Keir Starmer’s spokesperson asked for the PM's response to Nigel Farage’s plan to deport hundreds of thousands of people living and working completely legally in the UK, replies that he thinks it is “unworkable” and “unfunded”. So his objection is that they’ve got their sums wrong

I guess thats why they're called cockpits?

Fun fact, you can sing "Stop Lord Glasman shagging his wife" to the old Thames TV fanfare

On an unrelated note, I wonder what this guy's up to nowadays

There's a massive hint as to who it is in the story, absolute wrongun if so, I've had the antithesis of pleasure of meeting him twice metro.co.uk/2025/09/20/j...

That's exactly what I do in planes

Was he hoping to put out the fire?

"A sudden ejaculation caused me to wake up" Dr. Watson, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, pg 219.

Holmes burst into the room and ejaculated.

If it was a Navy pilot then you could say it was a case of flying seaman.

Pissed with the love of my life singing Phil Collins songs

Sensational

Labour "future"

Watching Strictly. If I said "massive coke habit" would you know who I'm talking about

WHERES BOTTLE BOYS

*checks league table*

Top Cum

Music FACT: Placebo were originally a Cure tribute band

That's how I wanna go

Today was the memorial for the late great Ray Brooks. There was a great turn out & it was lovely to share stories with his family & friends.

#totp watchers, this upcoming book of mine may interest you!

"Last week I dropped in on the Walmsley camp and their pool fun were pathetic, no one was ducking anyone and no one was chucking anyone in. Get this, I want plenty of ducking and chucking around"

Wonderful Grayson viewing there, specs on a chain, the simmering rabble doing their own jokes

Is one of the seasons “ocean”?

Alright then, walk it

Oh VEH good

Well, it *is* autumn #incrediblyniche #smellofbaconasimdoingupmylaces

Elton John voice: It seems to me / that you lived your life/ like a fuckin piece of shit

I forgot Trigger was played by Robert Powell

Del Boy, famously played by Robert Maxwell.

*Antiques Roadshow theme tune*

"Richards, six yard box, nothing on at that point, they've been under attack for fifteen minutes, wallop, long to Mateta, he's knocked to Kamada, Mateta, give and go, Munoz pegs it up the right wing, runs like a cunt and then puts it in, Ebs laces it in the fucking net. LIMBS"

"and Frank's on the back of this double decker bus, on roller skates! And he says 'I ain't got no change!' to the conductor! And, you might not know this, he did all his own stunts"

"...and the man says, that's one hell of an act. What do you call yourselves?"

Off to tai chi in a minute

Someone sent me a voice note yesterday. Am I supposed to send one back?

Like obviously I can't talk about work but, bloody hell. People and the things they do. Jesus Christ

Some difficult stuff at work. Human beings, man.

Was discussing Bob Grant, off of On The Buses, and the implausibility of his being cast as a ladies' man. And yet his real life wife was, well, look

"Just popping downstairs to do a quick load"

I have questions about the utility room www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/1...

Oh is it "conductor wears a hat, audience shits themselves laughing" night

Oxford is really nice. It has a really pleasant village vibe to it and it's pretty diverse. Not sure I wouldn't go nuts after five days of living here though. It's like Vegas, things that are okay here are insane everywhere else

Bits of Oxford

At the Trout pub!