Hey how do we survive this for another 2.5 years

What if instead we didn’t do this work stuff and all started our weekend early

Really annoying to be trapped in a body that doesn’t do what it’s supposed to

Do you ever see someone else’s water bottle and think “wow you must have a immune system of steel”

This year is kicking my ass like if I could get maybe like an hour two of peace that could probably go a long way

Liaison

One way to beat the Sunday Scaries is to have seven working brain cells

Never ceases to amaze me how many people are willing to sell their soul for money and power, even when that means destroying lives and civilization

We really got up the camera crew budget next time

Take some pity on them, bring them their phones at least while they have to sit there waiting endlessly

Smh it’s like when your gate isn’t ready for your plane. Sure hope they don’t have to pee.

so happy for my emotional support astronauts

Feels like they could open the lil door and hop in the ocean for a quick swim by now

If I’m understanding this right,— We just sent four people around the moon and the trip was damn near flawless until they splashed down and tried to use their cell phone?

Can I go to the moon next

Maybe everyone should just go home and take a nap and try again tomorrow

A bird has moved into my front door wreath so now I don’t use my front door but it’s even flying away when my garage door opens so idk do I just relinquish my entire front home to it? Climb in through a window? Go around back?

I went back to capture what the astronauts said in full when the clock was stopped at T-10 minutes and they were asked if they were go for launch: This is Victor. We are going for our families. This is Christina. We are going for our teammates. This is Jeremy. We are going for all humanity.

I sure hope it happens soon

So, uh, glad I didn’t end up flying this weekend

I love when food is recalled like months after you’ve consumed it and still lived. Glass particles? No match for my digestive system!

Nothing like manufacturing a TSA crisis to create an excuse for increased ICE presence in airports

The way my insurance company authorized something as medically necessary and now that they were billed for it are saying yeah it’s medically necessary but not covered by your plan lmao

Anyway let us have love is blind already!!!

It’s exhausting that we have to share a planet with complete morons

the kind of thing that gets played at a war crimes trial

***starting a war

Am I too young for a midlife crisis

Trump Wins $60 On Kalshi Betting He’ll Bomb Iran https://theonion.com/trump-wins-60-on-kalshi-betting-hell-bomb-iran/

Where are the economy obsessed GOP’ers for these gas prices

“That’s the way it is” says the one guy exclusively responsible for the way it is.

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Im losing steam with 2026 good thing its almost … march

Wow I am over working for a living today

Columbia student detained today is a day-in-the-life influencer with 100K followers. Her stories right now go from her studying for a Genetics exam in a nicely edited "ten hour study with me at Columbia" video, to a photo of her knees with the caption "dhs illegally arrested me please help"

what's your guys favorite credit card number and expiration date

Wait I want weather too I have fomo

Why do I keep seeing celebrity death gofundmes

Mexican army kills leader of Jalisco New Generation Cartel, official says

2. Locations: Jalisco State (including Puerto Vallarta, Chapala, and Guadalajara); Tamaulipas State (including Reynosa and other municipalities); parts of Michoacán State; Guerrero State; and Nuevo León State.

1. BREAKING The U.S. State Department is urging U.S. citizens in the following areas of Mexico to shelter in place due to security operations and cartel violence. This includes Puerto Vallarta. This comes after the Mexican army killed the cartel leader known as “El Mencho.”

You’ve got to click through to really be able to read this, but note that the box on the top right says this will actually be a two-level facility, with around 5,200 beds on the ground floor (if I’m reading the blurry text right) and around 3,100 on the “mezzanine.”

Sounds rough! I avoid this ever happening to me with One Weird Trick

I struggle a lot with survivor guilt. I don’t have ALS, but my disease is also a motor neuron disease. It’s unfair how rapidly and aggressively ALS takes over, and that the treatments that exist to preserve *my* motor neurons cannot preserve their motor neurons.

If you’re having a bad day it’s probably because you haven’t yet done your daily rewatch of the bad bunny Super Bowl halftime show

I root for everyone to win gold because they look so invested and have worked so hard and I don’t like when they’re sad!!!

Whenever I watch the Olympics I sit there like “no no no” but watching moguls maybe more than anything

Trump Still Polling Well With Working-Class American Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-still-polling-well-with-working-class-american-pedophiles/