genuinely starting to wonder if i just don’t know what ceasefire means

i guess the first symptom of hantavirus is being as sociable as possible bc what are these people doing

the pedophile regime likes tan teens i guess

cooking my meal over a fire and throwing pieces of it to my dogs gives me some ancient déjà vu

big reason we are where we are is the national media treating Not Understanding The Subject as an equal opinion to Expert In Subject

he used specially trained dogs to sniff out invasive fish species in the rivers on his montana property. truly a visionary.

was getting annoyed at a squirrel eating all my birdseed and then she was dangling upside down and i saw squirrel teats for the first time (??) and was like ma’am here take more god knows you need it

i’d run head-injury tests on the liberty biberty guy if i encountered him in the wild and he couldn’t repeat two words back to me. then i’d probably suggest he go to the ER just to be safe. i wouldn’t, however, take his advice on insurance.

this was glaringly obvious to anyone who doesn’t exist in the beltway

It's enough to make you crazy to watch our entire media-political apparatus ridicule all left of center opinion in the leadup to every major crisis in the last 30 years only to then shrug about how no one could've seen it coming

ok but my bet is he’s had three in the last year at least, because they’re testing his progressive dementia

the t-shirt color blocking for the san antonio crowd is so good

thinking back on childhood and wondering why i and we were getting in trouble for things we had no control over, like being late. i’m 7! i can’t drive! how is this my fault? what were the adults on, my god.

honestly old guys falling for a Yes You’re So Smart And Right machine is one of the ways i assumed the world could end

(I make a "mouth" with the side of my hand and draw little eyes above it) Richard Dawkins: hmmmm (I put lipstick around the "mouth") Richard Dawkins, suavely: well hello

what’s extra funny is they think their hired security won’t just snap their necks once the nukes fly

jane eyre but the wife isn’t in the attic she’s in the dollhouse

It's like 10,000 spoons When all you need is a knife It's like meeting the man of your dreams Then meeting his miniature wife

“The name of [an ICE] officer accused of strangling a man in Fitchburg during an immigration arrest has been revealed in court, despite the federal government’s attempts to keep his identity a secret. The officer’s name is David Jackson, an acting supervisory detention and deportation officer.”

fyi, last fall i went to berlin and hitler’s bunker where he killed himself is a parking lot and there’s a boba shop nearby and i got a drink and it was refreshing and hitler was still dead and his bunker was no longer a bunker, just a parking lot for people to laugh at with their drinks.

watching the nba playoffs and i keep being warned of swollen taints as a side effect in Rx commercials

i love the ritual of lighting something on fire and standing around while it burns as much as the next guy but i hated how bad everything i smelled before the indoor ban

armed, grown men stalking daycares and we’re supposed go about our day like that’s ok

corn, green beans, squash, horseradish, onions, and potatoes sprouting in my garden, admiring them with my hands on my hips like the mf jolly green giant

Please lord take all of Megan Thee Stallion’s pain and give it to Drake

you are creating a culture of violence against us by accurately reporting on the culture of violence we're gleefully inflicting on others

It's a shame that "defend your culture" always means "hate strangers different from you" and never "enact anti-pollution laws so that you can go fishing with your grandkids the way your grandpa taught you."

the government and the beltway media can’t believe that the public, all of whom have been generously given thoughts and prayers after their daily shootings, don’t care more about a “shooting” where no one got shot but it made them scared

it is objectively funny and also telling that his cri de coeur went from “build the wall!” to “build a ballroom!”

A President with his lowest approval ratings ever attends an annual high profile dinner he has boycotted for years where an assassination attempt happens. He is prepared to deliver press comments 30 minutes after the shooting where he speaks of uniting the country. Hmmmm....

It's jarring to see ICE executing American citizens in our streets for exercising their free speech rights. It's jarring to see innocent people being kidnapped and sent to gulags in El Salvador. It's jarring to see children being traumatized in concentration camps.

we already have socialism in this country! it’s for the corporations and the wealthy! they only treat it like a boogeyman when it benefits normal people.

About last night’s scrambling from gun fire at White House reporters dinner .. Rep Jamie Raskin (D-MD) makes a critical point on CNN: “This is happening in schools across the country.. the kids have no resources to process their trauma”

DC reporters exist in the same bubble as DC politicians. they treat it all like a game, while the rest of us live in the real world.

why did the secret service move vance before trump lololol

i worry for the neurotypicals sometimes, i worry they have goldfish memories and can’t see patterns; it’s exhausting for the rest of us who can.

we’re going to see sooooo many I Was There pearl-clutching bullshit pieces i already can’t stand it

Every one of the fake-ass journalists in that room are going to be so annoying about this for a long time. Truly.

so he’s doing another fake assassination, this time to get a ballroom? ok dramatic.

The amount of misinformation we’re getting about an incident that just occurred in front of 1,500 news reporters is truly the metaphor of our generation.

oh my god get this drama queen off my screen they’re interrupting the playoffs for this?

every few months, americans are asked to resume their banquet and pretend a shooting didn't just happen

sorry to the humongous bumblebee sneakily napping in the handle of my shovel, i didn’t mean to hit a big rock while digging, you were mad and i get it, probably a terrible way to wake up.

got hit with such a wave of homesickness for montana today it actually took my breath away for a second

of course trump wasn’t involved in anything detail-oriented on iran attacks, they don’t even give that moron full internet access

insurance companies are not healthcare companies, their ceos are not healthcare ceos. they are healthcare-denying companies. they are healthcare-denying ceos. they are antisocial, anti-human.

letting her know i feel bloated

we have finally figured out what it is that conservatives conserve! it’s pedophilia.

our greatest ally

the inability to understand science shouldn’t become policy.