being such a rancid bitch you lose bot tan is CRAZYYYYY

sighing, KAYSIE carefully but deliberately moves the forced femininomenon DORLEY HALL out of a shrinking pile labeled TRANS STEREOTYPES I’VE DODGED and takes stock of what little remains: POLYAMORY/ENM AMAZON BASICS SKIRT WARHAMMER PROGRAMMER SOCKS CHOKERS

welcome to dorley hall is making my brain go “you need to start estrogen, dress feminine, voice train, AND learn how to do makeup RIGHT NOW!” which is really interesting, because, like, i’ve already done all those things

left 4 dead 2 safe room graffiti:

so many straight white males in tech yearning for a tougher life are doing extreme travel or trying to build a prometheus statue on alcatraz instead of the traditional hard mode of our people,,, womanhood

fuck the rule of threes sometimes i only have two funny things to say

how much do you think “the one with the lesbian wedding” helped the queer rights movement. because like, it came out in the 90s. there had to have been people who were like “oh i get it now” or “the lesbians on FRIENDS seemed nice,” right? i wonder how many

yeah i was 100% right. i propose kaysie’s law: no matter how specific your problem. there is a trans woman autistic enough about that exact thing to help

there is no way i have seen enough friends to recognize all these episodes coming on in the dentists office i think i’ve seen like. five episodes and i swear they’re playing all five

didn’t realize they made “birthday (daughter (transgender))” hallmark cards but my mom managed to find one

now that i’m a woman i can finally pick a fight with the menswear guy

getting outed as trans because i sing along to the wrong part of hey ya

learning to count cards so i can crush my niece in candyland

i’m going to start doing this in real life

same friend: “hey can u keep on eye on this tiny kitten? i need u to sit on the couch and drink blackberry dr. pepper and occasionally play with him”

i was put on this earth to be soft and stay alive and im doing both everyday i could use more tasks but oh well

intramural softball strikes again (she instantly committed to a hard slide even thought she knew it was going to hurt):

look !!! i am but a woman !!! with all of a woman's weaknesses !!! (cute lil guys)

does the computer know something i don’t. because i am getting multiple different kinds of “try this cancer treatment” ads

Look, Ben "Kylo Ren" Solo is not a model of mental health, but he was onto something with that whole thing about "Let the past die. Kill it if you have to"

every time i am ever critical of bluesky it's because i enjoy my time here, have nicely made a home for myself, and want the place to succeed. i'm on my hands and fucking knees begging them to stop walking into rakes like please for the love of allmo just look down at the ground to avoid the rakes.

>sam’s club >bought 4 things >on way out, run into woman carrying 3 things >except for that one item, she bought the exact same food >we made eye contact and she gave me the “oops, we’re wearing the same outfit” look

girls when they get good news: yay

reece shearsmith was created in a lab to be tortured on taskmaster

can’t believe i got spoiled by the stupid google ai because i searched “bug fables [character] gender”

Tell a man to stop mansplaining to me -> he mansplains why he mansplains

attention: OCTOBER OCTOBER OCTOBER that is all

YOU - What is beauty? KLAASJE (MISS ORANJE DISCO DANCER) - “When you have the fewest deviations from the norm. I've been told it's a type of mediocrity that I possess.”

instead of like “what’s a good phone number for you” or whatever, mechanic asked me “and what’s a good last name for you?” sorry but i only have the one

>slow-pitch softball >other team just isn’t swinging at any of my pitches >my team makes some errors >throws me way off >my pitches get worse >decide to reset and force a positive attitude >suddenly can find strike zone >shut them out for second half of game >math dept team rallies to its first win

i’m genuinely so angry that positive thinking works. bullshit

everyone else in the rec league plays pickleball (tennis), i’m the only person playing pickleball (volleyball)

writing is such a sophisticated and varied art form that i hesitate to prescribe any immutable rules of writing, except for this one: no matter what you're writing, be it fiction, personal narrative, an academic paper, or a patent application, you should begin every paragraph with "Erm ..."

SILENT HILL f

“tHe lAsT jEdi sUcKed” jesus christ, diane another one escaped from the chamber where we keep ‘em strapped down watching the force awakens clockwork orange-style! shit! diane! he’s a fuckin runner! he wants to start a podcast—fuck it! get the truck. the gun too

adding this to my “why kojima is an honorary transgender” file

when my hyperfixation changes:

DEADNAMED BY ANIMAL CROSSING NEW LEAF

sorry but that’s my anniversary we’re going to have to reschedule yeah i already moved the pickleball match too

KIM KITSURAGI - Never fuck with Kim Kitsuragi.

yeah i’ve got “OCD,” O-bsessive C-ompulsive D-isorder

a lot of my disdain for fire emblem: engage would disappear if the emblems just weren’t nostalgia bait characters “blah blah blah ten thousand years ago twelve warriors beat evil dragon. they agreed to live in these rings to help fight in the future blah blah” and nothing else would need to change

Heartbreaking: Woman who Transitioned to Crush Intramural Softball Just Kind of ‘Okay’ at It

i like jujutsu kaisen modulo so far but it’s literally just boruto: •”next generation” story featuring descendants of original MCs •main duo is “i want to be like Person A but people think im like Person B” vs “i want to be like Person B but people think im like Person A” •aliens

adam:

for a while at my work there were three trans women: Lillian, Alice, and me if i had just named myself Luna we’d have had the trifecta

in math, the “-ification” suffix is reserved for transformations that have these properties: 1, objects are turned into the desired type of object while retaining certain characteristics, and 2, objects which are already the desired type remain unchanged. Therefore, proper “bimbofication” must …