He turned down the role of the t-rex in Jurassic Park. “I want to play one of the people, I am a people” he said to Spielberg. Spielberg eventually relented and cast Dustin Hoffman as the t-rex. Hoffman was great but we’ll always wonder

Expansion? It’s already the WORLD Cup. Unless the Monstars from Space Jam are pivoting to soccer, we’ve maxed out here

It’s the death that keeps on giving

I feel like the Grim Reaper is warming up. Getting a few easy wins under his belt before going for the big one.

I suspect whoever built this thing did it deliberately to make Trump look bad. And in doing so they became Trump’s arch nemesis

Congrats to Community Strong, the first Australian political party to be named by the Incredible Hulk himself

My comic books are piling up while I wait for my new glasses to be ready so I can read them without getting a headache. This is the plight of the middle-aged nerd

Oh no, the vandals have also gotten to the government documents

Oh no, why?

Infinite Jest. Statler and Waldorf would have a field day. “This bear just made it Finite Jest!” “This is so boring I’ll have an Infinite Rest!”. Things of that nature.

Trump has ended the war! How embarrassing for whoever started it.

Call me an idealist, but I think that a prerequisite for hosting an international sport event should be that you're willing to host an international sport event.

I’ll spend my twilight years using Ultrahand to create a caravan and turning Link into a grey nomad

I was talking to my gender critical friend the other day and she said “I want to kill you” so I said “respectfully I disagree” and she said “i bet you’re plotting terror against me right now” and I said “what makes you say that” and she said “websites” and I said “oh” and then she shot me, amicably

[throws dart] Nicolas Cage is a [throws dart] 30s style PI who is also [throws dart] Spider-Man More TV shows should be made this way

Private enterprises famously have no access to AI

I hope not. That would be bullying, in my view

if some snotty wizard boy called me a muggle i'd cast a little chin magic on his ass. alakazam you're in the fuckin hospital!! and nobody would think of it as hitting a kid by the way. ok. people wouldn't say i hit a kid. cause they'd agree it's a totally different power dynamic. wizards you can hit

JORDAN PETERSON: Grief is never good. All grief robs from us. All grief destroys. CHARLIE BROWN, IN THE OTHER PODCAST CHAIR: I was just trying to kick the football sir

hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

How about mind your business

The Beatles and Then Part of Another Beatle, Like a Leg or Something, Maybe a Wing

G’day Bluesky friends! My adorable children have entered a Free Comic Book Day costume contest, which is voted on via facebook likes. If any FB users could visit the album and chuck a like on Ant Man and/or Rocket, you’d be doing them a huge favour! www.facebook.com/share/1NbLvE...

Billy Ocean, Love Really Hurts Without You Bowie, Modern Love Replacements, Can’t Hardly Wait Big Star, Thirteen The Hold Steady, Stuck Between Stations MCR, Welcome to the Black Parade Against Me!, Thrash Unreal Tiffany, I Think We’re Alone Now Refused, New Noise Jackie Wilson, Higher and Higher

I reckon they should let me reboot The Pretender in comic book form

“Incoming money is higher than ever! Outgoing, well, that’s on a separate slide that I never look at as it’s simply none of my business. I assume it’s fine.”

I’ve considered it and my fundamental problem with negative gearing isn’t that it’s a waste [it is] or that it’s unfair [it is]. Taxes are _moral_ signals, where societies agree what’s to be encouraged and what punished, and giving shit landlords money for nothing is a flat message to wage earners

“Baa ram ewe”

I need apps to understand that once I tell them to accept Face ID, I am never remembering the password again

Sorry American followers, “Albo” is our Prime Minister. We call him that because he was born in Albonia. It’s a real immigrant success story.

It’s way more important to Albo to Look Prime Ministerial than to Do Leadership #auspol

I discovered the problem with oil shipments - they call it the STRAIGHT of Hormuz but it’s clearly bent

Pepe Le Pew knows that cat’s not into him, but he feels like he can’t give up the chase because he’s already put so much effort into it. That’s the skunk cost fallacy

Pepe Le Pew knows that cat’s not into him, but he feels like he can’t give up the chase because he’s already put so much effort into it. That’s the skunk cost fallacy

"the good news is that we have found a relatively cheap and easy way to prevent the cast from going through puberty. the bad news is that not everybody in this room is going to like it".

Just imagine how many Dumbledores they’ll cycle through in that time

guy commissioning a bust of himself: how will you determine the shipping charges me: weigh a head of you

Imagine a world in which The Pitt came out five years ago and there are five thousand people with sourdough starters named “Baby Jane Dough”

Oh no I was JUST about to shift all my meetings to the metaverse

The Reserve Bank is an instrument of class war against workers. Inflation is being driven by profiteering by big corporations and the spending of the super-rich. But the RBA's solution is always to make workers pay the price through higher mortgage rates and unemployment.

Hey everyone, I finally watched One Battle After Another, I’m all caught up on culture again.

We’re all trying to find the sentient potato who did this

Why?! The point of a rate rise is to reduce demand by curtailing people’s ability to spend. But this isn’t demand driven, and the petrol prices are already doing the curtailing!! Rich people just like it when poor people suffer.

I guarantee you Firefly isn’t coming back. Maybe they’re all voicing a game or an audio drama or forming a volleyball team or something

That can’t be right, Bruce Campbell is supposed to leave this world by driving Sam Raimi’s ‘73 Oldsmobile off a cliff.

When it happens I give Apple permission to hack my phone and start playing U2’s “Beautiful Day” regardless of the time of day or night.

Too many letters of the alphabet rhyme. Stupid shit. B C D E all in a row? Come on. Anyway did they call my group

Look I know I’ve only been the chair of the Fifa Peace Prize committee for a few months but I promise we’ll do better next time

These people have confused two different Ayatollahs. I’d be worried if I were wrestling superstar Chris Jericho, the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah