I hope they’re happy.

The idiot in question identified tolerance as the root of all our nation’s evils, whined about being digitally persecuted, and said this: “I'm not against discriminating against anybody, I'm not against depriving anyone of their civil rights.” He can get fucked. He’ll never sniff the hall.

while the addition of drafts is good, it means that bsky has chosen the Path Of The Coward. all my thoughts fly free on social media, even if you do not see them. i do not keep a bank of horror or glory. this is my public whiteboard, and you will be subjected to all of it.

Megyn Kelly is what happens when you do STEM without the arts … or the science or the technology or engineering or the maths

Age verification? Sorry, too busy loading client-side WAV files through a dial-up buffer so that my chat room buddies can hear Ace Ventura say “smokin” when I enter …

Don’t wish this pain on my worst enemy (Joc Pederson)

Hear me out...if we publish the Epstein Files *in Spanish* will MAGA finally get upset about them?

Summer in Houston is about to be BRUTAL. My drink of the summer is gonna be lemons and limes muddled with rock sugar with club soda poured over the top. Adulterate as needed.

I was really hoping the monks would arrive in DC, convert to their astral spirit forms, melt the bad guys like the Nazis in Indiana Jones, and then kick back and watch a ballgame or something.

Confession: I don’t know what songs in English are about maybe 75% of the time.

I'm done entertaining the notion that the most successful Super Bowl halftime show of all time should have been in English, and you should be, too. Nothing good comes from treating these liars like their opinions have merit and are worthy of addressing.

Guy at the gas station earlier: “Weird, gas is so cheap now.” YEAH BUDDY. WE STOLE VENEZUELA. IT BETTER FUCKING BE CHEAP. WE ARE ALL CRIMINALS. THIS IS WHAT WE DO.

Nights like this, I rely on a YT recording of “Einstein on the Beach.” It’s like 5 hours long and completely insane. Turn off all the lights, eat more shrooms, and say goodbye to my mind for a little while.

Watched it happening from my dorm room and knew we were fucked.

No one needs another white guy’s bad bunny opinions but whatever: If your reaction to a dude throwing a party celebrating his people and culture under a banner of peace and unity is to feel like *your* culture is under direct attack your culture probably sucks.

Who took too many mushrooms and has no baseball to watch? This fuckin guy. Bring me a Mariners fan anyway.

Post a non-English banger.

It’s odd that the religious right is so upset about a halftime show that celebrated marriage, love, community, small business, hard work, and family. 🤔

We have 44 days to #Astros Opening Day. If you thought I was gonna come on Bluesky and hype up Roy Oswalt, estás en las nubes, carnal. Not only is he the light of my life, but Yordan is responsible for the greatest bat flip of all time (pictured) and the existence of my second son. Long story.

Imagine having to follow that.

That was an epic show.

That was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen.

Oh shit this is a phenomenal halftime show. Bad Bunny is an absolute legend.

How could someone see this … and not be ENLARGED by the fact that this, too, is America? What kind of person doesn’t feel stronger, more proud, emboldened by the fact that you share a nation with this man? This music? Shame on you.

These dancers are uhhhhhhhhhhhh talented.

In case y’all ain’t watching, the TPUSA halftime show is flame. All the kids on stage are drinking grain alcohol. Foghorn Leghorn just said the N word.

Last leg of my trip home, and this old white dude sitting next to me on the flight is wearing an old ‘Stros hat and an orange ‘Stros vest Is this looksmaxxing?

To celebrate #Astros opening day in just 45 days, let’s honor #45 the ultimate Astros closer Dave Smith. 1980 RotY, 2-time All-Star, career 1.18 WHIP for the Stros, lifetime 130 ERA+. For me, as a kid, it felt like Dave was always pitching. Gone too soon.

The 7yo is now a Bad Bunny fan. I’m catching him around the house. “Mas besos y abrazos las veces”

BURN YOURSELF OUT ONLY THINKING ABOUT BAD STUFF OR ELSE YOU SUCK ok Mary calm down Jesus Christ

This record is so 🔥

loot does not drop upon defeating me. the developers didn't expect anyone to attack me, i am so vulnerable, and only trying to help. why did you raise your sword? for material gain? i would give you anything i have if you had only asked. i did not ask to be in this game, i did not ask to have 6hp.

Paxton defending an avowed Nazi and calling the orgs who blew the whistle on him “traitors” is truly amazing. They’re just admitting it now.

Answer the poll.

Yes zaddy now tell me how hard you’re gonna prosecute them nnnnnng

My oldest brother, almost 50, shifted gears and became a truck driver, and he’s super happy, and I think that’s really cool.

Family going to Disney this week but I have to stay home and work. I’m gonna rewatch Battlestar Galactica front to back. I’ve gotta do 12 episodes a day to pull it off.

"I only watch the super bowl for the commercials" yeah man I also invest 4 hours of my life watching something I'm not interested in just to be advertised to. That's normal.

Gratitude post for Texas Monthly. An amazing magazine that’s been with me my entire life. If you don’t know about it, pick up a copy.

Engage in music theater with caution. I have once again blown out my voice tryna sing all the Coalhouse Walker parts in Ragtime.

¡México es Beisbol!

Let’s not do this.

A parent made these for the V-day party at 7yo’s school. L to the MAO. “Baby, whose mama did this? Where she live? Do you know their number?”

Bring me another Cuban named Alvarez. Bring me as many as you have!

Keep me away from your dry chicken and your regressive politics, thanks.

Just now waking up to the Skubal-Framber one-two that DET is gonna be throwing next season.

WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS, LAST 25 YEARS: 4: BOS 3: LAD SF 2: STL HOU 1: ATL NYY MIA CHC PHI WSH CWS TEX KC ARI LAA 0: MIL TOR SD SEA CLE DET CIN NYM TB ATH BAL PIT MIN COL

Hello, promiscuous reader here, Thoreau once considered living inside a 6x3 coffin (with air holes) instead of a cabin during the process of writing Walden.

I loved Framber. I will not miss Framber. #Astros

Post-sickness clarity is not as nice as post-nut clarity. That is all.