More like which ones WOULDN'T. Little Caesar is definitely a libertarian, Burger King is a sovereign citizen, more like Ronald McReagan, amirite? The Colonel is a 'states rights'er for SURE. Jack is corpo scum. And Bob's Big Boy has manosphere troll written all over him.

JFC

Players of backing rhythm strings, infielders at 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, shallows jig fishers, car speaker installers, people who believe in alkaloids, no like BELIEVE in them: Bassists.

"President....Sag...noosen...." Hey, I'll take a 1970s SNL reference with Chevy Chase inside. Just so long as it happens.

"Your super power is..." "I jizz holy water." "You...jizz..how is that even kind of useful?" "We live in a world of rhyming demons." "You got me there...and your name is?" "Blessticles." "Leave. Now."

Kool Mo Dee/Will Smith/The Escape Club/Jeffrey Combs/Bill Cody/Perth zookeepers handshake: Wild Wild West

Deranged and Confused. Alt right, alt right, alt right.

just some quick napkin math on this, $375 million is 0.18% of meta's reported 2025 revenue of $200.97 billion, or 0.62% of meta's reported 2025 profit of $60.46 billion. $375 million is the maximum penalty allowed by law. the system just like, fundamentally doesn't work lol

Behold, a remnant of the young Internet. Already an adult at this point, but still so full of youthful exuberance and charm. Now, old and broken, it erodes the last of its potential in a drafty room, scribbling out hate speech and generated porn for losers. www.youtube.com/watch?v=lI5Y...

FTFY

There's this show about a magical school you should watch. Abbot Elementary.

if you watch or support this you're a bad person btw. i'm not arguing with you about it either

might be worth posting this for non-legal advice

Cannot believe “man who has never run a profitable company shovels mountains of cash into a bonfire“ isn’t a viable business model, what’s the world coming to

HAHAHAHAHA

lol

Read more: www.americanprogress.org/article/by-t....

The U.S has already spent $29 billion on the Iran War. That money could fund the free lunches of every public school student for the entire year.

🤔 well. 🤷‍♂️ here we are

I wish a hearty 'get utterly fucked and move to deep space in a light jacket' to these pieces of trash.

Wait...which side of the Roman/Christian debate WANTED Christ crucified? St. Dim-sus over here.

My friend Victor: "QUIT SENDING ME YOUR ROTTEN FOOD!"

I made this as a joke and it feels like his campaign team just got there organically and without a hint of irony. JFC. Dude is just Reagan wearing the skin Charlie Sheen shed at his detox.

I would hope Gavin Newsom saying, "Yeah I am Patrick Bateman, from American Psycho, actually" would be the end of people stanning for this guy; but then I think about the people still having conniptions if you won't swear an oath of eternal support to a Blackwater Merc with a Nazi tatto

BREAKING: Minnesota officials sue the Trump administration, accusing it of withholding evidence related to three shootings by federal officers.

Absolutely no Indigenous person is surprised by this. Our activist Elders have been telling us this for ages - and always with hilarious stories of how inept some of these operations were. We laugh, but it's not really funny. They've never STOPPED spying on us. www.cbc.ca/news/indigen...

ICE in airports means comic book conventions are gonna end up whiter as people of color decide not to travel and I think the industry needs to grapple with that.

When you write fan fic, swapping out love interests so many times on Dawson's Creek that you eventually cycle in the lead from Saved by the Bell, that's the Ship of Tiffany Amber Theseus.

guy commissioning a bust of himself: how will you determine the shipping charges me: weigh a head of you

Sometimes your Bouba is a little Kiki. This is how we make peanut butter cups and vinaigrette.

Chort Jay Pee Tea am gonna make me all geniusing. I know chemistry now. Behold:

I saw a photo of Steve Zahn and thought "Wow, Josh Hutcheson has had a tough year."

Thought Exercise If I told you that he is lowkey referencing a program that uses data to target women with harassment designed to drain their energy, fill them with fear, and drive them insane — could you entertain that possibility? Or would you say I am coo coo bananas?

Gird up, Sleepy Chuck. If you give a fuck, 'Cuz I'm a doomsday believer and, This timeline sucks. Oh wait...different Davey Jones.

I'd love to retire this.

"Trump approval rating hits low of 34%" Chuck Schumer, dialing in for the 19th time like the poll is American Idol Season 1, knowing that floating the bloated dung heap through midterms is the only chance he has of keeping his job: "Oh yeah, he's great!"

Child abuse is a central plank in the conservative platform, because physical mastery of the weak is how they establish dominance, their only value. It's not just something a lot of conservatives do, it is part of being a conservative.

"Lasers. 8 o'clock. Day 1."

Miss Teschmacher was one of those roles where what could have been a small, background part turned into something incredible. She's also the sole reason I know of Hackensack NJ.

The rest of the world is literally lapping us scientifically and we're trying to rework our space program into throwing pieces of bark at each other. That reference is for @tylerfromtheinternet.com and literally no one else. Not even James Gunn.

This is, no joke, a fantastic port and makes playing BM64 (hehe...poop) both way more accessible and WAY better than you could ever hope, even on pumped up FPGA cores or emulation. I never played until this and it's truly a fun, magical little game!

Finally the here N64 recomps and PC ports needs! Bomberman 64 has a new recomp from Revo and its 10/10 good...because Bomberman! Come check it out youtu.be/CjCRSJRptnQ #gaming #gamingnews #N64 #Nintendo #retrogaming #gaming_news

Pro Tip: Instead of eating your fish salad on the plane, eat it next to the Gustaperatti staking out the Southwest terminal. Crop dust 'em fully on the way out. Take your shoes and socks off. Sit next to them with your screaming child. Get it ALL out before the flight in a constructive way.

An incredible country run by extremely normal people

reposted with alt text; come on, people

Every one of them looks like they're bothered the others aren't looking at them