So did you use your free Eevee in Gen 1 Pokémon to balance out the party or could you not decide what evolution to use and just dump it in the computer and ignore it like all your problems?

Just like everything evolves into a crab, there’s gotta be a thing where every big pop ballad becomes Bad Romance.

Good morning, anyone raptured yet?

My review of Lou Wall’s Breaking the Fifth Wall at Soho Playhouse.

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

📸 Fujifilm X 🔎 35mm ✨ ƒ/5

You see, Hamas are freedom fighters that have to fight other freedoms fighters because they’re not fighting for freedom the right way. An undefined amount of Israelis and Palestinians need to die for Hamas’ version of freedom to be achieved. This is totally normal when fighting for freedom. /s

My boss gave me the next two days off. Wtf am I supposed to do? Sit at home and atone for my year’s sins?

If you work for ABC/Disney and have any insight on how the Kimmel fallout is playing out inside the company, please contact me on Signal at juddlegum.47 I will maintain your anonymity.

Good morning, Bluesky. I didn’t smoke weed this morning. A little commotion please.

"I never thought this could happen here" and other phrases people who aren't Jewish say

I’m 37, but I still got a face that makes middle aged black men shout “Keep your head up, young blood!” as I walk by.

I’m Kosher in the sense that I don’t put cheese on a seafood pasta.

I’m bisexual in the sense that I like Star Trek and Star Wars. I’m Wars sexual but Trek romantic.

Happy Batman day to everyone, except orphans for whom every day is Batman day.

Not gonna lie, shits getting bad, y'all. I'm doing my best not to feel powerless, but it's hard to not despair. Re-focusing on writing my play's second draft. I know what I have to do, I just gotta do it. Art is resistance after all.

The government shutting down comedians the government doesn’t like is the war on comedy. Not whether you can say what words. This is disgusting.

I just took a D&D test turns out I'm 100 percent THAT LICH.

My favorite Owen Wilson role is the one where he hits on a type A lady as a goofy dude and loosens her up while Vince Vaughn is an overconfident man child.

📸 Fujifilm X 🔎 23mm ✨ ƒ/2.5

New watch looks like a sword when it’s 7:05.

You’ve had sex in your childhood community theater. I've had sex in my college theater's dressing room. We are not the same.

You’ve had sex in your childhood bedroom. I’ve had sex in my childhood community theater. We are not the same.

There is absolutely no amount of sympathy, liberals or leftists or anyone can express for Charlie Kirk or his family that will be sufficient for the right. So don’t bother.

He’s dead, Jim.

"I think it's worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God-given rights" - Charlie Kirk, 2023

New review up, Exorcistic at Asylum NYC. stageandcinema.com/2025/09/08/e...

She’s been hunting at TJMaxx every day for this beaded purse. A little commotion please. 😏

Cuomo is gonna lose cause he’s not even clever. “Say No-ran to Zohran” was RIGHT THERE, bro.

Holy crap I’m hearing a literal cricket outside of my apartment window wtf cricket Central Park is that way.

Good morning, Bluesky.

mom's spaghetti

Good morning, Bluesky. What are you doing today?

Iggy Pop, best known for his role as Yelgrun in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Mick Fleetwood, best known for his role as an Antedian dignitary in Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Sarah Silverman, best known for her role as Rain Robinson in Star Trek: Voyager.

Asking how much caffeine I've had today is a HIPAA violation.

My favorite James Gun movie is the one with a long tracking shot action sequence set to a lesser known rock song that has a happy tone.

Pretty sure the same people who think they can threaten Muslims with meat would also lose their shit if you told them there's no actual war on Christmas

Good morning, Bluesky.

Superman Returns with better action wouldn’t have saved it. It had badly cast leads with zero chemistry. Superman 2025 is the best cast Clark/Lois since ‘78.

Star Trek 2009 rides more on the good casting than most people want to admit.

Time to find out what Kpop Demon Hunters is all about. *Presses play*

Good morning, Bluesky. The Emperor protects.

Dude’s a nut. To state the obvious. Again.