Did you say salted caramel potato chips?? You will throw them directly in a river right now, thank you.

Poor attention to detail, and that's on me. #accountability

It's his face while being dragged off that does it for me

Snooty ass back-of-airplane-seat libraries

Sub-par prosecution from DOJ

20th inning if you hit 2 foul balls the catcher gets to kiss you

A Coors Light even

17th inning you gotta drink the grossest beer from the back of the fridge. A cucumber stout. A watermelon abomination.

Huge week for the "shutdown the government in order to keep the pedophiles' secrets safe and let Biff demolish the White House" constituency

Having sex in your parents' MedBed and it keeps trying to cure you of Typhoid fever

Watch on Fox in 15 mins, West Coast

Was thrilled to play a character in the season premiere of The Simpsons airing tonight! Written by the great @jessicajconrad❤️!

Shocked that this is what the Ticketmaster CEO looks like

Demanding they write "Marco Rubio has strong muscles" on my Starbucks cup and calling the F.B.I. if they won't

Could move it to North Korea, for example

AP-NORC poll | 9/11-9/15 President Trump approval Disapprove 60% (+7) Approve 39% (-6) (shift since last poll) apnorc.org/projects/pes...

"Next thing you know they're gonna change the name to ANYONE Barrel!!!"

See guys, Sean Duffy was right to be afraid of the Subway

They're listening in on your dumps, kids

"And we got big, beautiful Dean Cain to join ICE. The Superman! They call him the Superman. And we've gone out to James Woods to be the guy who pulls the lever for the electric chair.."

It begins. They're going with "actually Ghislaine is innocent for some reason"

It's weird that sex offender Ghislaine Maxwell has just suddenly been designated as "not a sex offender" by the Bureau of Prisons.

I keep reading it as Email Bove

He's gonna pardon the Coldplay kiss-cam couple

The #1 way to explain America working properly is by saying “comedians can make fun of he President on TV.” A good way to explain fascism is “the President forces companies to fire those comedians as a condition of allowing them to conduct business.”

Grunge?????? These clowns were post-post-grunge weight room rock

#NBA BlueSky, any good basketball docs/doc series recommends (that I haven't already seen)?

Do you guys think we'll get an apology from grok?

Limp as fuck. To paraphrase an L.A. band, 'they're desperate. Get used to it'

"The fact that so many of these old guys got their dicks stuck in the vacuum cleaner feels like all the evidence you need that this was....good vacuuming or something."

Elite journalists wriggle & wriggle & try & try but they can not escape the fundamental dilemma: journalism is, by its nature, supposed to be on the side of accuracy, against lies & liars, but the GOP is lies & liars top to bottom. And for reasons of power & access, journalism can not say so.

“His GPA did not warrant it, his SAT scores did not warrant it. We thought for sure, there was no way this was going to happen. Then, lo and behold, Jared was accepted.” More on how the rich buy their children’s way into elite universities with massive, tax-deductible donations (published 2016):

Congratulations, the universe sent you this dog because you have been chosen. Joy awaits. 13/10

It's bad that the terrible shitty guy from Oklahoma was allowed to steal the Supersonics from Seattle.

I have decided to award the 2025 NBA title to the Indiana Pacers. Don't care what happens in game 7. OKC has no offense, they're allowed to foul non-stop & not get called for it at home. Pacers are the most fun team to watch in the sport. They have won the title. My decision is final. #NBA

Especially if you're on the fence about it, protest today. Fascism is isolating and lonely. Its very goal is to make you feel like you're the only person unwilling to accept a cult of personality. On days like today you fully realize there are more of us than there are them. You will feel better.

Legler giving me Gary Numan vibes

Pastadena. Great name for an Italian place. Could be located in Pasadena, CA

Nice sequencing, Google news

"In the name of Celozzi, Ettleson, and the holy spirit ..."

Reanimated corpse of Nixon on 2024 reboot of Laugh-In: "Hawk it tuah me?"

Was thrilled to do this live read of Star Wars last month with this unbelievable cast! Now you can check it out on YouTube!

A reminder that if the government can send migrants to a prison camp without any due process, it can send U.S. citizens there, too. I know because this happened to me and my family in 1942.

Gotta be "Food", right?

Had a goddang blast doing @bibbymoynihan.bsky.social podcast! Check it out!

Excited to do this show with this amazing cast on Saturday. Live stream tix available!

Mahomes with bigtime Drake energy tonight

Convo with my friend from Hungary tonight who left after Orban’s election. She said “your head will spin with all the wild stuff they try to pull, new things every day, but don’t take your eyes off the money. It’s all about the money, and what they’re stealing, and for whom.”

NEWS Hawaii Senator Brian Schatz says he’s putting a blanket hold on all of President Trump’s State Department nominees until USAID is back up and running.

Wait, does Reinsdorf secretly own the Mavs too?