Jr's blowing raspberries and husband just referred to him as "god's juiciest warrior"

The first year I won't have a strip abt making husband's bday cake

Important for people to realize that like 30% of all the bad stuff in society is already explicitly illegal it's just not enforced.

Your solution is take their masks off and make them follow a code of conduct. You’re a complicit monster and every person who is tortured and murdered, whether in the streets or in camps, is blood on YOUR hands.

Every compliment I've ever received on my cooking is nothing compared to my kid crying with food already in his mouth and reaching for the next spoonful bc he can't possibly eat fast enough.

At the pet store bc snow day enrichment. I asked Jr if he thought Daddy would be mad if we came home with a bonded pair of tuxies and a woman with the rescue materialized to let me know they have a great husbands-for-cats trade-in program 😹

What if when we die we can sacrifice our opportunity to be reincarnated and throw a vote behind another soul? I'm fun but fuck me, if I get selected to go back into rotation, I've actually got Mr.Rogers pinch hitting.

Off to run errands in my I WATCHED THE PORN AND I'M A DC SPORTS FAN fit

97%!!!!!

She would have loved Heated Rivalry

Fuck I love snow

I would love an all-women remake It would be 12 minutes long

Why? How are you unwinding?

Post-bedtime bottle, Jr rested his whole weight into me for snuggles, but then lifted his head up and began very precisely booping my nose and giggling. Then heaved a weary sigh and rested his head on me again. Then sat up for more booping and giggles. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

If you can, every bit helps. I don't know Joel personally, but @doyouvalidate.bsky.social is a big contributor to the unhinged portion of DM style. Check out Oddity Roadshow! If you like it, the patreon is TOTALLY worth it! www.gofundme.com/f/help-cover...

LFGGGGG

Husband, to Jr: yeah, buddy, I don't know why she's yelling either Me: Shakespeare must be PERFORMED

Marie Antoinette orders new anti guillotine protection services as she calls for everyone to eat AI cake.

Pimento Mori is that anything

Felt nerdy, might delete later

I am told that I will blink and tomorrow he will be off to college, but today we're laying on the living room floor in our PJs having a snorting contest and laughing our butts off. I know the value of an open mouthed kiss to the eyebrow (and subsequent bite).

People with a humiliation fetish trawling for scornography

Love this. Also love Eleanor's earlier video on AI which is just *chef's kiss* perfection: www.youtube.com/shorts/hL9pl...

"A writing career is not a sprint. It is also not a marathon. A writing career is one of those wilderness survival challenges where they dump you in the woods without a map or a compass or food and whoever finds their way out wins." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how...

Hey don't run session 1 of a campaign you've been planning for months if you're toddler-sleep-deprived AND your period is impending. Especially if you've been planning for months.

People with a humiliation fetish trawling for scornography

Today I gave my child a piece of garlic bread which he devoured and then cried because it was gone. No maternity test required.

There's "threw away the box and now you gotta pull it outta the trash for cooking instructions" feelin' stupid, and then there's "threw away the box and now you gotta pull it outta the trash for cooking instructions, and realizing it's Minute Rice" feelin' stupid.

Help, my baby took an ability score increase last night and he double pumped DEX. Again.

Well I had major abdominal surgery a year ago, so I deserve cheese. HBD, Jr

wikipedia turns 25 today! the last unenshittified major website! backbone of online info! triumph of humanity! powered by urge of unpaid randos to correct each other! somehow mostly reliable! "good thing wikipedia works in practice, because it sure doesn't work in theory" - old wiki adage

WE GOT THIS!!! CMON!!!!!

Me, an accomplished cook who hasn't meal prepped and is late to game night: why TF do we live in an ingredients household

The Right: "Abolish the Department of Education, the Department of Health next, maybe the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau too" Highly-Paid Political Pundits: "I think we should hear out their arguments" The Left: "Abolish ICE" Pundits: "Thar is a completely unreasonable political position"

it's funny to see the wildly unpopular trump and his goons rip the wiring out of institution after institution without a care in the world and have NYT guys and congresspeople being like whoa dudes let's not get too crazy with the abolish ice talk

Jr's first bday coming up

I was abt to join a D&D campaign with a character I'd revived from another game: a rogue named Ilya with a Russian accent. I SHALL NO LONGER BE DOING THIS. Also that T.A.T.U. remix needledrop is lethal

IMPORTANT UPDATE

Homophones sicken me JUST LET PHONES GET MARRIED

C'mon y'all, we can bring it home again!

Get you someone who looks at your shirt and goes 'Haven't seen that one in a while. Do you need to do laundry? Do you need a hand?' (read: are you overwhelmed?)

Give Grandpa the keys. Let him do 1000mph. Down a winding showy hill in a forest in Vermont.

there's a layer beyond "not the Onion" called "not Dril" congratulations to the democratic party for finding it

every few months I have to go to twitter to see some video or prominent person's post that isn't anywhere else, and I find that a lot of you are still posting there. anyway, it's not ok that you are doing that, no you are not the exception, fucking stop posting there

EVERYONE DO THIS SURVEY MAKE DISCORD PANIC AND REGRET AND REVERSE COURSE DROWN THEM IN YOUR HATRED FOR GENAI

Slightly diminish a band Caravan Castle

this is the best reframe i’ve ever seen about calling your politicians

...fair enough