Me: “hey what do you call an impolite -“ Daughter: “Rude-oldf“ Me: “…reindeer”

Every Nextdoor post is like “I hired a plumber who stole my packages and my dog. NEVER AGAIN”

I’m 60% sure my oldest daughter told her little sister to “Stop dickin’ around” but that’s not enough confidence to talk to her about it without accidentally teaching her to say “Stop dickin’ around”

A Christmas Carol is a story about how children suffer and die from treatable illnesses because the wealthy choose to keep them in poverty. It also correctly notes that the only thing a rich bastard fears is the inevitably of death. It even has Muppets in it. Truly Dickens' most timeless work.

Using a phone is uncomfortable post-LASIK, and they should advertise that as a feature of LASIK.

Walking into 2026

Die Hard is a Children’s movie.

Jake Gyllenhaal as Mr Music remains one of my favorite things youtu.be/ddNNN80A_7Y?...

Wrapping presents on a #caturday

I use a “Heard Chef” emoji liberally at work. It’s the perfect acknowledgement without an implicit agreement. I would love to have something like it available outside of slack.

Dollar General

I just helped my 3-year-old recover from Hyperventilating by singing @alyankovic.bsky.social’s The Saga Begins to her. AMA.

Gauging my 6-year-olds’s diva levels today: She just told me that she was an empire.

Film you’ve seen more than six times. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel

[naive cinephile who watched the KPop Demon Hunters fireplace instead of the actual movie] Wow. This movie is one single shot. I get the hype.

Asian-American Actresses Describe Struggle Of Constantly Being Typecast As Sherlock Holmes

The Rolling Stones covered “Like a Rolling Stone” which I’m surprised I hadn’t heard until today #xpncountdown music.apple.com/us/album/lik...

We got Weird Al out here singing Killing In The Name, the time for moderation is over

Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons Total Landscaping.

to commemorate alan dye moving from apple to meta, here's one of his best quotes

I wish I could have been in a crowd hearing Frankie Valli pinch out his falsetto surprise for the first time.

I’m getting LASIK in one week. Are there any obvious iOS accessibility features that I should enable for my recovery period?

I just finished book 8 of 9 in the Expanse series. It’s great, but I have to pace myself so that I don’t finish it before I get LASIK in a week.

[Eating dinner and looking out the window at the winter decorations] Me: Melody, what do think of the lights? Melody (3 year old): I love them! Me: Did you see me put them up? Melody: Yes! Do you know who didn’t put them up? Me: Who? Melody: (pointing at herself) ME!!!!!

Cyber Monday deal: Cancel one of your streaming services and save $20/month on streaming services.

Kittens’ first snow

I’m always looking for concert film recommendations available on the Apple TV store.

AI can solve late-stage capitalism though by breaking it completely

Two topics came up repeatedly over thanksgiving with my family: 1) Can AI solve this problem for me (no) 2) Late-stage capitalism?

This two-minute joke video is now the basis of my political, social, and religious beliefs. I support One Big Wife.

Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life

My wife just invented crannaise (cranberry sauce with mayonnaise) and I’m having a hard time accepting it.

I brought the Hoobastank to thanksgiving. It’s an old family recipe.

-giggles- www.lego.com/en-us/produc...

If Godzilla ever milkshake-ducks, I’m not going to have anything to wear.

I want to write a kids’ book about the difference between cruel words and cuss words called “Don’t Be Fucking Mean”

Having a partner who is also a game developer is awesome for so many reasons, but I never imagined that #Playdate (and frogs) would play a part in our engagement story. Needless to say, I said yes, and Paco & Lily is now available for free on itch for you to play too! 🥰 tkers.itch.io/paco-and-lily

When I was young, I thought that when someone in a TV show or movie asked “Are you wearing a wire?” it meant “an underwire bra” Whenever they asked women characters I was shocked at how rude and intrusive a question it was, but it did make scenes where they asked men that much more interesting

I have been doing entirely too much earnest posting about deep things recently, I need to do a proper thread about hippo testicles or something just to keep myself sane. Oh by the way hippos have migratory testicles.

I dress like I’m on a TV show that only had advertising deals with Godzilla and Kirkland brands.

This is what it’s like growing up in rural America, and it’s probably the source of a lot of our problems.

My 3-year-old just said “widderawy” instead of literally, and it made her sound like a little baby teenager.

That’s a good Mothra

I’m probably not going to ever need this, but I love the name “Astronoby”: github.com/rhannequin/a...

posted this 6 years ago and it’s still relevant

[listening to the MASH theme song] What a pretty theme song for a comedy show. I wonder what it’s called?

Happy There Is A Circulatory System Walking Through The Kitchen Day to all who celebrate.

Out of the frying pan [Costco sweatshirt] and into the fire [Costco hoodie]