some world tour, won't even place jersey

Should I buy tickets for Mini Kiss?

Plz help. Which wires do I need to connect to each other to give my RING doorbell power?

the best pasta is mac and cheese shells

i'm just a boy standing in front of a girl asking her if i can get my couscous on

What names do you immediately associate with one person/character? Ad*lf Grover Homer Beyonce Kermit

I just heard myself on a saved zoom recording and I sound like that?!

Taking my first T break in like ten years and popping xanax like they're fucking tic tacs.

I put "Spooky Scary Skeletons" on for Balatro the other day and she said she didn't want to hear that song, she wanted to listen to some cool Halloween music. I put on the Monster Mash and that qualified.

*wakes up, remembers what the world is like* Looks like I picked a bad day to start a T break

You’re trying to tell me Butthole Surfers “Dracula from Houston” did NOT sweep the Grammys that year?

Out of the three things I’m thinking a Jerk Hut would be, only one doesn’t sound appealing.

Not Penny’s Boat

in the good timeline, 1999 saw the release of a mango movie directed by steven brill

"alice in whoonterlands" - snl character mango talking about the show alice in borderland

there is absolutely nothing you can say after "now i'm not racist here, but..." without also being racist

I, ah, for one, think we can file this under "who gives a shit"

i'm sorry, the senate election in maine isn't until NEXT YEAR? jfc what are we doing?

i must subconsciously fucking hate my cuticles, what with the way i treat them and all

I, uh, actually do like the idea of Milhouse having two spaghetti meals in one day.

WHY DO PEOPLE AT WORK KEEP THINKING I AM A GOOD TRAINER?

stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you joy

rube bader goldberg machine

chip chop chip?

just popped part of my lower back and felt it in my groin

Everyone should need to retake their road test when they get their license renewed.

My town and the next town over scheduled their community days on the same day. Seems like a gigantic miscommunication.

God: Any other requests? Angel: Ooh! Do a cow in sunglasses, holding a cigarette! God: No problem.

I don’t remember if this ever made it onto the show, but there was one script (or maybe it was in the show bible) for CB!B! where Scott was doing his take on Jay Leno’s “Jaywalking” and he called it “Jayscotting”

I think there are probably only four or five real “leading men” in Hollywood and all others are character actors in leading men’s bodies. (not an insult!)

my wife got my some ikea trofasts so I can store my dolls properly 🤗

Instead of spending no $40 on DoorDash I just made a box of mac and cheese

Project Inferno. Jfc I love this movie.

what if there was a kinda alcohol you could drink all the time, any time of day, without everyone thinking you're a piece of shit? it's called Jim's Juice, i'm Jim, i invented it, i'm fucked the hell up right now, and (winks at juice box full of fermented kratom tea) you probably didn't even notice,

The New York Metropolitans The New York Netropolitans The New York Jetropolitans

Emerson, Lake, and Emerson

Guy who every morning shits after he showers, never before.

Monsieur la Main

Fight or Flight, it’s like Bullet Train, but good! (I liked Bullet Train) (Fight or Flight is just really really good)

Fight or Flight, it’s like Bullet Train in the air!

but ronald trained bill

"So, you're Tony Roiland's brother"

"Amish Paradise."

they really just said "what would the funniest possible fucking thing to happen rn?" when making the naked gun

yo gambit was real funny in deadpool

anyone else got any new dolls they wanna show off?

will dc ko scratch the itch that countdown arena couldn't quite get?

therapist was telling me about this married r/d couple and how you can look past political views in a marriage (not us, wife and i are lefty) and see the person. i told her i thought that was wild cuz the man must not view his wife as a person

she mandella my effect until rob van winkle alive