In my enthusiasm to solve a problem posed on another social media site ("Why do humans like dried leaves in boiled water?") I have accidentally drained the North Sea for cooling. This may result in a big bloody war between Vikings and Mercians. Possibly the biggest and bloodiest. ....

"I said, after that, I had a right tummy upset. What did I say, Roy?" "You said you could shit through the eye of a needle." H/t The Fast Show

"Long stood Sir Bedivere Revolving many memories, till the hull Look'd one black dot against the verge of dawn, And on the mere the wailing died away."

Do you find many people leave the deeds to their property in the garden @poisonousratbag.bsky.social ? www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/ga...

Fannying about with the clocks twice a year. Is there really any point?

This beast - whining for the last 2 hours. Took her out, extra food, packed her off to bed. Nothing got her to settle. Starting to get worried. Turns out what she wants is for her, her sister AND me to all go to bed. It's only half past eight! Oh well, fuck it I've got a bottle of port + a book 🤪

Well, well, well..... www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

People of Wülferhampton! An important new book available from Lizard Publishing introduces you to the favourite recipes of @meadhallcook.bsky.social along with a selection of their best-loved bon mots ('mutter', 'rollocks' 'meh' and many more!)

Sometimes I think I should act like a grown up and be informed about stuff, so I watch or read the news. About 5 minutes later 👇

In retrospective this is weird that Wikileaks did not reveal the Epstein case. It's almost like Assange was not that uncompromised truth-seeker as he pretended to be.

Repost with a GIF that captures your depth, complexity and nuance.

This is a dance off! If you see this, post a dance or you’re eliminated! www.tiktok.com/@pole_abstra...

Fish stock cube 10 years past its best before date - useable?

Show someone who absolutely rocks a hat (that isn't Indiana Jones). (i'm guessing this doesn't qualify )

Goodnight mammals.

Wales has tonight become the first country in the UK to #BanGreyhoundRacing. Congratulations to you all. A fantastic campaign and victory. History has been made! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿💚❤️🤍

MAX DOWMAN. 16 YEARS OLD. ETCH THAT INTO EMIRATES HISTORY, ARSENAL HISTORY, PREMIER LEAGUE HISTORY!

If you see this, post a chef or a dog with a chef's hat or something. Tried - couldn't get the bugger thru the letter box

I was seriously wondering where about 85% of my clothes were. Then I looked in the laundry basket 🤪

@edcarver.bsky.social do we believe this wild claim?

#Wulferhamptom what's your favourite non-fiction book?

Everyone knows who and what Reform UK stand for: ⚫️ The wealthy few. ⚫️ Scrapping international human rights protections. ⚫️ And privatising the NHS in favour of an insurance-based system. The worrying part is that some still think it’s worth it because they believe immigration will be stopped.

Love a weird click-baity headline. I'm not going to read the article but I am chuckling at the thought of Monty D issuing a warning - "cut your grass in March and I'll cut you up, you slaaaaaag" www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/ga...

Wow! Chorizo and butter bean stew, washed down with a bottle of malbec followed with enough cheddar to make my eyeballs sweat and my blood pressure (systolic AND diastolic) 10 points lower than its been all week. That Nobel prize for medicine is in my grasp

These two women are suing Andrew Tate, alleging he raped them. Here they visit the social media companies that created Tate. Please share. *one voice altered to disguise identity

Get in!!!!

So, thinking about ancient history, specifically Marcus Licinius Crassus. Insanely rich politicians/oligarchs starting unprovoked wars in the middle east would seem to be nothing new. But given how Crassus died perhaps the modern world would be better if they still lead their armies in person?

Good morning wÜlferhampton , as you can see Ash, has a new account Long story short im shot with electronics and Tech If ypu will be good enough to re follow, that would be most kind 💋

@arrdavid.bsky.social Internal jugular catheter?

Blimey, my solar batteries are fully charged m.youtube.com/watch?v=OQMK...

I would have but sodding Brexit. I hope every instigators genitals drop off, become sentient & attack their previous owners faces with contagious herpes & the idiot voters suffer permanent dysentery until prolapse. Not that I'm bitter about it or anything but, fuck all those people.

OOPS! Checked me blood pressure. Now i am going to have to put up with a lecture from GP about being a fat,lazy,boozy old git ☹️

Looks like Jeezy Creezy approves 😉😆

Sun was out for 30 minutes must be time for :

@peter-heckel.bsky.social , I think we have found you a guest columnist for the wülferhampton gazette

In honour of the Sunday Telegraph's editor and offical maddest columnist, we have created the Allister Heath headline generator... stirring-fox-7e1fab.netlify.app

🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏😁😁 This is fun!

Bullshit! bollocks! www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

If you write a book you are setting presumably setting forth your most cogent arguments.. 'In Kruger’s 2023 book Covenant, which outlines his conservative communitarian philosophy, he describes sex as being a private act done almost in public, when it should really be a public act done in private.'

Talita Leonardo's injured cat scam is back again today. Please report @tatanadoo.bsky.social account and posts.

Cool. Now do Boris, Gove, Truss, Hunt, Patel, Braverman and Rees-Mogg. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

Hey! Calling you Policemen!!! Just wondering... saying as 'misconduct in public office' seems to be the biggie at the minute.... Are you going to haul Boris Johnson in for a grilling about him giving his security the slip on the Billionaire KGB man's son's mountain while he was shit faced? Well?