The one thing you’d think an American dictator would be good at is a big, loud spectacle for the Fourth of July and these guys can’t even get that right

Becoming a very funny ongoing bit that he’s always in a suit

If only all of our enemies were this pathetic

you can’t be writing articles about public discourse if you’ve never been yelled at by a customer you can’t walk away from

I can’t wait to have to care about this kind of shit in baseball, too

Oh you don't think it's good to triple the electricity consumption of Utah? You don't like suffocating black people with methane to make naked pics of kids? You're mad that computer parts have 5x'd in price in 2 years? Well that's a heckin' Glonzo, pal! You're doing a friggin' NIMBY!

I changed my mind, I’m going to start using Copilot for a bunch of bullshit I hate doing anyway

Progressives winning primaries is a bigger threat to machine bosses and the centrist think tank/consultancy industrial complex than a party split because even if there’s a split and the Republicans win, the bosses are still bosses and the consultants still get paid

A Dem machine that can’t hold off left-wing challengers with no institutional resources also can’t contribute usefully to fighting Republicans. Even if you’re a sincere centrist you should prefer energetic leftist upstarts to lazy moderates…unless of course you think the fascists are the lesser evil

Philly machine will topple in a stiff breeze. Cherelle might be the last of her kind

This is a Veep subplot

Had sex with your mom

There’s a cop at this diner who looks exactly like Proposition Joe

This is what the flag would look like if George Washington recited the shahada

Imagine getting arrested by a horse for touching slime

Ok now Côte d'Ivoire is a Philly team for sure

I think it’s good someone shot this guy

Ever notice how all the display toilets at IKEA have the lids bolted closed? You just know there was an Incident to make them do that

The validation as a cool, funny guy he so desperately craves more than anything

It’s racist to make me do insurance spreadsheets today

They are harshing my mellow, man

Sitting in a park drinking a lemonade I bought from an honest to God kids lemonade stand. Storybook-ass city

I hated carrying my books like this! So did everyone else! People were constantly whining we couldn’t carry our books around in bookbags

Is it a gravel mining company?

He’s right and he should say it

normal guy: hey man how’s it going Greg Bovino: you gotta hand it to vlad the impaler

Is it carbon monoxide

This was a fun and weird little show from the co-creator of Firefly, who, having been dicked around once by Fox, said “surely they won’t do that again”. Anyway they did it again. Cancelled after four episodes, last 9 never aired. Not on steaming as far as I know (I own the full series on DVD)

Me: “I need a cloud solution that sucks absolute shit and makes every moment of my working life worse for no reason. And I’d like it to relentlessly pester me to pay more money. And it should be integrated with a video chat program that also sucks, for some reason” Microsoft: “I got u fam”

Here’s a take: “we should have had a primary”, coming from a Clinton, means “I’m mad Kamala Harris and not one of my allies was the nominee”

Instant unmatch on the apps if I clock someone using ChatGPT for chat responses

Sports app

They lobotomized the wrong Kennedy

Trump take burger

Holy shit I hate OneDrive so much

This is how a 5 year old who found a box of old Halloween costumes dresses

There are dozens of confirmed cases of people in industrial and medical settings being accidentally exposed to a pure nitrogen atmosphere and just keeling over without warning so congratulations to the Alabama Department of Corrections for somehow inventing a way to make this painful

We can, we will, we must convert British children into Eagles fans on Bluesky, the Philadelphia sports app

Siri is full body priapism possible

Wearing my Philadelphia A’s elephant tee shirt tomorrow honor of Côte d'Ivoire

You do not, in fact, gotta hand it to Mitch McConnell. Just because the face-eating leopard eventually bucked him off doesn’t mean he wasn’t riding it for years for his own (evil!) political ends. To the extent all this shit is one person’s fault, it’s his. I hope he dies in agony and burns in Hell

Pleased to announce I just spent my blackjack winnings on weed

White Sox competitive, three Villanova guys just won an NBA championship together, clearly Pope Leo is using his influence as the Vicar of Christ the same way I would (minus the Knicks thing, can’t do it, but I would have God smite Elton Brand for trading Bridges)

you gave up 4 runs in 4 innings to take the loss, maybe you should be less focused on quoting Genesis and more focused on Job and Numbers