Hey Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives…. I know my guy @austinlouisray.bsky.social fired off a killer joke while recording your most recent episode, but you’re afraid of letting anyone be more charming than your Guy. #ReleasetheAustinCut you cowards.

SORRY. Sorry. Have we seen this *incredible* news video coming out of Queensland? Wait for the witness/witnesses statement

Shout out to tuna salad sandwiches. Eat it haters.

Yeah I’m jackin’ it….. PEPPERjackin it. (Cheese that is)

Less pasta salad more coleslaw, tbh.

We need some kind of federal regulation so record companies clearly identify what is Side A of a record and what is Side B.

How would @edsbs.bsky.social fix Atlanta? There’s no escaping many of the allegations we’d like to dodge about our city. But at the very least, we should change the name of our baseball team. It's time to rebrand the Braves—immediately and forever. how-id-fix-atlanta.ghost.io/how-spencer-...

I would love a Kraft single right now.

Shout out to allspice.

Someone give whoever invented the weighted blanket a raise.

JIMINY GLICK: Now you, you, you, you—your cars, they tend to run over pedestrians. Or else BURST into flames. ha HA isn't that wonderful! ELON MUSK: *the least convincing laugh of all time* GLICK: *tucking his legs under himself* You bought a website where no one likes you. Why?

Great news, everyone. YouTube has uncensored episodes of Kitchen Nightmares.

All states should require license plates on the fronts of cars. What are we doing?

I bet AV professionals are very good at trivia.

As an enthusiastic amateur, it’s nice when you do well on your pour over.

I bet I watch THAT live Silver Springs video at least once a week.

Robyn is great.

Longtime Gurf Morlix guy.

At a bar where I ordered a fiddyfiddy martini. The bartender asked me “half olive juice?” This dirty martini shit is out of control.

Honestly if you write a song and call it ”Dreams”, you better be pretty confident in yourself.

The best part of pot roast are the carrots.

Bulls games need more Rufus.

Faye Webster ass weather today.

My phone just autocorrected a poorly spelled “barrage” to “Baratheon”.

Nothing but respect for MY president

@kastranec.bsky.social that’s right

Always can go for a radish.

I love the NBA.

This airplane smells like a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich and I’m not angry at it.

It’s been all down hill since we abandoned CD jukeboxes.

I'm the "stay warm" guy. Grabbing some tacos... "Stay warm." Getting out of my Lyft.... "Stay warm." Hitting the corner store for a mid day sparkling water... "Stay warm." Stay warm skeeters.

good morning

Currently sitting at the Musicbox during intermission of the brutalist. Here’s my take… popcorn is great, movie popcorn is not. I would personally love a kettle chip right now.

Keeping it soft today. tidal.com/track/232666...

Brutalist KFC r/brutalism

Never depend on anyone else for soup. Depend on yourself.

I like this. This is great. Gonna be a Philly soul day tomorrow. youtu.be/tXVP279pSmc?...

Overcast Phoebe Bridgers ass day.

In Nebraska, afterwards, we were read “Night of the Twisters”, which message was a series of tornadoes were coming for us sooner or later.

I am going to eat a whole Jack’s Pizza tonight. With A LOT of fish sauce.

Got a real bad case if the ol don’t wanna go out but don’t want to stay home.

“you’ll be visited by three spirits” the three spirits:

It is a gift

Not sure anything else in Christmas music hits as hard as the run in “O Holy Night” starting with “FALL ON YOUR KNEES”

All I want if Xmas is an adaptation of the Christmas Carol directed by Peter Jackson, featuring the cast of Succession. Hashtag Scrooge Cox.