I can’t understand contestants or viewers who get angry at the Traitors for doing a good job of being Traitors. They aren’t being bad people by playing the fucking game well.

Just think, the people in the Big Brother house have no idea that we all hate Taylor Swift and Keira Knightly now. They don’t know no one is watching because Alan Carr is busy being the best Traitor of all time.

To me, this looks like a drone shot of a mass grave in Russia or some shit. I’m not feeling Christmassy. I’m feeling war crimes.

I had a dream John Waters was driving the bus I was taking to the beach.

Damn. This is amazing. £325 per week, paid monthly, for 3 years - and the result was a profit for the Irish economy: www.citizensinformation.ie/en/employmen...

My cat is 14 years old, we’ve had him since he was a kitten, yet he still sits on my lap as though we are strangers meeting for the first time. Like he doesn’t know if it’s okay, has never traversed a landscape such as me before and doesn’t know the gravitational pull, or terrain. It’s awkward.

Are there any happy billionaires? Taylor Swift’s latest burn book of an album makes me think they’re all miserable people and it might do them good to have some real struggles in life, rather than brood over petty one-way feuds 24/7.

This storm had better not interfere with or soak my Frightened Rabbit - Painting Of a Panic Attack vinyl which is due for delivery tomorrow 😭 I cannot be thwarted by a storm with my own name.

Lmao at the search underneath this MSNBC TikTok being “bald American racist politician”. Stephen Miller should trademark it while he can.

(person who doesn't really get what chimps are) jane goodall, you finally live with the chimps now ❤️

Our Little Tesco has closed for the next three weeks for a refurb and I keep thinking, like 18 times a day: “I’ll nip to Little Tesco later and…” and then I remember it’s closed 🥺 mournful music plays and a soft focus slideshow of me all carefree wandering the aisles in better days as I remember…

Why have I not read Jane Eyre before? 😭 decades wasted on not reading this book. I’m sitting here gasping and groaning and swooning.

I’m reading Jane Eyre and I was gone for Mr. Rochester but tbh he’s properly given me the ick with that stunt he pulled. You know what I mean. No spoilers, but when the Ingrams are there. What was he thinking with that? If it was Love Island I’d bin him for that.

I don’t think I’ve ever been affected by a book as much as I have been by Maurice by E. M. Forster. I don’t know what to do with myself (book-wise) after a soul walloping of this magnitude.

Been getting back and neck pain from rotting in bed so I’m rotting in the living room for a bit, instead.

I’m watching The Girlfriend and all I keep thinking is, “Over THIS guy?!” I wouldn’t have the fight in me for this big wet blanket. Olivia Cooke is brilliant in this. Love watching her.

I had the Mirena coil inserted like a week and a bit ago and the initial flood of hormones have caused the worst acne breakout I’ve had in a decade or more. I know I should be old enough to not care about it but I’m on my way out to see friends and I’m so embarrassed I am on the verge of tears.

This is one of those days where decades happen. And it’s fucking exhausting.

Found my cat’s favourite toy which has been missing for ages. He’s so happy 🥹

I bought some chocolate off TikTok shop and it’s wrapped like a brick of heroin.

Actually, Frankenstein is a doctor success at the Venice film festival

This Reform UK shit is so dark. The UK is feebly limping along behind America into fascism and it’s so pathetic it makes me kind of sick. I can’t imagine looking at the rapid state of decline and collapse in America and thinking, Yeah let’s do that. Fucking embarrassing.

Millennial retirement planning

Went to the hairdresser yesterday and I cannot get my hair to go the same way he did it so now I look like

Relief 😮‍💨 in knowing I won’t be missing anything good 😌

Okay I can’t sleep and I’m grumpy about it. “Put the phone down Amy…” I cannot. I am stuck in a doom scrolling loop. I will perish here.

You know a trait which fucking sucks? People who act all cynical and pessimistic purely so they can avoid looking like someone got one over them down the line. There’s nothing wrong with inviting some hope in your life. You won’t look stupid if allowed yourself to be hopeful for a second.

MANIFESTING INTENSIFIES 🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮

“I ain’t reading all that” - the moron’s mantra.

An executive for The Masked Singer snorts an entire rail in one go and prepares to make the pitch of his life

Bullying is fine so long as you do it for a noble cause!

Men so quick to mock women for things like this when there are literally sex doll brothels, when it is men who have been violent and killing themselves over AI partners. Same old misogyny but they justify it because it’s under the virtuous cause of “anti-AI” talk. www.vice.com/en/article/m...

I did a home HiiT workout and it was like doing burpees in the depths of hell. Fuck summer.

Hey @tastefactory.bsky.social is on here!

Also to this someone replied, “You nerds think you’re gonna win the regatta in that hunk of junk?” And I think about that maybe once a day.

Repost with a tweet you still think about.

The more I look back over the way I was treated during education, from nursery (kicked out part way through day one and parents told not to bring me back because my distress was too much for them) right through primary, secondary and higher education, as someone with autism (undiagnosed)…yeah…1/2

“Am I the only one who…” NO. You are literally never the only one. You could have just had a quick browse on the platform you’re on and seen that hundreds, THOUSANDS of other completely average people had this feeling, thought, experience before you did. So shut up. You’re not special.

Why is it so hard to remember literally anything at all when you’re being crushed by depression? My brain cannot retain simple things, tasks. Christ.

I’ve done that thing again where I’ve brought a book to a coffee shop only to use it as a kick stand for my phone, so I can doom scroll. Why.

chat is it insensitive and smug to post about how much I love my wife

Too tired to keep up right now. Exhausted.

All I think about when I hear people say that it’s bad taste to dance on Hulk Hogan’s grave is that Emmett Till’s monument had to be replaced with a 500lb steel bulletproof monument because white people simply won’t stop riddling it with bullets. So now it just has tons of dents. From bullets.

This is 100% the last time I go through this. Never again. Absolute idiot for falling for the same shit time and time again. Done. No backsies 🙌🏻

I like the bit in Friday I’m in Love by The Cure, where it goes, “boi-Oi-Oi-oi-oinggg”.

I bought a Mac and cheese ready meal earlier and had the bright idea of topping it with slices of pepperoni before putting it in the air fryer for another 5 minutes. But the air in the air fryer blew all the pepperoni off 😂 it must have been like the final of the Crystal Maze but with deli meat

Maybe now that people can see how clearly Trump is using the civil system to blackmail companies and how they are opting to settle these bullshit complaints rather than fight them, due to the extortionate cost of litigation, they’ll apply more scrutiny to civil complaints in the future? Probs not 🙄

1. There’s a phenomenon present in both people w/ dogs who use buttons to communicate and in the British partners on 90 Day Fiancé UK and it’s this: the native English speakers become LESS able to speak their own language when in the presence of their button-dog/English as a second language partner.

I cannot handle the state of things.