just say that phrase back keep the military out of politics hahahahahahaha damn man that made me laugh that's a good one

I can't sleep over tonight. I have to back up all my Jazz and LS120 disks to my Drobo.

This is about John Lasseter, not Hoggle.

Holy shit.

Gonzo from the Muppets + Klinger from M*A*S*H + a bat (or mynok) + a racist balloon =

Can we start a voluntary program where if you are a tech bro caught with CP, you can upload yourself to the cloud (sans body) to avoid prosecution? We can call it To Cache a Predator. And we all know nobody is paying that hosting bill, so...

Danke herr Busfahrer, Busfahrer, Busfahrer, Danke herr Busfahrer, Busfahrer mann. Er trinkt und er fuchten. Er brechen zie bussen. Danke herr Busfahrer, Busfahrer mann.

oh dear! Juno's gotta get her dog out of lock up! 😢 That's gotta be so stressful maybe we can help. venmo.com/u/junostump Paypal: juno(dot)stump(at)gmail

More clone stamps than a Death Star night club.

You can't judge a book by its cover. Unless it's Ready Player One or this.

Bro is trying to get around declaring smoked meats in customs.

Steve Todgers aka Cupped-in America aka The Girthed Avenger. No wonder he could lift the hammer. He's used to it.

🤣 oh my god, ok so when I was in college a slightly older woman took me to a mutual friend's house while they were away on vacation, and the plan was to watch Lord of the Rings, and like, we did, she hadn't seen it, and then I slept on the couch, but she said I could just sleep in bed with her, 1/2

I'm not a huge fan of tADC. And I'm definitely not a fan of IHNMaIMS beyond its value to contemporary lit. But I've experienced both and I have to say the inspiration is absolutely in ADC, but it's not a retelling at ALL. Let go of that one, superfans. More like sibling anthology at best.

🚨 HUGE ongoing surge of ICE arrests, with ICE directing 80% of all officers to go out into the field and round people up, aiming to hit 2,000 arrests a day; which would be more than during the Minneapolis surge. This may be why the nun in Texas got briefly picked up. www.nytimes.com/2026/07/01/u...