The Onion

Seen in Philadelphia.

What other places does he not belong?

What some call "unused land" is often the last safe haven for countless living creatures. Wetlands are not empty spaces waiting to be developed. They are nurseries for birds, natural water filters, flood defenses, and wildlife habitats that cannot be replaced once lost.

When you understand how much $1B is, you should also understand how foolish you are to complain about the food SNAP recipients can eat. These people get away with this shit because there’s no checks and balances along the way, because they’re white and credentialed.

Regardless of politics, we can all agree that the President should stop lying to the American people about Iran’s capabilities, right? It’s insane that we’re sticking to the “completely obliterated” lie while Iran is actively killing Americans.

Lmao… they’ve already pulled the Qatari Air Force One from service to be upgraded with all the capabilities that it should have had before Trump forced them to rush it for his birthday. Daily proof that confidence and competence are unrelated.

Trump: ‘I need a White House Ballroom to keep me safe, also here I am, completely exposed in front of 80,000 people from all over the world in a stadium w/a bazillion entrances built on the mob owned North Jersey swamps.’

Trump is gonna try and put a 50% tariff on all Canadian imports, first of all f*ck him. Second of all, instead of seeing Rush at MSG I’m heading up to Toronto next month to spend my money there instead. 2112 is not 3168. Buy Canadian when you can, it’s a great place to visit🤘🏻.

Trump and prediction markets are promoting the idea that unethical insiders can make out like bandits while regular people get separated from their cash. And shamefully, the news media are part of it. My Stop the Presses newsletter.

Cancel the damn dinner.

Links: www.reuters.com/legal/litiga... www.propublica.org/article/fede...

No matter who is in the White House, our courts should have access to the best available science. Political leaders can debate policy, but the judiciary should be able to evaluate evidence without scientific resources becoming another political battleground!

It just never ends with this guy. Trump imposed 50% tariffs on most Canadian goods today, claiming Canada has “unfairly discriminated against American automobiles, alcohol, and dairy products”.

So true.

I can't say I disagree with Marge on this one.

19-year-old Pvt. Isabella Gonzales died defending this country. Think about that while politicians demonize immigrants and terrorize Latino communities. Americans with names like Gonzales have always fought, bled, and died for this nation. RIP to her and Lt. Tyler Feehan. 🇺🇸

For those of you that ever wondered what scares the shit out of him: #FabFord

Seems important

When whales sing, they set up to 70% of the Earth into high-frequency vibration. These frequencies have a proven healing effect on all biological life forms—a gift to life itself.

Is there an editor at the New York Times whose official job is to put lipstick on pigs?

Does your dog bite? No, he blesses. Original post

Who did this? 🤣🤣

🔥‼️ rachel maddow right on point 👇🏽 #iranwar ✊🏽🇺🇲✊🏻‼️🔥

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This week’s Noel’s Notes. Follow along.

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Thanks, Bob. Couldn’t have said it better myself. (Chicago Tribune 7/19) Sadly, this “Administration” doesn’t give a F about anything but lining their pockets. Hey Greta, come on over and help organize a damn Revolution because that’s what it’s going to take.

C’mon peeps, help this Dude help out all those doggos in trouble. A ten spot every month would do it.

HAWAII — Tulsi Gabbard’s brother charged with trying to lure children to a hotel room with gum and money

Trump says an election was stolen—but if there's an election that deserves scrutiny, it's 2024, not 2020. And the focus, according to this view, isn't China… It's Elon Musk. Every. Accusation. Is. A. Confession. 😎✨

Stopped in Jacksonville just to do this.

#UglyDogs, we need all paws in for @currentlysleeping.bsky.social Callie. She got attacked by an off leash dog & is currently in emergency surgery to repair serious injuries. Prayers, good vibes, whatever you got. I'll keep you posted as best I can. 😢

The U.S. State Department has issued a Worldwide Caution for Americans overseas, citing increased tensions in the Middle East and the possibility of unexpected security threats. Officials say the global security environment remains unpredictable

And never forget he pardoned them all. Every last one of them. #Insurrectionists #Traitors

Our planet has two lungs: trees and oceans are the lungs of the Earth. Plant more trees, don't cut them down, and reduce plastic waste in the sea. Protect our forests and oceans to preserve the health of our planet.

They want you to hate the government so you won’t hate the corporations and the billionaires behind them, which actually control the government…

Sometimes people are drawn to the negative, but trust our elections. Trump wants you not to. To him, it’s all a game. To us, it’s our country.

This is exactly what happens when public health agencies are stripped of staff and resources. You can’t cut the people responsible for tracking outbreaks, freeze hiring, reorganize the agency, and then expect the same level of response when a public health crisis emerges. We all deserve better.

The cyclosporiasis outbreak appears to be the largest ever recorded in the United States, and members of Congress are now demanding answers from the CDC about whether staffing cuts, hiring freezes, and agency reorganization affected the federal response.

In 6 days, the White House Correspondents' Association will welcome the No. 1 enemy of the 1st Amendment as an honored guest at their dinner. Major segments of mainstream media are betraying us. 1/3🧵

Having slurred thru a slop of sh*t last night Trump is heading up to NYC for a FIFA reception (FIFA NY Headquarters are in Trump Tower-corrupt AF) a weekend of Adderall & Benzos in Bedminster and then attending the World Cup Finals Sunday. Nice work if you can get it. What war?