you’ll know woke 2 has arrived when ppl mix up faer and fae’re the way they mix up their and they’re

managed to wake myself up from a nightmare because i forgot my dilators. so that’s interesting

1) meet trans girl 2) introduces herself as androgynous name 3) two years pass 4) she’s dating an old friend of mine 5) catch up w him for the first time in a while. ask “how’s [name?]” 6) ten seconds of confusion before he bursts out laughing 7) “um. that’s her deadname” HOW COULD U DO THIS TO ME

youth pastor voice: you know who else had a “groupchat” with his twelve closest followers?

youth pastor voice: you know who else had a “groupchat” with his twelve closest followers?

*kicking the dirt* didn't wanna be in any group chats anyway

ex catholic in the way adults in christmas movies don’t believe in christmas anymore. like i’m open to the possibility something crazy will change my mind

speaking as crazy i got issues with this. firstly: yes you should.

piss kink girl who gets FFS and is really really really too excited about the "liquid only" diet during the first couple weeks of recovery

interesting shift: just saw an AI ad that started with “we know you’re tired of hearing about AI…”

SPELLING BEE ANNOUNCER: Number 7, your word is ‘zippy.’ NUMBER 7: Use it in a sentence? SPELLING BEE ANNOUNCER: Here you go. “My penis got caught in the zippy.” NUMBER 7: Z-I-P-P-Y, zippy. SPELLING BEE ANNOUNCER: That is correct!

pass off the crazy-old ones as new and hope nobody notices

i mean. they did try to kill baby jesus in the cradle that’s a significant thing that happened

At one point, during the Jeopardy audition process, for reasons I forget, we all had to count out loud, in unison, to three. After we all said "three" successfully the producer said "they don't always get that on Wheel of Fortune."

SPELLING BEE ANNOUNCER: Number 7, your word is ‘zippy.’ NUMBER 7: Use it in a sentence? SPELLING BEE ANNOUNCER: Here you go. “My penis got caught in the zippy.” NUMBER 7: Z-I-P-P-Y, zippy. SPELLING BEE ANNOUNCER: That is correct!

what my bf does to me now that i’ve had the surgery:

WOMAN WHO JUMPS WHEN SHE HEARS ANYTHING ABOVE SPEAKING VOLUME: yay thunder :)c

sick and tired of these goddamned birds bullying me for not being able to fall asleep “tweet tweet it’s morning now dipshit tweet tweet”

“well, at least i’m not on my period” -> starts bawling whoops

this post is perfect bait to catch the stupidest “misandry” guys you’ve ever seen

“yeah” and “yah” have different meanings to me and idk when that happened

the kaysie system: rules/systems autism -> these social interactions have rules i don’t understand -> fixate on learning the rules -> seem somewhat normal

how many “i’m a serial killer who narrowly avoids getting caught” dreams can i have before i have to consider the possibility that i am in fact a serial killer who narrowly avoided getting caught

disco elysium almost never formats dialogue skillchecks like this tweet! it wouldn’t make much sense if it did because you generally _say different dialogue when you fail a check_ i’ve seen this format too many times and it’s pissing me off. so. yeah do ppl still say /rant. is that still a thing

"yes hello three gay tickets to the faggot movie for autistic children please"

in addition to restoring all the rest of scientific funding, under woke 2 we must bring the full force of the US government to bear on finally developing The Cigarette That Is Good For You.

> comes back from two weeks in europe > sleeps 11 pm to 8 am completely normal > ??? > goes to take a nap at 5 pm today > still asleep it’s like his jet lag had jet lag

when i was teaching high school in 2020, i overheard a fellow teacher complain that “i don’t understand how biden could’ve won arizona. everybody i know voted for trump!” i taught AP stats lol

i used to invite people to call me “kaysie-rose” like rose was a second firstname but they never took me up on it. which was weird

my beautiful jet-lagged boyfriend…

oh, persona 6, neat. female protagonist please thank youuu

kids who played disco elysium in middle school are now in college

THE NEW MEGA DELPHOX IS LITERALLY A CLASSIC WITCH? 87.5% OF WITCHES ARE MALE

guys i need to get married that's the only way i can shut up

number one biggest queer in mid-sized iowa town moving to portland, won’t even make top 10,000. sad

note that i didn’t say “evil new girlfriend” (new girlfriend who happens to be evil), but rather “new evil girlfriend” (most recent in a line of evil girlfriends)

breaking news: brother’s new evil girlfriend also transphobic

“Corporations don’t care about pride” Corporations don’t care about the things they sell lol. Do you think chipotle is like a guy who loves burritos

thank u europe for having pokémon tournament on twitch during kaysie insomnia hours. love u europe

i just got to masterball in pokémon champions (thank u mega froslass) anyways what do you MEAN that the last tier is just the top 300 players globally??? i’m over a hundred thousand places away??? surely that’s too few slots

feedback: “25 slides is too many for a 7 minute talk!” they simply don’t see the vision. and i made the cutoff anyways

URGENT! i had a potential roommate lined up but that fell through. if any of you know anyone who’s looking for a place in south philly, PLEASE hit me up. $800/mo + half of the utils, usually comes out to about $950ish, you’d have your own room, all that good shit. i don’t wanna lose my apartment.

omg some of the bots following me got unbanned welcome back friends!

noo don’t start thinking about FFS again haha you’re so sexy haha girl who is juuust far enough from her last difficult surgery to consider her next difficult surgery