I love when travel shows use really shallow depths of field… that city you spent $400k flying everyone out to? That’s the last thing I want to see

All these drinks called “refreshers” now. They’re just punch with sprite right?

Vulture: <walks up the aisle of the plane with a raccoon carcass, flies buzzing all around it, and stuffs it into the overhead> Bill Maher: Oh god. What's that smell? Vulture: My carrion <everyone in the section laughs> Bill Maher: I don't get it Vulture: oh my god shut up Bill, drink your soda

Checking in on the San Francisco Giants outfielders...

Just saw a jetdry commercial where dishwasher residue was a guy, like mayhem, and he had crusty white stuff all over him and man, This was gross.

It’s like the tweet version of waking up in the middle of a meeting and loudly shouting “I wasn’t asleep!”

Experimental post: The Time 5-Year-Old Supper Mario Broth Thought Luigi Was a Cryptid I share a story from my personal life about the first time I encountered Luigi at the age of 5. Due to a combination of factors, I was unprepared for him and ended up believing he was a cryptid.

Also, if you’re gonna do Total War, redistricting is the tip of the iceberg. It is a starting point, not an end goal. You redistrict on the way to expansion of the court, justice term limits, strengthening the VRA, and burning a path through American politics for the last century.

One thing about woodworking is the mistakes reduce as long as you are ok with making things slightly smaller than you planned

This diaper change could have been an email.

I’m here you Fuckass Bitch!

Mother’s Day is of course the day all Moms are born.

Well isn’t that something. After all these years.

Bill Nile the Crocodile

Back when everyone smoked did everyone just always Have a sore throat or was they throats all pure nerveless scar tissue?

My favorite mother’s day cartoon from the stupendous @rosemarymosco.com

Loafy is but a piece of a whole, a slice of something more, a thing which itself was composed of seemingly entirely different parts to begin with, this leads to other questions for Loafy.

The Milkwalker would chew this mf’er up

The Target store brand mouthwash tastes way more moonshiney than the Walmart store brand mouthwash. This is just an observation not a recommendation

Happy Mother’s Day 🩷💐

Mother’s Day, just in time for Dad to get a man cold. All part of the plan.

Extremely funny that this, from 1627, is indistinguishable in message from modern RETVRN / masculinity podcasters.

Bad news is I misplaced my joke Mother’s Day present so now she’s gonna think the real present is the joke present

Telling all my bros to say what’s up to their Moms for me

Happy birthday to all the MILFs

Happy birthday to John Brown, who knew exactly how to handle the south’s “Peculiar Institution”

“officials discovered two industrial-scale water hookups feeding a data center campus located 20 miles south of downtown Atlanta. One water connection had been installed without the utility’s knowledge, and the other was not linked to the company’s account and therefore wasn’t being billed.”

This is for all the Moms music.apple.com/us/album/say...

Bezos could have just put his thumb on the Washington Post’s editorial scale but instead it’s all ‘the world is better off because of rich villains’ and ‘do poor people really deserve to breathe?’ and ‘experts agree Jeff is the world’s most cool and masculine name.’

They call him Dirty Dominick Mysterio because he is mixed with coconut cream

Anytime I see Luigi fans. We bump Rodney Hinton Jr.

I’m buying begonias because of the movie

The New York Times is playing the Republicans’ theft of Black political power — the return of Jim Crow —primarily as a sporting event. “Bullish Republicans are back in the game,” writes NYT.

This is absolute horses

So Marty Supreme is like the Lisan Al-Gaib of selling shoes and table tennis.

The thing is I can’t earn a billion dollars because if I ever earned enough to retire I would stop working. I only earn so i can support my family and live the life that I want. Why would I ever give a shit about the 10 millionth dollar? I’m gonna go spend time with friends and family instead.

There is no clearer case for the necessity of Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 than how quickly southern states moved to eliminate Black-majority districts and dilute Black power after SCOTUS eroded Section 2. SCOTUS’s reasoning was immediately disproven by reality.

The only way you can actually earn a billion dollars is by taking it from people who earn less for their actual production.

That’s unfair Max, all we are saying is that you can become a billionaire if you are a hardworking regular joe like Michael Jordan the greatest basketball player of all time

You can't "earn" a billion dollars and none of their examples did. Michael Jordan earned $93m playing basketball. He's worth $3.5b today because of our meticulously-engineered legal, economic, and tax structures that prioritize accumulated capital and property over everything else.

here we go again, the new york times calling an increase of 115k jobs under Trump "solid" while it called similar or considerably bigger gains under Biden "disappointing" or "weak"

me sleeping seven hours vs. me sleeping six hours and 42 minutes

I am begging a democrat to run for president saying word for word “these people are fucking freaks and my cabinet will be made up of normal fucking people”

Photo by @nicolehester.bsky.social for The Tennesseean www.tennessean.com/picture-gall...

It’s Kneecap Friday music.apple.com/us/album/lia...

I think the Supreme Court rules should say if you get tricked by racists who created a scenario to dismantle landmark legislation for our nation it should trigger automatic termination

Touching grass is not enough, I need to see Elon Musk go to prison. apnews.com/article/fran...