Javed
@javed.bsky.social
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Aspiring stay at home himbo. Elsewhere known as PastTenseOfJav He/Him.
weekend wrapup
3 months ago
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Wellington. For one night only. We’re bringing our infamous music quiz back to San Fran. This Tuesday. 7:30pm. Register a team with the link below:
bit.ly/Excellent-Mu...
3 months ago
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just got woken up by this national emergency alert
6 months ago
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“Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should”
8 months ago
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One day you’re hip and down with it, the next it’s a Friday night and you’re pulling a freshly baked focaccia out of the oven and topping it with homemade pesto because you had quote “too much basil in your herb garden”
8 months ago
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Javed
Jason, ex Inferis
11 months ago
I bet the first time a pirate said “Ahoy there,” the mateys went berserk
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Yearning for the days when AI stood for Allen Iverson
about 1 year ago
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Ever since I was young I knew I wanted to transform unstructured data into actionable business insights
about 1 year ago
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no one told me how much harder it is to hop out of bed and turn your swag on when you’re 31
about 1 year ago
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Daniel Vernon
over 1 year ago
Hello! I’m excited to announce I’m releasing a new book! Slices of Heaven: Uniquely Kiwi Comics about Aotearoa is a collection of warm and witty comics about the DNA of Aotearoa, celebrating our quirks, institutions, identity, and shared experiences!
danielvernon.bigcartel.com/product/slic...
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Tze Ming Mok 莫志明
about 1 year ago
Locked down my Twitter again just for safekeeping while I ignore it again forever except when checking in occasionally on remaining Asian human rights peeps, and Javed still providing truths about getting White Girl Wasted.
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Cornhole should be an Olympic sport
about 2 years ago
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Javed
Ancient Queer Bickerings
about 2 years ago
There's nothing like getting a 2000s euro dance song stuck in your head to make you realise how accurate Planet of the Bass was in its nonsense.
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Fucking Bitch Foxy
about 2 years ago
Remember the time n the Koru Lounge when Jacinda handed Javed a bottle opener & he Tweeted what a g & it went viral & the Herald did a story then Nats were all how can we make this about us? & Judith & Simeon both posted pics holding bottle openers? We never talk about how perfect an analogy that is
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There should be a drug that makes me feel the same way I do when the opening riff of Man! I Feel like a Woman hits
about 2 years ago
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Hayley
about 2 years ago
Really enjoying this headline from the Washington Post which implies the majority of New Zealanders are blasting Celine Dion until 3am and only some of us are unhappy about it.
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Never beating the day drinking allegations
about 2 years ago
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Drop a pic of your Friday night
about 2 years ago
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The (provisional) 54th Parliament of New Zealand represented as shots
over 2 years ago
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Broooo imagine hard launching ya new boo at your concession speech
over 2 years ago
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Win or lose, we’re on the booze
over 2 years ago
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There is nothing legally stopping you from having predrinks before you vote
over 2 years ago
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Javed
elvira depressedly 🌙
over 2 years ago
Happy Friday the 13th to all the final girls ✨🌙🌷
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Javed
Megapope 🇵🇸
over 2 years ago
Turns out my sexual orientation is Jack Tame completely eviscerating David Seymour
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no one in recorded history has ever gone as hard as celine dion did in it’s all coming back to me now
over 2 years ago
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White women just don’t write em like they used to
over 2 years ago
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Just a friendly reminder that it’s time to start predrinking for the weekend
over 2 years ago
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Before you dm me, just know I’m built like this
over 2 years ago
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I am once again posting holiday throwbacks instead of working
over 2 years ago
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Javed
Daniel Vernon
over 2 years ago
STOP MAKING EXCUSES AND GO OUT FOR 12-16 JUGS OF SNAGRIA WITH YOUR HOTTEST FRIEND
@javed.bsky.social
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STOP MAKING EXCUSES, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND GO HAVE 12-16 JUGS OF SANGRIA WITH YOUR HOTTEST FRIEND
@yeehawtheboys.bsky.social
over 2 years ago
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Due to foreseen circumstances I will be having a beer tonight
over 2 years ago
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Hannah
over 2 years ago
If you’re asked, “What’s your biggest weakness” in a job interview, just be honest and say carbs.
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repeating old tweets on here is one thing, but once I pull out my 2016 thirst traps it’s all over for you hoes
over 2 years ago
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Javed
Granite Man
over 2 years ago
Yes I know them, we went to Twitter together.
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If the beatles were as good as everyone says they were, why aren’t they on the Shrek 2 soundtrack?
over 2 years ago
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accidentally had 10 beers on a school night ama
over 2 years ago
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Dior Sauvage is just Lynx Africa for finance bros.
over 2 years ago
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Javed
KIMBOT 2026💕✨
over 2 years ago
hot girl summer is over it is now fall out boy.
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Brendel
over 2 years ago
I suppose the main difference between me and Kenny Rogers is that if I was on a train with a guy who asked me for booze, said he had a lot of gambling experience and then immediately died, my mind wouldn’t have immediately gone to “I must live my life following this man’s wise words”
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why am do i spend 8 hours in front of google sheets when i could simply be drinking beers in nature
over 2 years ago
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It should be illegal to work when i just want to drink beers and listen to Kelly clarkson
over 2 years ago
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