More great news Lord @wulfhelm.bsky.social . Soon we'll be able to pillage Willenhall & Walsall in style and comfort. No more marching along muddy tracks. Anyone know if there'll be a buffet car, or is it just a trolley with mead and cold rat kebabs? bsky.app/profile/mike...

Sausage. Michael Caine's first starring role. "Sausages sir, thousands of 'em"

An 'intelligence' report from our agents beyond Offa's Dyke, Lord. If you're planning a low-key infiltration round the coastal path to sneak up behind them, avoid the sticky out bit at the top.

@plaidcymru.bsky.social Looks like it's a simple motion for you to propose? The Petitions committee kicked it into the long grass by saying it's up to parties to put it in their manifestos. But why wait until then? This isn't complicated.

Bloody world. Couple of years back bought a new kettle. No, I said, I will avoid foreign tat & buy a British brand. That will cost more but be reliable. Switch has a loose connection and now only works intermittently. Fuck you Morphy Richards. Next one is from Không Dắt Industries of Hanoi

Altho he works at Al Shifa Hospital, his colleagues can do nothing but watch him suffer. Yet he continues. Take care, to help others. To protect the cats that survived. Please, be moved by his generosity with some of your own 🙏🏽 @helpcatsmsallam.bsky.social paypal.me/animalrescue703

FGS Europe wake up. The key is to help Ukraine win. There can be no peace while Putin, his cronies & the Russian Federation remain. Defeat them & you undermine the 'New World Disorder'! Far better to have a powerful democratic Ukraine within a new democratic alliance than outside. #Butterflies

Happy #Caturday, Wülferhampton. Wet and windy here. A good day to be a cat!

I think I want one of these ($500) Dunno why, I just want one Possibly planning a career change to international assassin?

Israel is the world’s LEADING KILLER of JOURNALISTS, they killed one of YOUR OWN @afp.com and you STILL REGURGITATE “Israel says” to try to JUSTIFY KILLING JOURNALISTS, like its a FACT. WHAT A SHAMEFUL POST WHAT SHAMEFUL!!! JOURNALISTIC MALPRACTICE!!!

With Burns Nicht coming up, I recommend you purchase your neeps from the Rootveg'R'We stall asap. Special offers all week, I also recommend you treat yourself to some seasonal decoration for your bleak & mouldy hovel wall - get one of these cute prints by Dippyfish ko-fi.com/s/4c5420b06f - £12.50

Shouldn't that be Laura K in the middle?

Bloody hell, it's nearly a month since the Yulemas sprouts were consumed, and they're still causing problems

I think the Nobel committee should award a Patience Prize to everyone who managed to sit through 70 minutes of Trump's insane, poisonous, demented,* ramblings (Trump not eligible). And the translators should get a €100k pension for life for devotion far above & beyond the call of duty * literally

@frmo.bsky.social Can't say I'm impressed by the general build quality in Shrewsbury. Handy being able to shit straight down onto passing boats though.

… “I learned from them very early that what one does with Nazis is kill them,” he said at a 2023 conference on antinuclear activism in Johannesburg. “I am not a pacifist.”… Applied in 1939. Applies today.

From 1872 Why, exactly, are they recommended by medical men? I suppose if they're air-tight there's little chance of waking up after the funeral.

Bugger Before Jule, reported odd sounds from the 'water' pipe connecting the Duck Pond to the hovel . Nothing. Nada. Reported again today. 4pm, no water coming out of the tap. Phoned Dŵr Mercia again, bloke will arrive at 10.30ish. No idea what's wrong. No fountains in the garden. Can't be frost

Let's talk about generative AI, contaminated information, and rhubarb. Once upon a time, Europe was at war. Food was scarce, and the government of the quote-unquote United Kingdom looked for alternatives. 1/

I want to ignore what's happening in the world for at least a month. How do I do it? Some bits are easy 1) avoid media websites 2) avoid radio/TV 3) but how do I enjoy Wülferhampton without the modern world leaking in? I already have loads of mute words set up.

I've decided that RootVeg Enterprises Ltd is going to try and delink from using services owned or managed by those dodgy folk in Vinland. I suspect it won't be easy, but little steps... Stage 1 is moving away from using Google. I've opened a pro Proton a/c (Swiss) and am now migrating everything

I never realised that "Farage Man" had been around for so long.

Dear Estate of J R R Tolkien I think I smell an opportunity to sue for a lot of money

Dear Firefox 1. I don't give a flying farridge what the weather is like in Novum Eboracum 2. If I want to "see what the weather is like in my location" I simply rotate my head 45° and look out of the window* * currently clear and sunny with some light cloud and a gentle breeze

It's a busy evening in the kitchens at Mother Turnip's Sunshine Home for happy, smiling, orphans, getting everything ready for the Yule feast. Other Granny R has the orphans chopping turnips, while Samantha is busy scraping the carrots. The Brendas are crocheting new stockings

I hate this time of year. It's already a problem trying to work out what day it is, what with being semi-retired AND WFH. But now it's three weeks of confusion. Last Saturday felt like boxing day. Now I have no idea what to expect on Radio 3 - is it the strange weekend programs, or Mon-Fri?

Why can other countries have nice trains, but not us?

The bots are behaving strangely again. Another a/c just got blocked by @comrademeow.bsky.social - but the co-facilitator of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Felines (Official) has zero posts and 0 replies. No profile pics, but 104 followers! All bots I assume.

Supper tonight. Wish me luck. This may be my last message.

I've just donated to @bylines.scot because they're the first outlet I've seen report the Peggie Vs NHS Fife judgment accurately. Please do the same if you can. chuffed.org/project/byli...

Just got an email from Refuck They left out a few details, so I added them, just to be clear and transparent.

The work before you is the work of generations. Long is the way and hard that from darkness leads up into light. A land divided, a land torn asunder by Russian assets, vested interests, and outright traitors.

50 tickets would make an ideal Christmas gift for a loved one.

I think Monday is a day to stay in my hovel in my pile of straw, with a couple of bottles of the deluxe extra aged Granny's Reserve, and let the happy, smiling orphans work in the turnip fields unsupervised. Hope the thatch doesn't leak too much.

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen. Dunno about 5. Went to see that Hildegard of Bingen once.

"Farage is a cunt"

Farage is getting f*cking desperate. How about a 'Collectors Edition' £350 BLACK (sorry @johnnynicepainter.bsky.social ) footie shirt? This is just wrong on so many levels. And I can only think of one sort of person who collects this sort of memorabilia #Refuck #ReformUK #FightTheFash

possibly one of the most tragic photos I've ever seen. Whatever happened to "Live fast, Die young"?

President Zelenskyy is thanking again other leaders for their support. How about we all thank him and all Ukrainians. They are fighting Putin and keeping us safe. If Putin wins we all lose and Europe is finished. Thank you President Zelenskyy and all Ukrainians 🇺🇦🙏

Love from Rooty Cell 1, A Wing, HBP Prison Wülferhampton* (But I'm over the fence tonight) If you see this, post your getaway vehicle. * Part of the SodItCo group of companies

Guardian headline: "Ofcom receives complaints over GB News item on defendants’ ‘foreign-sounding names’" What, you mean like the Huguenot "Farage"? Or "Kruger", or Yusuf? When will we see them in the dock? Not convinced about "Tice" either

I'm getting messages through the temporal anomaly that I just don't understand. Just had this one (ignore the spelling, it's from far Cathay). They're suggesting I buy a secret Yule gift. What do they sell? e-bikes, currently discounted to £1000 (60k groats). Office Secret Santa is getting pricey!

Could @meadhallwench.bsky.social consider some marketing to increase custom in the Mead Hall in the run-up to Yule? Something like this excellent* example I just saw * the card certainly helps serfs to be 'drink aware'. "Was that my 7th or 8th pint? Hang on, I'll check my card. Two more to go!"

I've not seen this 'advert' to which they refer, but it sounds as if someone called Johnlewiserf has moved to Wülferhampton and is trying to muscle in on my rootveg trading monopoly. This will not end well* * for Johnlewiserf

Dodgy suppliers, eh? Just ordering myself a nice e-bike (too many hills around here) & they are offering Worry-Free (TM) delivery for £20 extra I believe that if there are any problems with non-delivery or damage in transit then that's already their problem, under the various Distance Selling Laws

Hey Gang, Sergio Aragones Is Going to Take Us Through The " Dia De Los Muertos " . 🇲🇽 Tap Here For Full Story 🇲🇽 #sergioaragones #elmaestro #diadelosmuertos