last christmas i gave you paul blart but the very next day he rode a segway

you think about scrooge and he basically gave cratchit reasonably stable long term employment and paid him more or less enough to raise a family on a single income and he's still a fucking villain. today's billionaires are like 10x worse

The moral of this movie is if you feel depressed and anxious you should focus on how unbelievably important you are and how everything would fall apart if you weren't there.

The best character in It's A Wonderful Life is the wife guy who hits Jimmy Stewart for saying mean things to his wife.

Muppet. Family. Christmas.

The MCU moving on from Chris Evans and RDJ in 2019 and bringing them back in 2026 is very funny

Watching the first 3/4 of the new Knives Out movie with my visiting Catholic (and very nice and awesome) parents at Christmas time: 😬😬😬 The last 1/4 actually being a GREAT message for the holiday season: 😤😭🤗

Is Yarn not the absolute worst excuse for a meme sharing site? Oh here's something that shows as a gif when you search for it but it's a vid you can't download or embed lol go fuck yourself.

Jake Paul has 1 broken jaw and 92 million money. Why can't he have 92 million broken jaw and 1 money?

instead of mandatory military service, everyone should be forced to work in customer service

I don’t care what anyone says, Daniel Craig solving crimes as foghorn leghorn is way better than any Bond movie ever

I love making pan sauces. Love deglazing stainless steel and scraping fond with a wooden spoon. Every time we make dinner and I get to make a pan sauce my wife claps and says "You love making pan sauces!" and she's correct.

Things are going great over at X, The Everything App

(Judas Priest Voice) Walkin the dog, walkin the dog Walkin the dog, walkin the dog

I'm sorry but what the hell is this?

I legit hoot and holler and lose my shit when a Jeopardy! contestant makes it a true Daily Double

Every single day checking the news for one particular headline.

It's pretty simple, once Elon Musk's grimy fingerprints are on something I will never knowingly use it, purchase it, or promote it again.

Go Bills

Well it felt good to see the Bills beat the Pats for a couple of years there

Proving my competency with the Plagiarism Machine

Explaining why this is very funny

We're doing speed limit discourse? Today? On this, National Ice Cream Day? This is how we're spending Ice Cream Day??

Muttering "No thanks to Congress" every time I complete a chore around the house

Commercials be like Tis the season for great savings We have all the best in store So come on down you'll be raving About our 0% markdown red tag event only at participating locations we implore!

(Dire Straits voice) Creamer for coffee and milk for tea

This is not funny, grifters only go to Fallon when they are in distress

Wear a tie on TV you goddamn bozo.

Bills by a billion

It's one thing when Tarantino is critical of an overall movie, or directing, or style, or any of the things he's really known for (like it or hate it) But for him to try to dunk on Dano as an actor... does anyone who loves Tarantino films say oh my god the acting is amazing???

Isn't there anyone who knows what Krampus is all about?

Netflix bought WB... 😈 I now activate my trap card: IP Reversion Clause. By ancient contract law, please direct all licensing questions about Pinky & the Brain to me

has anyone else noticed that food tasted better in the past? it was mushy and easy to eat. and the spoon would come at you like an airplane

I'm pretty sure Tarantino just really wanted to be in There Will Be Blood and is still pissed at Dano

Throwing on a Christmas movie

“Jinglehorse” is such a great racial slur for a reindeer.

Ringo Next

Every ai booster believes that college is about doing homework. They think there’s a homework goblin that pays the colleges for their homework. Their dream is that they can have a machine that you can pay $75,000 to and receive a college degree from in four years.

Physical: Asia is so awesome

I will now defend myself by paraphrasing jack nicholson in that scene from a few good men, who is the hero of that movie btw

News headlines in 2028 will be like P*lice Arr*st Twelve S*spects For P*ssession Of G*ns At The Airp*rt

Every character in The Witcher is named Yarglebarg of Bardeldorf

4 Claws, hell yeah

I'm finally watching "Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning" and oh boy this movie is a fucking MESS 🪅

I would become the heavyweight champion of the world.

To thine own self please be fr

Jim Cornette legit offered 50 grand to the first reporter to lose it and go off on this guy and I'm thinking we might just see it happen soon.