#Astros bullpen strikes again.

Marco Rubio when he finds out he’s the new Director of National Intelligence

He literally hates any of his children not named Ivanka, so not sure I'd read too much into him skipping a 2nd or 3rd wedding for one of the NotIvankas.

That was actually a pretty good looking AB for Brice Matthews. Bravo.

New #OffDay with #BallparkNation - Sark is at it Again - So is Trump - The CrazyHot Scale - Aggies/Horns/Astros YT: buff.ly/3PBdP7f APL: buff.ly/30kKQ14 POD: buff.ly/4dEsic2 @andyzipp.bsky.social

I typically like Afatandjolly Santa better, but I'm eager to see what Alimber can do.

"Now let's see who is under that mask...Old Man Cornyn!" "...And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids..."

If people stop talking about the latest fraud that the administration has perpetrated it will only be because they've launched some other fraud to distract. Maybe a ground war in Cuba...

Recycling the 2016 Rangers slogan is not #GoodBusiness and #KindaCreepy

"Fun" Fact of the Day: The Houston Astros haven't won two series in a row since September 17, 2025.

So Pena has been activated. Altuve to the IL is the corresponding move? No word on Meyers as of 4pm, but should be activated soon. Jason Alexander and Nate Pearson are in Minneapolis with the team, but no announcement on when they'll be activated. Is that about it?

You mean the most blatantly corrupt act ever committed by any president in U.S. history so far.

New #OffDay with #BallparkNation @andyzipp.bsky.social and I talk: Astros/Aggies/Horns/ Trump doesn't care your broke cause he's rich and the Best Rusty YT: buff.ly/3PBdP7f APL: buff.ly/30kKQ14 POD:  buff.ly/4dEsic2

This is utter nonsense. There is no taco truck worth it's name that doesn't sell a potato and egg taco. There's nothing middle of the road about it. The bigger problem is the media trying to equate a taco order and Ken Paxton's multiple felonies as "equally problematic".

An insurance run? What kind of devil magic is this?

What are the Astros involved ABS stats? Where does one find that information?

As a counterpoint: Yordan Alvarez in Game 6 of the 2022 World Series...total sex on a baseball field.

This line from McTaggart is unintentionally hilarious: "Meyers went 0-for-4 in his first rehab Tuesday at Corpus Christi and went 0-for-4 on Thursday, so he could return next week as well."

Why does JP Crawford own the Astros? When the hell did that happen? He's approaching Fernando Vina status for me...

Update? The 2026 Astros: The Cure For What Ails You (if you are the other team...)

I know that it might be a novel idea, but I'm wondering if "Can this guy pitch in Daikin Park?" should be on the Free Agent/Trade acquisition check list for the next GM?

I do realize that Kalas and Blum have to cheerlead to a certain extent, but... Burrows wasn't "unlucky". The problem wasn't the home run. The problem was the double and the walk before that.

JesusfuckingMikeBurrows...Why can't we have nice things?

Anyone else remember when The Sporting News was worth a damn? Only fellow oldheads need answer, because it's been a while.

What quote from a movie can you hear perfectly inside your head?

Against my better judgement, I'm going to put this game on in my office. Can I get a line on Polymarket about when I'll be turning that tv off?

Marshawn is spitting nothing but truth.

What time do we get to care about the 2026 NFL Schedule? Talk about must see tv...

Houston (home), Seattle, and NYC are the places I feel the most comfortable on the planet.

He'd look like Obidiah Stane.

Astros Pitching Staff: The Cure For What Ails Ya.

I thought nicknaming Imai I-45 was cool but I didn’t realize it would foreshadow to how much traffic he would allow on the bases… #astros

In more positive news, leftover pot roast rolled in H-E-B Butter Tortillas is a damn fine combination.

Gonna switch to the documentary on HBOMax about the USNMT’s World Cup Journey. It’s possible I don’t know how to live with lout some level of disappointment.

Really wish my college baseball team had a Tuesday night game this week… Yuck.

Headed towards 0-6 against the M’s this season…

I sat down for the evening. The Astros game is on, but the remote is out of reach. Which will happen first, I get up to retrieve the remote, or I’ll start screaming at Alexa to turn off the damn television?

Walking the dogs right now and listening to the latest SmartLess podcast. It has turned into a full on hate listen. Jonah Hill must be a beating of human being to be around on a regular basis.

Quote-skeet with the doctor you’d trust leading the hantavirus response instead of RFK Jr.

Hear me out...do the Astros HAVE to play today? What if they just...didn't?

My new favorite thing is a tie between Lane Kiffin claiming he left Ole Miss because of racism in Mississippi, or a bunch of chronically online white guys claiming that it’s bullshit because racism doesn’t exist.

New #OffDay with #ballparknation We're talking Dire Strait's attractive level, Astros, Longhorns, Aggies, Braves AND we have a special guest! Alyssia Rivera @andyzipp.bsky.social YT: youtube.com/watch?v=OD5rTiUey7k&feature=youtu.be APL: buff.ly/30kKQ14 POD: buff.ly/4dEsic2

Christian Vázquez is such a dramatically better catcher than Yainer Diaz.

Congratulations to the 2026 graduates and especially to my son Jake, the world’s newest minted Electrical Engineer!

New #OffDay with #BallparkNation Congrats Jake and Mike! Hunta Virus Astros be falling apart College baseball is winding down College football 24 team playoff YT: buff.ly/3PBdP7f APL: buff.ly/30kKQ14 POD: buff.ly/4dEsic2 @andyzipp.bsky.social

One could easily place the heads of Trump, Miller, Don Jr, and others over Obama, Biden, Clinton, et al. It would at least be more accurate if that way.

Thinking about the Astros this morning... Who are the top 5 players eligible for the 2027 draft?

Narrator: The Astros were, in fact, out of it on May 7th.

Alright. Back to watching the markets get manipulated by our President.

Time to close the book on LMJ. Like for good.