Got my pink pineapple today 🍍

Today, yes. Now this weekend…ABSOLUTELY!

I posted this especially for @dmvjohndoe.bsky.social. I know how he feels about that crease 😝

WHERE ALL MY SCAMMIN’ ASS NIGGAS AT!!!

I need Teyana to do a tour for Escape Room. She is one of the best tours I’ve been to, hands down!

Happy HumpDay! Come take a bite 🫦

Me at the gym:

Midday snacky snack

So as of right now, it doesn’t seem like anything dire that came up, but I’m still assed out. I’m so pissed right now.

Had a barber appointment set for Thursday. That has been cancelled. I like my barber, but I think this will be the third strike for me. I’ll forgive it if this is due to something dire, but if not, it’s gonna be a chop for me

It’d be great to just make their favorite food of all time turn against them

I really wanna call this lady a fucking cunt. I can’t stand adults that think it’s ok to talk to adults any kind of way just because they can get away with it. I promise they would never have that energy in person

I have to constantly remind myself that I need a job to keep up with my lifestyle because the things I be wanting to say…

We back

Social media’s illusion of unlimited choices is the reason most of us are single AND why a lot of these relationships are “open”

Had the tits out this weekend

I love when I put 2 and 2 together

Who all coming to DC for Pride?

Another successful leg day on this GVT plan

I know this nigga be playing in our faces, but imma just see how this all plays out

I have done the barest of minimums today and I’m still over it. Get me out of here

Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Violet

I need a break from the unseasoned mayonnaise ppl

If you’re being a pain in someone’s ass, consider not doing that. Consider leaving that person the fuck alone.

Now wait a minute. That was some pretty meat if I do say so myself

Tems put crack in this shit because the hold this song has had on me for weeks is insane

I’m just now remembering another component of last night’s nightmare. Yikes. I need some R&R ASAP

Anyway, new Mya just dropped!

Had a nightmare of sorts and overslept this morning

Foreskin

The phrase “the customer is always right…” is only the first part of that phrase. The rest is “in manners of taste”. The thing is, the customer is often wrong and I wish we could acknowledge that

If there’s anything I know for sure, it’s that those people just be saying anything

See also: Icing

I hate when places put raw sugar crystals on top of pastries. If you eat those, I’m willing to bet you have at least two silver teeth in your mouth

I be playing out some crazy scenarios in my head

I didn’t have a fizz-free Celsius in my fridge so I’m doing my best trying to drink this carbonated shit. It is way too early for carbonation

QTP with the Pokémon that runs your account.

Trina really raised me

I think we Humped today more than any other Hump Day. The Humps was Humpin!!!!

I hate that we have to use AI at work

Don’t be the person to reply-all when hundreds to thousands of other employees are on the thread. Don’t be the person to reply-all when hundreds to thousands of other employees are on the thread. Don’t be the person to reply-all when hundreds to thousands of other employees are on the thread.

Do not invite people who wear Meta Glasses to the function. 🙄

Just a reminder that I give exceptional hand jobs. Eye-rolling even

I have a thought I’m trying to flesh out a bit about mental health, but I need to let it simmer a bit more

Minding my single black ass business chile

Humps for your day

I be naked as hell in the locker room

Meth. It’d at least make for some fun seggs and I feel like it’s easier to get over that addiction

My For You tab right now