The Rise of Skywalker does eventually end.

Not good enough. Next year I have to crack the top 20

every trans person i see post about the OU suspension knows that the suspended target is trans & a grad student, & has an innate awareness that this is about purging trans employees. every cis person i see thinks the target is a rando professor & that this is about giving conservatives good grades

Ah yes, the three genders

Maybe the snails just made a run for it.

DID MOMMY VANISH? Many special boys couldn’t see her when she covered her eyes. Scientists say it’s time to consider whether they’re onto something.

Gender is a spectrum from just wanting have fun to being back in town, and to varying degrees, each of us contains attributes of both, which is a beautiful thing

Can I borrow a feeling? Could you lend me a jar of love?

“Uhhh it’s Jeffrey EpsTEEN not Jeffrey EpsCHILD. Case closed.” - Megyn Kelly

Veronica Lake’s hair was so powerful that the US government made her change her hairstyle during WWII, for the war effort.

Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/

Whoa, deleted track titles from the Lily Allen album have leaked

Congrats to Anthony Albanese and the Australian Labor Party on their record-smashing 1,000-year reign

I agree. If you’re going to be racist you should at least put on some goddamn clothes.

Me and the other labubus were talking and we think your apartment is too depressing to justify coming to life at night

Has he Mam-done it?!

Dead Dick Cheney Drove the world insaney Animani-aaaaaacs (Those are the facts)

So… he wants them to bring another person with them?

I thought my Halloween costume (frizzy red wig, homemade guitar, hands absolutely drenched with innocent blood) was pretty obvious, but not a single person guessed “Benjamin Netanyahoo Serious”

Did Frankenstein come up with this ad?

It can’t rain on Halloween night! That’s against the law!

I started doing this but then it turned out that I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend by The Rubinoos and Another Girl Another Planet by The Only Ones came out in the same year. I don’t want to choose so I’m going to give up instead.

Why not, footage like that comes along Once in a Lifetime

Possessed by the sudden urge to make a playlist of the best power-pop songs for every year since, say, 1970

This week’s news is how I learned that “the east wing” of the White House doesn’t refer to this bit.

EVEN IF you want to use a streaming subscription rather than buy physical or pay via platforms like Bandcamp, Tidal is about 8,000 times better than Spotify.

Jewels… Now museum, now you don’t

People are mocking Trump’s video as “unpresidential” but, if the technology had existed at the time, Roosevelt would absolutely have shared a video of him covering protestors with a firehose-like spray of shit from the back of his wheelchair

you find my dead and broken body totally nude in the middle of a field and just as you're telling the 911 operator there's been a murder i'm gently blanketed by a set of clothes and then a parachute

Friendly reminder that Tidal ($10.99) is now cheaper than Spotify ($11.99), delivers better audio quality, pays its artists 2x as much, and generally doesn't allow AI slop. You can move your entire music library over in a matter of minutes.

(Real answer incoming, not a joke one, sorry) The X-Men shouldn’t exist in the same continuity as other superheroes.

The use of AI to marionette a woman whose tortured existence was spent trying to carve her own life and identity out of the space men forced her into is both damningly macabre and a surprisingly perfect encapsulation of the problems with this ghoulish use of technology.

Every book that doesn’t start with the narrator telling you their name is bullshit. I’m supposed to listen to you bang on about your dumb dad and all the people in this world who haven’t had the advantages you’ve had before you even tell me who you are?! This is why the only good book is Moby Dick.

israel has been holding over 1,700 people hostage the whole time it has been demanding the release of its hostages

This guy wants to take you to Transyl-flavour-ya This was more difficult to type than it is satisfying to read. Sorry

One Battle After Another? Did they finally make a movie about living with my wife?!

Zodiac killer murders again, challenging legal bounds

People are clowning on this but “is Trump constantly lying or is he so cognitively impaired that he believes what he says in the moment?” is a fair question. The answer, of course, is both

The real question is which slur we’ll all settle on for these fake AI people. “Sloppoes” isn’t right but it’s something in that ballpark.

BUT YOU BETTER NOT KILL THE GROOVE

We just had dinner at a dine-in Pizza Hut with an all-you-can-eat deal. It felt so 1992 that I walked out of there with a Gin Blossoms t-shirt and optimism for the future.

So what’s going on when Trump reposts a fake video of himself announcing something that doesn’t exist? Is he saying he *could* announce it some day? Is he just highlighting how far AI video creation has come? Or - and this feels most likely - he genuinely doesn’t remember that he never did that?

Thankfully my kids go to a school where my daughter was told to do a report on Israel, got up in front of her class and accused Israel of committing crimes against humanity, and then (rightfully) received very high marks.

TEEN: you’re the only one who understands me danny. my stupid dad won’t let me go see billie eilish with gretchen AI CHATBOT DANIEL PLAINVIEW FROM THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Your father is a bastard. Fit for a hole in the ground. You will go with Gretchen. Even if your father must die, as a bastard dies

Remember in Independence Day when the alien was speaking through that scientist by manipulating his voice box? The “no peeeeaace” bit? Anyway I just figured out what RFK sounds like

Mind you, I barely passed PE, but I think (correct me if I’m wrong!) you go forward

If they're going to try and retcon Charlie Kirk, then we should try to retcon him too.

I can’t imagine anything less useful than a meeting with Trump.

My fave comic book store was doing a sketch exchange for Batman Day today. I got there too late to participate but came home and did this anyway. Happy Batman Day everybody!