Cigarettes in France

Not a wild take I don't think, but it should about a dracula who surfs. Call it Surf Dracula or something

I starting to think Trump is autistic with how fixated his mind gets on certain things

When asked for a statement, the captain said "Soory."

Hey, maybe he won't turn 80!

I would burn so many donuts into that lawn my god that lawn is made for four-wheelers with way too much horsepower

Take your boomers to the boomer movie about the boomer social boomer media boomer

Reading through the replies to find one European miffed because "but we have rivers in Europe" and no doubt, yeah, you do, but y'all don't have beer shitty enough to be using your rivers properly

Well so far my containment-breaking cinnamon roll skeet only had one assbutt criticize the quality of the rolls my 15-year-old kid made, but since the internet gonna internet, sure as shit they felt a need to weigh in on something that wasn't even for them in the first place

I was telling my 15-yo last week how much I was craving a good bakery cinnamon roll, and this is what I came home to just now 😍

What are we even doing here

After watching Mandalorian and Grogu for the 12th time, I overheard a bunch of teens talking about how much more they'd have liked the movie if Neel was in it. Are you listening @abigaildisney.bsky.social

The hummus in a can I got at the halal market was legit once I mixed in some olive oil.

I'm wondering if we get old and die not because our bodies and brains wear out but because the world has changed too much in our lifetimes to no longer be a comforting place

Austin is such a disappointment to me every time I go there anymore. A town that 20-30 years ago was populated by hippies and punks and is now overrun by dudes who drive cybertrucks. What a town that once was.

Every time I'm forced to shop at a Texas Walmart outside of Houston, and I buy peppers there, they've been insanely hot, which makes sense for a town like Del Rio, but is an absolute headscratcher for a place like whitey whitesville Fredericksburg. And why are Houston Walmart's peppers so bland??

2 Pac 2 be 4 gotten

They're just straight up using this in profile pictures now. And it may not surprise you to learn that this comment was under an anime trailer.

Why can't every morning be like this one?

He's got those baby Forrest Gump leg braces on account of his knocked knees

The Salt Lick gave us our order for free tonight and that was a pretty fucking cool thing to happen, especially given the price of brisket these days

Put Bruce in charge of messaging for everything

But enough about my ex-wife

Everybody's been saying this

Some of y'all are arguing about hotdogs and some of y'all are arguing about time zones and I'm going to create a central theory that'll combine both of these conversations into one larger and weirder conversation

As always, republicans kneecapping public schools to get more people to enroll in charters.

"What's that thing growing on him?" "Do you smell that too?" "Honestly, how long does he really have?" "Can we speed that up in any way?"

Happy pride month

Wildest one two punch in a church choir? Maybe Old Rugged Cross *then* the Thong Song

HOT TAKE: Any social media post starting with the word "this" is going to be annoying. Example: "This!" "This is the way." "THIS motherfucker..." "This Orange Buffoon..." "THIS female..."

My goal of buying one cd per week has quickly turned into an average of 5 cds per week

I wouldn't tell them anything. I would ask them, "What is music to you?" and then I would sit my ass down and listen

"roflcopter"

You make webcomics? So like Spider-Man?

Megan is a name with far too many correct spelling variations

We watched a play last night (Airline Highway) that has me thinking about another short trip to New Orleans so obviously I'm listening to the preservation hall band instead of doing anything else at all

Live action Shrek starring Tom Hardy

Putting my kid on a plane away from home to nyc/dc, and it is easier to to send her this year (than last summer's germany trip), but I guess it'll never be something I'm totally ok with. Btw, this is a free trip that she earned through the school district through hard work, which imo is pretty cool

My little small business hit a sales number for the month of May that I thought would take me several more months to reach. So, some things are going well.

You know who didn't drop out of Trump's music festival??

Told my gf after we met Talarico the wingnuts would pounce on the fact that he's a little guy, but tbh the spearhead of this masculinity attack being Stephen Miller is just too fucking stupid. That guy looks like he lived inside his high school locker! And besides, he's half bat!

Ok cmon no

If i were to give Dems free advice the simple answer to any question about "gender" is "shut the fuck up"

Colin Allred established himself as a politically mercurial, occasionally perplexing figure in Texas Democratic politics, dutifully moving to the right when the consultant class had deemed it necessary.

Me: what’s wrong honey? why are you crying? My toddler: I don’t want Adam Driver to get old. From the mouth of babes.

I see the Spider-Noir is also available in color, and the only way that seems like it would make sense is if it resembled those old Ted Turner colorizations.

This definitely makes me a heretic, but I don't think Houston in late July is all that it's cracked up to be. Imho it's too hot imho imho

People have sex with the intention of having babies?

Thunderbolt Transmission - Houston, TX. It's not that it was creative, they just ran the same ad for 30 years