It’s really important to install an entire federal discrimination system so somebody’s cis daughter can finish 14th at her swim meet.

God I need to start taking notes for when my grand niece interviews me for her 2020s history report

I can’t believe that the @clevelandclinic.bsky.social found a new way to betray trans kids. The kids who were their patients. They’ve told the Feds they won’t care for kids for twenty years, they’ll pay $300,000 in protection money, and they’ll spend millions to open a detransition clinic. 😭 😡

This is Dottie’s favorite activity: stand outside an open door and observe us like she’s at an aquarium

Second time on Riley and he a biiiig boy - 18.1 hands and feels so fancy to ride!

@jessethorn.bsky.social every time I eat a leftover burrito I think “marinate the stump” so thank you I guess?

Red winged black birds took over my feeder so I took it down for a couple days and I think they’re mad

Walked by a 20-something dude in Meijer wearing a maga hoodie and said “woof dude” And he’s been standing in a corner hugging his gf for 90 seconds

Dropkick Murphys are releasing a new song called "Citizen I.C.E." The lyrics go: "Too scared to join the military/ Too dumb to be a cop." consequence.net/2026/01/drop...

Rode a horse I hadn’t for the first time in months and didn’t realize Siri was eves-dropping. Deeply shameful.

No I said don’t tread on *me*. You can get treaded on.

and so soon after the tragic loss of Stop N Shop founder Stoppard Nathaniel Shop

Wins 2025 hands down

OK, who narced?

Can my riding coach Linda win an Oscar for cinematography?

@jessethorn.bsky.social please thank whichever of your kids was obsessed with Logistics or whatever that Swedish movie was because I won trivia by getting the closest number of hours it was.

I’m doing my part to spread the word of @kenjilopezalt.bsky.social and his perfect Mac and cheese recipe I learned on @judgejohnhodgman.bsky.social because the world sucks but this recipe is perfect and that’s worth celebrating.

Perhaps there were two sandwiches. The regular one and… … … … the grassy roll

@mikeflanaganfilm.com Madeline's delivery of "the fucking Supreme Court" is hitting really hard today. Also, you should win a pulitzer for "lempire" 🍋

Every year on my #BlyManor rewatch I wonder if @mikeflanaganfilm.com was trying to set a world record by fitting the word ‘parapet’ 83 times into a single episode.

Chicago

Maybe it’s because I haven’t watched baseball regularly since 2016 or because Chicago is under a fascist takeover, but the announcers’ jibber jabber feels especially inane tonight #Cubs

J Edgar Hoover inventing the male loneliness epidemic back in the 1930s

Let's say it again: 1) Harvard said "No," and Trump has backed off. 2) Chicago (and Illinois) said "No," and Trump has backed off. It's day by day. But those who said "OK, sure," have gained nothing at all. Except shame.

It’s a white straight conservative Christian man and wow it’s fun to watch the backflips his fellow white straight conservative Christian men to still make it the left’s fault somehow. “Perhaps he was electrocuted wokely” A complete separation from reality.

You can write this only if, by virtue of your income, identity, or both, you are utterly removed from the consequences of politics. To pretend that the racist, misogynistic, anti-gay vileness that Kirk spent his life spreading is secondary to the fact that he spread it "the right way" is appalling.

Happy Oh Shit It’s A Long Weekend and We’re Out of Beer and Indiana has Blue Laws and Liquor Stores are Closed on Sundays Memorial Day to all who celebrate!

the haters and losers will say it's foolish to indulge in wild speculation but you can't deny it's extremely funny that they have to write headlines like this

We built a calculator that doesn't work, but don't worry, it's also a plagiarism machine that will tell you to kill yourself. It runs on the world's oceans and costs 10 trillion dollars.

What I enjoy about this is you don’t get too many of these that feature two insane people

My first in-person capybara experience did not disappoint. My dude’s head was square as hell. @jordanmorris.bsky.social @jessethorn.bsky.social @jordanjessego.bsky.social

Just leaving this here for the next time someone wants to tell me how great capitalism is

AI is not even ready to tackle "sphygmomanometer" and like I couldn't do better but also no one thinks I'm going to be able to run the entire world and solve all of the world's problems. Yet.

Big news: New Goat

@pastpunditry.bsky.social “he was a graduate of Cornell- he and Andy Bernard”

Dang Braham Stoker has met every dude I’ve ever known!

I believe a lawyer told Andrew Yang this, because Yang is a rich nitwit who hangs out with other rich nitwits, none of whom do any real work nor can tell good work from bad, all of whom could be replaced by an AI chatbot with no loss in output speed or quality.

🤌

#besties #adoptdontshop

I fell off a pony yesterday and two (2) of my terrible friends separately asked if I was pushed.

X10000 whenever you really like a thing, let people know!

I love this stupid dog so so much

So glad we all get to experience the Most Ironic Independence Day In American History.

Acknowledging the fourth by double-featuring The Post and All The President’s Men. I hate this holiday and I hate fireworks. But Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks tho 🤌

I was feeling lousy so @mikeygreiff.bsky.social suggested I watch Barbie because he was going to bed. Images from the next hour:

Life is so bad so I’m going to celebrate the absolute shit out of finishing the #LBJ series by Caro. Took me just under a year to read them and I loved it.

Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bay gulls. Geddit? Thank you, I'll be back tomorrow. Tip your waitress.

Oh my god we’re (bare)back again