easter is my absolute favorite

JANET PLANET HERSELF ON DRAG RACE I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT

I don’t know who needs to hear this but Aubrey Plaza is Wow Platinum

bestie wished me a happy 115th anniversary of the triangle shirtwaist factory fire and unironically I am touched

contemplating re-breaking out the rollerblades I bought 4 years ago…

fully memory-holed Annette Bening getting Oscar nominated for “Nyad”

Apple Warning in effect starting Saturday afternoon in Astoria. Please allow for extra travel time.

QUEENIE 👑 WAS A BLONDE 👱🏽‍♀️ AND HER AGE 🕰️ 💀 STOOD STILL ✋🏼🛑 AND SHE DANCED 💃🏽 💃🏽 TWICE ✌🏽 A DAY 🗓️ AT THE VAUDEVILLE 🎭🤹

If you find bigger people/fat people attractive you owe it to those people to learn how to flirt and show that attraction without coming off like you’re fetishizing their size

may have yearned a little too close to the sun

“I think this is a bad idea but I can see you’re committed to doing it anyways” still counts as being seen :)

guess who's ready to wake up and send six more likes on hinge today!

“I saw Cole Escola as Mary at the Lortel” I mutter as they wheel me into the activity room for my pills and bingo

if you need me I’ll be begging the text man for texts

Just got reminded that Amy Adams didn’t get an Oscar nomination for “Arrival” the same year Annette Bening didn’t get nominated for “Twentieth Century Women” DON’T TEXT 😤

my edible and two glasses of wine are conspiring against me to make me horny…

In 2026 I’d like more butts on my face plz

Leg day courtesy of @madexcruise.bsky.social

Devised myself a Marjorie Prime/Marty Supreme double feature #MarjorieSupreme? #MartyPrime?

Save me Pamela Anderson’s lentil soup…

“When you’re holding a hammer, everything looks like a nail” - Lorde

maybe watching this immediately after getting back from seeing my family who haven’t budged an inch closer to accepting me within the last 13 years was…ill-advised!

😍 Nicole KIDMAN 😍

Looking forward to watching this in the comfort of my own apartment tomorrow

powerless against the childhood bathroom mirror

The first verse of every religious Christmas song versus every subsequent verse

they should invent greeting cards for people you have complicated relationships with

Watched a man get up from across the Acela car ONLY to say to the guy on his phone behind me “you know you’re in the quiet car” twice to shut him up and then return to his seat

Coworker and I brought a package up to the 12th floor that was delivered to us by accident, and frankly based on their reaction you’d think I just took a shit on their floor

Scott Hunter in Heated Rivalry

I am not stronger than the millennial urge to take an online personality quiz 💚

Sorry BABY 💜

Hinge’s otherworldly ability to pluck a man who was clearly not attracted to you but nonetheless invited you to his apartment in 2018 to watch Sam Rockwell in “Moon” on his bed and INSIST upon your compatibility 😍

Getting a “sometimes I’m tempted to message you and idk how you’d feel about that” on Grindr from my gorgeous dancer roommate from 2018…watch this space…

How are you a “doormat parent” for estranged adult children? They aren’t walking through that door you speak of.

if you INSIST

Limited edition L train this morning?

Garfield-maxxing on a snow day

Convinced myself for half a second that Ayo Edebiri posting about being in “Ella McCay” was another “Ayo Edebiri is an executive producer of ‘The Kominsky Method’”

Gracie Mansion is not NOT a good drag name

My coworker and I have been editing each other’s use of a particular phrase in a batch of reports we’ve splitting up reviewing, and I just learned I’ve been wrong the whole time…

strangely inspirational

The one-two punch of being hit with 12 political/sale spam texts on landing then with an ad for The Free Press in the taxi…yeah I’m back in America

Whoop registered my terminal-to-terminal Auckland airport sprint as a physical activity 🏃🏼‍♂️

I don’t think I’ve ever taken a flight back to NYC with a layover where the first leg wasn’t delayed…and we’re not breaking that tradition today it seems

Longest day of my life (crossing the international date line later)

Staying at a hotel named Fable tonight