the problem with having “rose” as my middle name is that a) i need a rose tattoo and b) i cannot settle on one for the life of me

im never puppy stressed when i do my puppy best im never puppy stressed when i do my puppy best im never puppy stressed when i do my puppy best im never puppy stressed when i do my puppy best im nev

"The left needs to give men dating advice" Take the fucking estrogen

the only reason your video game should have no health bars is if everything has 1 hp

I need to get over this but I feel so silly writing plotty stuff. like, oh, you're setting up stakes? generating conflict? first man to do so?

i’m inventing a new kind of podcast where you can smell the hosts

this is a hill some of us might literally have to die on

all i’m saying is that if your video game has an airship, it better have a cute fucking airship sprite that put-puts around on the world map

my woes about plurality aside i am thankful im all women inside this brain

Hulu thinks they've figured out the secret to attracting Gen-Z subscribers: A transgender elf woman in every show (Source: tinyurl.com/yxyctewp)

if the mta sold F/M swap merch they'd be funded for the next decade

dominos gave me the wrong order, store sends the driver back for it. “have you eaten any of it?” “no. are you still going to sell it? my roommate has the flu.” “yeah. did he cough on it? did he sneeze on it?” “uh, no” “then it’s good” then he just takes the pizza and leaves???

the first trans congresswoman was always going to be a milquetoast lib, so i’m just going to take the positives and run with them

small accounts when a big poster follows them: oh god i have to start posting good now, fuck fuck what do i do the big poster that followed them: georeg weed !

breaking: local mcdonald’s-with-tranny-employee has acquired a second tranny employee

cousin 1: doctor cousin 2: med school cousin 3: med school cousin 4: grad school (therapy) cousin 5: nurse uncle 1: doctor uncle 2: doctor aunt 1: phd neuroscience aunt 2: nurse, (now lawyer)

pardon me, are you Baron Brr, sir? that depends who’s asking oh, well, sure, sir. it’s a me, mario, i’m at your service, sir. i have been looking for you i’m getting nervous— sir, i heard your name at Freezeflame i was seeking an accelerated star of power, when i got sort of out of sorts,,,

Dude I am officially so done with speedrun leaderboard discourse

Who would win in a fight between Mary Poppins and the God of the Hebrews

ran into AI slop in the Hades wiki. is nothing sacred?

why are the exploding boos in mario galaxy are called “bomb boos.” i’m losing my mind over this. there’s so many available puns

u can take the catheter out of the girl (thank christ) but u can’t take the girl out of the catheter

first and foremost you gotta find a way to be happy for yourself but seeing you thrive melts cis hearts and incubates eggs

insurance approved my appeal? they’re paying for preop care now?? was someone just in a really good mood or something???

If Sam Altman isn’t rotting in prison by the end of the decade you know what. You know what I’ll do? I’ll start believing they actually were sexist to Elizabeth Holmes. I’ll organize my life around it

#46042F

hair is brown -> “i should dye it blonde” -> i miss my brown hair -> blonde slowly leaves hair -> hair is brown -> “i should dye it blonde” current phase of the cycle for reference:

offhandedly mentioned this to my therapist friend and they froze for about four seconds before saying “i’m not going to. okay. i’m going to stay in ‘friend mode’ here.”

Any member of faculty at Oklahoma University who stands up for trans people will be automatically suspended.

“gamers say don’t drink and drive” youtube ad is beyond parody

the problem with working at the autistic guy factory is that i can’t always say “how dare you interrupt me, you insignificant worm” with a single look

the only bad thing about slay the princess is that i can’t quite finalize the right tattoo for it

there’s a sapphic confluence happening in this culver’s rn

let’s say, hypothetically, there was another voice in my head saying mean things to me and that at first i called it ‘brain’ and then ‘Brain.’ and then one day i felt like my name, and its name, was ‘Melissa.’ but she’s MIA so i probs don’t need to talk to my therapist about it, right?

girl who loves talking to people but hates talking to people

why does megabonk’s lovely gameplay have to be trapped behind the humor of my pc gamer tm high school friend

okay. let’s say i haven’t played a pokémon game since platinum, but i’m bored on bed rest from surgery and i have a 3ds and a switch. if i were to get one (1!) non-remake pokémon game. which one should it be? are the legends games good? should i just play platinum again? am i too old for pokermons

i hate when someone makes a perfect joke on here and i have to look at it. please STOP being funnier than me, thank you!

sorry i went to watch tombstone and now my timeline is full of the game awards. i think we should all be talking about tombstone starring kurt russell and val kilmer instead

huge news: a shadowy swordmaster has carried a lone infant from a burning temple

had to send @back-to-basil.bsky.social this screenshot of the mcdonald’s app so they could remember how to successfully order “McChickie”

I still think about how cool it is that localized trans vivian is real now

‘cis women’? you mean sheFABs?

10-year-old me about to have his mind blown:

no amount of pamphlets could have prepared me for how boring dilating is

types of ads that should be allowed: 1: “this product exists” 2: “this product is on sale”

catheter is like. what if you had a tail. but it sucked

i'm mister gay christmas i'm mister woke