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Scorpio: Today your vast porn collection will go down in history as the world's most pervy and disturbing, yet somehow not illegal.

There should be a supernatural drama set in Texarkana called Tex Arcana.

Pretty pie (apple, from yesterday's haul)

I’m a big believer that when someone reacts with appropriate horror to the actions of our government, the productive response is not “WOW MUST BE NICE NOT TO HAVE NOTICED BEFORE THIS MOMENT YOU FUCKING CHILD”

Business cards I grabbed yesterday: -a baker whose only contact info on it was her phone number. In this day and age. She was, I estimate, in her 30s. -a custom graphics person with the most generic-looking blue geometric triangles background on her business cards (she was selling 3D printed stuff.

Cute bat alert!

Phrases that make me sad: "I make a dry mead."

So what's this I hear about a comedy festival in R'lyeh? 🤨

This is doing Clancy Brown a little bit dirty but discovering Mr Krabs is The Kurgan is a wonderful moment for everyone

Yeah, they do Pick-Your-Own. You can take as many apples as you want for “As much as ye dare wager the Wood.” It’s a little more work but it’s cheaper than the farmer’s market

Oh, your apple orchard does a hayride? That’s cool. We go to one that doesn’t have a name and features ancient trees planted deep in the woods by a Louisiana Purchase-era drunk. They have a series of progressively more depressing barn cats and an open barrel labeled “Cyder?” It’s not on Google

If a web form asks for a zip code it should at least take a stab at auto-populating the city and state. I understand there are edge cases but those could be corrected manually by the 0.01% for which they apply instead of annoying everybody across the board.

You laugh, but my husband once worked with a guy who would buy hollow gelatin capsules (I've seen them for sale at natural groceries) and fill them with his own herb blends.

We have an amanita ☠️🍄

Two items on the seasonal fun list checked! ✅ Pick apples ✅ Eat an apple cider donut ⬜ Bake something with apples ⬜ Carve a pumpkin ⬜ Decorate the house for fall/Halloween ⬜ Bake something with pumpkin ⬜ Wander a corn maze ⬜ Dress up in a Halloween costume ⬜ Take a selfie with candy corn fangs

Hubs and I just watched the first episode of Pantheon and 🤯😯

Gonna have to teach everyone from scratch that the president isn't your boss, he's your employee

Finished reading Nemesis Games! Still just at the start of Cthulhu 2000. I'm trying to seed in non-Expanse stuff between volumes so I'm going to read Let Me In Your Window before moving on to Babylon's Ashes (I doubt the former will take me long to devour).

I actually want people to express moral shock at horrible shocking things. I don’t think that’s naive, I think that’s a sign their heart still works

The only way I've ever successfully "played hard to get" is with Cook's Illustrated to get a deal for 12 months for $12 every few years. I let my subscription lapse until their offer drops.

This has to be one of the hottest Septembers on record. Or most consistently warm anyway. I know, in the winter we'll miss it but I like fall to feel like fall.

People are afraid of getting older, I'm afraid of not getting older. I'm trying to get as old as possible.

i truly hate that the language of business has come to define all government functions. like "oh the mail has to make enough money to justify its existence" fuck you its a public service

Neat!

Can he be next? Y'all know what I mean, I don't have to say it.

I thought maybe I'd do a full work day of writing one of these days but I hand wrote one scene and my brain shut off. I literally almost fell asleep at my desk trying to write a second scene. Now I'm knitting instead. I guess it's something I have to work back up to. 😅

The rules are made up and the points don't matter but here's a game I've actually played (I love Sam and Max)!

Has anyone tried scissors against this terrifying rag doll? Maybe a seam-ripper?

Besides having to bring my kid home sick (a cold) I managed to hand-write a scene today, which my stupid brain tells me doesn't count until I type it up.

no!

I get that the news cycle is packed right now, but I just heard from a colleague at the Smithsonian that this is fully a GIANT SQUID BEING EATEN BY A SPERM WHALE and it’s possibly the first ever confirmed video according to a friend at NOAA 10 YEAR OLD ME IS LOSING HER MIND (a thread 🧵)

You know what's crazy? When I was a kid, there was a newspaper comic called "B.C." about a bunch of cavemen who were somehow really heavily Christian, and there was a female character named Fat Broad.

Since spooky season is coming up, I wanted to remind everyone that I have a sexy vampire novel for sale 🔥🧛🏻‍♀️ books2read.com/u/mgnvGK

i think its actually awesome that the bestselling books right now are all like, hermione/draco fanfics with the serials filed off because it lets those of us who are mid writers console ourselves with the fantasy that we too could get $30,000,000 option deals if only we were willing to stoop so low

I'm glad that a lot of us have realized that the best post-apocalypse vehicle is a bicycle (this after reading it in The Walking Dead, Carrier Wave, and Nemesis Games).

Rude to call it a parasocial relationship when I have replied 🤣🤣🤣🤣 twenty times, each of which was liked.

Handing the landlord a baby you conceived while a tenant at their property.

Nice post you got there, it'd be a shame if I deliberately missed your point so I could be tedious about it

Maple Apple Blondies 😋 Use tart apples because these are very sticky and delicious but SWEET.

I planted my mums and moved some hostas around. I also harvested sweet mint to dry. This isn't even all of the mint out there!

I feel like there should be a YouTube Pro to sequester the people with crews and editors and slick productions and sponsors from the hobbyists who are just shooting something with their camera phone for fun. Every platform starts out homespun and charming and once you can make money doing it

The creator of "Dandadan" literally went "What if I put everything I love into one high-octane ride into Crazytown?" and then did just that and it was a huge success because people recognize when a story is a result of passion instead of committee. Go make your own "Dandadan." The world needs it.

I turned the downstairs mini split on heat for the first time this morning. I know a "true New Englander" waits until they see frost on the mirror in the morning or something but fuck that champion Yankee suffering shit.

Not on Pasta Day! 😱

All fairy tales evolved from the following story: "Once upon a time a kid ignored the rules and fucking died. The end."

There's an exorcism scene in S2 of the #Dandadan #anime. They could've done it in a million different ways: horror, comedy, psychedelic. But then some genius said: "What if we made a genuinely head-banging metal music video instead?" I hope they got nine promotions. Here's why: youtu.be/XoodunTw0kw

This is a font joke.

One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong.