They found the boss baby in the Epstein files

I interviewed over half a dozen ICE and Border Patrol agents about Alex Pretti's death and every single one of them blame the Border Patrol agent www.kenklippenstein.com/p/ice-unloads

They're not abducting your neighbors to distract you from the fact that they're pedophiles. They're abducting your neighbors and also they are pedophiles.

How it feels to As Per My Previous Email a mf

I'm a slut for a good round of Jeopardy

And then all the racists surrendered peacefully and America never had any race problems every again 🤗

This thinking just kicks the can down the road. They need to be abolished no matter what and it's easier to accomplish this goal right now when everyone is furious at them. Reigning them back by giving them more training just gives them more perceived legitimatecy. Rip off the band-aid!!!

Bad news guys. They're making it illegal to be annoying on the internet

Got literacymogged on at the public library again

Church choirs singing Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah isn't really that embarrassing or ironic. The lyrics are somewhat cryptic and it's written to sound like a song of praise. Even though it's a bit sexy when you look closely, I don't fault a person of faith for reading it otherwise

Smoking 3 packs a day until I improve my RFK Jr impression

The recurring theme of my junk getting itchy again – a leitscrotif

Got this button on my coffee machine that I don't use. For me the grind never stops 😤💯

They need to add more dopamine to reading. Lootboxes, maybe

We all got that one homie who speaks many a true word in jest

We all got that one homie whose Quiplash answers always reference the fall of Constantinople to the Ottoman Empire in 1453

THAT'S MY FUCKIN EUROPEAN MAJOR CITY AUDIO TOUR GUIDE RIGHT THERE 🗣🗣🗣

Trump actually said RIP Rob Reiner. You died because you were one of my haters. I am really great at my job. Gone but not 4gotten🙏

Jorjorwell, the animal farm guy

Super embarrassing misunderstanding when I brought over my guitar to my German friend's house. Apparently he's really into gunplay. How was I supposed to know that's what he meant by glockenspiel?

Dril is who Banksy wishes he was

I think we're due for a good old fashioned meal panic about chatGPT. If we can get the suburban housemoms to rally against it, altman will be hung in a public square by next Thursday

"Well, to play devil's advocate," – stop. Why? Why are you choosing to advocate for the evil position? Just because we have a turn of phrase for it doesn't excuse voicing harmful opinions.

No woke? Go broke

Damn Ludwig really popped his Beethovussy on Moonlight Sonata

I love having alt text as a "I don't understand the reference " button

Another certified banger from da share z0ne

Progressively decreasing my own literacy over a prolonged period of years as a bit

Wow! Jesse Welles performed his song “Join ICE” on the Colbert Show last night. 🏆

DUI-shaming is ableist

Driving on the left side of the road is normalizing colonizer traditions and should be seen as problematic

Yea you could say I'm a JD Vance supporter

trying to switch off the AI bloatware that has been pinned to the top of every single menu in every single app

WOKE 2 has momentum and inevitability that even the Pope can't deny

'Matt Gaetz Raped A Homeless Teenager' is what you mean. A teenager with a homeless parent? What? The fuck? Did she have a home and not allow her parent to live in it? Ended up having sex with? What? Yeah clearly you guys been caping for pedos long enough and you understand the assignment here

Doing to Alan Jackson's Chattahoochee what Gary Jules did to Mad World

lol she got his ass and he knows it

Endless possibilities for the resources we pour into tech and we've got Cyperpunk Phrenology

If the sandwich don’t split, you must acquit

We lost 100k in BLENDIs and you're laughing?

New awareness campaign

Due to the ongoing Canada Post strike, the boys will not arrive back in town for another 10 - 15 business days. We appreciate your understanding at this time.

Fuck it Wii Bowl

repost if you support nazi suicides

The correct spelling/wording is whatever people use so long as it's understood between speakers :v)

Who up verbing they noun rn

Smokin that Nintendo Wii'd

Linux dork nation rise up

Many people don't know this about Prince, but the "grinding" in Darling Nicki refers to leveling in WoW

I've noticed the opposing team's fans only cheer when the opponents score on us. To win those fans over, I recommend we score on ourselves repeatedly; that will surely make them so happy they'll start supporting us. And I'm sure all our fans will keep cheering for us—who else is there to cheer for?