I've just donated to @bylines.scot because they're the first outlet I've seen report the Peggie Vs NHS Fife judgment accurately. Please do the same if you can. chuffed.org/project/byli...

Just got an email from Refuck They left out a few details, so I added them, just to be clear and transparent.

The work before you is the work of generations. Long is the way and hard that from darkness leads up into light. A land divided, a land torn asunder by Russian assets, vested interests, and outright traitors.

50 tickets would make an ideal Christmas gift for a loved one.

I think Monday is a day to stay in my hovel in my pile of straw, with a couple of bottles of the deluxe extra aged Granny's Reserve, and let the happy, smiling orphans work in the turnip fields unsupervised. Hope the thatch doesn't leak too much.

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen. Dunno about 5. Went to see that Hildegard of Bingen once.

"Farage is a cunt"

Farage is getting f*cking desperate. How about a 'Collectors Edition' £350 BLACK (sorry @johnnynicepainter.bsky.social ) footie shirt? This is just wrong on so many levels. And I can only think of one sort of person who collects this sort of memorabilia #Refuck #ReformUK #FightTheFash

possibly one of the most tragic photos I've ever seen. Whatever happened to "Live fast, Die young"?

President Zelenskyy is thanking again other leaders for their support. How about we all thank him and all Ukrainians. They are fighting Putin and keeping us safe. If Putin wins we all lose and Europe is finished. Thank you President Zelenskyy and all Ukrainians 🇺🇦🙏

Love from Rooty Cell 1, A Wing, HBP Prison Wülferhampton* (But I'm over the fence tonight) If you see this, post your getaway vehicle. * Part of the SodItCo group of companies

Guardian headline: "Ofcom receives complaints over GB News item on defendants’ ‘foreign-sounding names’" What, you mean like the Huguenot "Farage"? Or "Kruger", or Yusuf? When will we see them in the dock? Not convinced about "Tice" either

I'm getting messages through the temporal anomaly that I just don't understand. Just had this one (ignore the spelling, it's from far Cathay). They're suggesting I buy a secret Yule gift. What do they sell? e-bikes, currently discounted to £1000 (60k groats). Office Secret Santa is getting pricey!

Could @meadhallwench.bsky.social consider some marketing to increase custom in the Mead Hall in the run-up to Yule? Something like this excellent* example I just saw * the card certainly helps serfs to be 'drink aware'. "Was that my 7th or 8th pint? Hang on, I'll check my card. Two more to go!"

I've not seen this 'advert' to which they refer, but it sounds as if someone called Johnlewiserf has moved to Wülferhampton and is trying to muscle in on my rootveg trading monopoly. This will not end well* * for Johnlewiserf

Dodgy suppliers, eh? Just ordering myself a nice e-bike (too many hills around here) & they are offering Worry-Free (TM) delivery for £20 extra I believe that if there are any problems with non-delivery or damage in transit then that's already their problem, under the various Distance Selling Laws

Hey Gang, Sergio Aragones Is Going to Take Us Through The " Dia De Los Muertos " . 🇲🇽 Tap Here For Full Story 🇲🇽 #sergioaragones #elmaestro #diadelosmuertos

For some weeks I've been watching the activities of a small garden spider I've called Albert, who has made his home across my back door. I can't use the back door now. I'm now looking at buying a small tube greenhouse heater for the back porch so that he/she won't freeze. Am I losing it?

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS! The management of ÞNCB is pleased(?) to announce that we have a new resident popular beat combo to "entertain" our customers. "V.J.* Spade and the Hoes" will be performing nightly from tomorrow * Vegetable Jockey - he's our lead digger. The guys with the hoes back him up.

I disagree. In a true democracy the people don't need to take to the streets to complain about the actions of the government. This is what a yearning for democracy looks like. Hopefully the USA will come out of this with a system which gives the people real control over their government. #NoKings

Why I love Wülferhampton No. 512 It ignores silly C21 technology. I'm really pissed off with Radio 3's constant adverts* for 'Smart speakers'. Why do I want to talk to a speaker? What's wrong with clicking 'play'? Here, a 'smart speaker' is Minky explaining the concept of 'writing'. *on the BBC!

Signed

I like living in the 7th century. Life is so much simpler, if tending towards the brutal and short. We have root vegetables, rat kebabs & dangerous potables. What more could we want? Just seen this icon via the temporal anomaly. What does it mean? I've seen similar graffiti near the Latrine Pit.

Those of us working in the retail trade in Mercia are aware of the economic difficulties facing many of our customers. At Rootveg'R'We we already try to help with our buy 3 for the price of 4 deals. Now we're offering extended credit! Simply pay a 100%deposit and the remaining 50% over 48 hours.

Could a new career be beckoning? (with the help of a copy of Photoshop)

I hope they strip-searched him on the pavement to check he didn't have a suicide vest under that jacket? That's the sort of thing terrorists do, isn't it?

Curious musings of a vegetable retailer no.3387 Why are people allowed to refer to Peanut 'butter'? Thanks to pressure from the milk-growers, we have to call Oat Milk "processed white liquid with oats", and vegan can-believe-its-not-butter as 'Vegan block', so why 'Peanut butter', not peanut gloop?

Well, the annual putting-the-sprouts-on-to-boil in the Mead Hall in October is a pretty decisive turning point.

Our fame is spreading! The New European crossword a couple of weeks ago 26 Across. Ancient English Kingdom appears in commercial (6 letters) Hint: it's not "Wülfie"

My family aren't all hard-working entrepreneurs, working 24/7 to earn an honest crust in the root vegetable, brassica, gin and ratsmeat trade. We have a few black sheep, like cousin SoberSerf, an itinerant Temperance preacher. He's just arrived in Wülferhampton for a rest (& to let his wounds heal)

oooohhhh friends are not safe I feel ill Donate ? Share? care???

A brave man and his family, feeding stray cats in Gaza under horrible conditions. Please send some help if you can 🙏

Things I discovered today The Breton word for a clown is "furlukin" My daily quota of happiness has been reached.

Once we had posties who delivered stuff Now we have Evri, & trying to find out when or if your parcel will arrive has a serious touch of Zen about it I know what postcode the parcel SHOULD be delivered to, but how can I know the postcode it will ACTUALLY get delivered to until it's been delivered?

If defacing mini roundabouts with red paint is a response to 'reasonable concerns', then so is defacing planes with red paint. Can't pick just one.

Sherlocke eat your heart out! Last night I was reading a bedtime story to the orphans about the adventures of the great Viking* detective Hërcules Parröt and one of the little darlings pointed out that there were earlier, REAL, great detectives, and showed me this example from 835 * Belgii!

Looks like being a busy week ahead in Wülferhampton. I think some of the younger happy, smiling orphans were hoping for a day off for the Bank Holiday, but I had to point out they are in Mother Turnip's Sunshine Home, not the Bank of Mercia. Also, we need to make groats while the sun shines

E-mails to make your spirits sink into deep depression They omit to add: and they will deliver it on Tuesday to someone 37 miles away in a house with a different name and postcode.

I'm slipping. I must up my fucking game here.

There's nothing really new in the world... Small-ish boats, refugees, famine etc. From 1849

Goodly morrowski denizens. I am frequently asked* for the secret of my success as Wülferhampton's premier root crop horticulturalist. Well, the secret lies in the soil. But also in being willing to learn. A visiting Caledonian at ÞNCB taught me some useful things before his accident... * once

POTATO NEWS! I am glad to see that other posh buggers - beyond our own noble and puisant Lord Bretwalda, may his toenails never turn yellow and gnarly - are taking an active interest in the growing of root vegetables.

Starting to get the odd new-look Brenda following me. You have to pity the poor things. I'm wondering if she can sue the cowboy/cowgirl who gave her a butt-lift-size injection in the lips. Should also explain that false eyebrows should be applied delicately, rather than with a half-inch brush.

Why I hate American AI #6231 "Thomas Hardy, born in the year 1840, wrote both novels and poetry before dying in the year 1928, at the age of 87, after becoming ill with pleurisy in late 1927. He was born to Thomas, who worked as a local builder and stonemason and Jemima, his mom." His MOM? Jesus!

I'm feeling the need for a real world news detox again. Mostly it's easy. I only listen to Radio 3 which has very, very few news bulletins. I don't read newspapers, I can stop looking at news websites. But how do I detox Bluesky while keeping up with #Wülferhampton madness?

It's mind-boggling time again denizens. In this week's "Things I never thought anyone would want to invent" we have - the no-laundry underwear. Of course, it's totally inappropriate for #Wülferhampton - a) we can't afford underwear b) going commando is much more comfortable c) what is 'laundry'?

I'm sad to say that since leaving Twitter/X my sales for live shows have dropped quite a lot - it turns out that even though it's a dreadful place it was still useful for getting the word out about events. So any shares / RTs of my posts about live shows are hugely appreciated!