Democrats Condemn ICE For Murdering Without Proper Warrants https://theonion.com/democrats-condemn-ice-for-murdering-without-proper-warrants/

need to get the VH1 Pop Up Video team back together to do their thing and fact check everything this motherfucker says

People who can eat popcorn one kernel at a time probably have everything else figured out in life too, right?

Don't talk to Josh or his son ever again

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Roger Sterling's response to MLK's assassination on MAD MEN sorta sums up the entire series, and acts as a grim reminder of where we still are in America

Gorgeous

Same principle for people who "just don't want to see" queerness

Fight clubs would solve the male loneliness epidemic

Gavin Newsom has never had a homeless, a working unhoused, or an affordable housing advocate on his podcast despite governing California. So yeah I think it’s weird that he’s entertained & platformed multiple fascists while grinning, nodding & relenting to their easily defeatable talking points.

From a good friend in Minneapolis: "Target is allowing ICE to stage in their parking lots, use their restrooms, and abduct people from inside their stores - so if you weren’t boycotting already, now is the time." They were staging in Chicago as well.

Still kind of in this mode honestly.

"... in order to invent heaven and hell, a man would need to know nothing except the human body." - Saramago

Brotha James ✊🏾🔥

Running on this platform

Student question after learning the idiom couch potato: "if you are a couch potato do you have some kind of mental problem?"

November is the luteal phase of the year

I love eating red onions but I do not love having eaten red onions

I dreamnt that Obama wrote everyone a very solemn email to announce that he was putting free maxipads in every public library, which when you open it up it says READ in large vertical rainbow letters

Tinker, tailor, nicholas hoult(er) will poulter

I would like to live my life in such a way that when I die people don't have to wonder how I felt about abusers.

I'd only kick you out of bed for not sharing your crackers, honestly

Never watched a Disney channel show. I feel like for people 2-3 years younger than me (I'm 39) that was their childhood

Carrie: Taylor Samantha: Sabrina Charlotte: Olivia Miranda: Chappell

Conversation with my man: Me: Why do I have so many doctor's appointments. I just wanna be healthy and normal, what do I have to do Josh: Go to the doctor Me: Goddammit

Nothing like trying to find photos for an esl class on body parts to demonstrate dominant culture's diseased relationship with bodies

Anyway, it's a beautiful day to stream Bad Bunny.

I thought it was vagina at first and now can't unhear

It's good to see that Zach Woods has only become more powerful and based with time.

I have 3 axioms that help me decide when to talk to people I disagree with: 1. To debate a subject is to concede that the subject is debatable. 2. To reason with a person is to concede that the person is reasonable. 3. To ask for evidence of a claim is to concede that the claim might be true.

Quite a Thursday where you shake your head in a disappointed manner at your fellow commuters twice in one hour

How it feels to move apartments

Putting chapstick under my nose on the bus like I'm clutching flowers to my face during the plague

Underrated aspect of having a dog: you have to leave early or you can't go because you HAVE to get home to let the dog out.

Just so we are clear. There is nothing wrong with being trans or autistic. Don't give an inch on that

Really helpful if you've been wondering why chatbots lie

Me canvassing

Savor every sign of their weakness and let it power you back into the work

Richard Thompson covering Britney Spears

Fuzzy blanket, takis, then herbal tea, call it a Mashigh hierarchy of needs

The mid white men of late night appear to be being canceled in reverse order of coolness, which means Fallon will be last (Thought Seth would come before Kimmel tho)

Got covid vaccine cause of BMI and cpap machine (despite only MILD apnea) because of depression... folks it pays to be a hot chubby lady with mental illnesses

Is there any situation more awkward than when you and an acquaintance have silently agreed to not meet each other's eyes on bus

1. Dog 2. When tiny gold leaves start to cover the sidewalks 3. Late September afternoon light 4. Bagel with cream cheese 5. Soft costco blanket

I do, I say this. I would enjoy always being asleep from 2-4pm.

1 Door Down

Take it from some who teaches about drone strikes, “I shed no tear for that guy” and “this is bad, it shouldn’t have happened” can be normal reactions to have simultaneously. Opposition to political violence isn’t about personal sympathy for an individual target per se, it’s about society.

Man on bike yelling at me walking with several (female) coworkers: "Ladies, I don't want to interrupt your serenity, but I just want to say ... GIRL POWER!"