Lead rhymes with Read but also Lead rhymes with Read.

This is SHOCKING, what is supposed to pass for justice anymore

Muttering "No thanks to Congress" every time I complete a chore around the house

I see we are now to the "no, you can't fly" part of making the USA great once more.

Right about now, the honk shoo brother

Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time

lol

how about Occupy Woke Street, is that anything?

nicknaming my fists jimmy john and jersey mike

This is absolutely playing in my head in the voice of Orson Welles.

Absolutely wild that the platform of firing a bunch of people and taking away their food has backfired.

As a proud Buffalonian at heart I will hate whoever the mayor of NYC is just because.

Maybe a movie called Tron should feature the character named Tron in a leading role??

crazy how one guy ruined the name Dracula

Telling every trick or treater "Eyyyy, six seven am I right! 😃"

(Looks at Facebook for 2 minutes) yeah this makes sense actually

I'll watch just about anything with a Skarsgård in it.

Replaying Ocarina of Time and I feel like Ganondorf would use more slurs.

If they don't christen this ballroom with a livestreamed game of Boar On The Floor what are we even doing

(Pastor Voice) Kids these days are all talking about Gen AI when they should be talking about Genesis, Am I right?

A few years ago I thought about getting a Nordic tattoo, 2 wolves chasing the sun and the moon, and then I did 5 minutes of searching and saw it was big in the white supremacist community and I said nah, I'm good. So I'm hearing I should run for senate.

The only reason I even enjoy fantasy football is writing the epitaph for when I'm eliminated from the guillotine league

If a bunch of kids shout "six seven" at you I think the best response is probably "😃 eight 👏 nine 👏 yay! 😃"

Might fuck around and help the Gorons by serenading Darunia with the song of my people

Caramel eyes caramelize caramel lies.

This photo accompanying a news story about the heist at the Louvre is perfection.

Crazy how many bombs are just laying around in Hyrule at any given moment.

Next time somebody asks me what Bluesky is like, I'll send them this

Why would the Buffalo Bills do this to me, personally??

Bills

Toiletries. Toilet trees.

Shadows of the Empire remaster WHEN

If I knew the Starz show Spartacus was just "Sam Raimi does 300" I would have watched it a long time ago

I diced a red bell pepper and threw some seeds in a pot as a joke and now I've got responsibility.

(menacingly) Everybody have fun tonight! (threateningly) Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

When my buddy and I eat too many chips

That's me in the corner. That's me I'm the wife. guy talking about my wife.

I say this as someone who LOVES Sam Raimi and LOVES Spider-Man and LOVES Sam Raimi's Spider-Man but what the fuck were Fox and Marvel doing in the late 90's when they said let's trust Sam Raimi with a big budget Spider-Man movie

Me buying the cheapest plane tickets: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me getting the worst seat: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

Bills In Bisarray?

Doing lines of Old Bay on a mirror

I wonder if Jeremy Strong ever gets called a "Kendall Roy lookin mf"

Every "it's autumn!" couple looks like this

(looking up from my phone for the first time in 3 hours and taking a huge breath like I was scuba diving that whole time) guys I think social media is not very healthy

Might curl up and read a few chapters of Berserk to inject some positivity into my day

Chiavettas and chill

Jimmel Kimmel.

Chuck Schumer leading the Free Folk:

Send not to ask For whom the Wampa stomps… It stomps for thee.