I don’t know who needs to hear Jesse Jackson leading the kids on Sesame Street in this beautiful call-and-response reminding them that every child is somebody, but here it is

Jesse Jackson was a giant and America is better off because of his works. In 1996 I had the odd experience of working “security” for his speech at a Berkeley rally opposing CA’s trash anti-affirmative action Prop 209, and up close the man’s righteous charisma was a massive jolt of adrenaline. RIP

This is my solemn pledge to you: I will vote for this moray eel as the Democratic nominee for president in 2028. Vote Eel No Matter Who

Lmao it’s true

Jesus christ will you fucking shut up & leave us alone

STUPID POST: I am eating bugs and I am eating dirt. INTELLIGENT POST: I invest in receiving high returns. Know the difference!

Of course this is sinister but if I had access to these files I’d go about my business but then right before logging off do a bunch of searches like “pam bondi dumber than plankton” and “pam bondi incredibly busted face” and “kash patel cocaine binge”

I wish very much that the liberals and leftists on this website would give up their narcissism of small differences, it’s very annoying

This is a canny play by Trump to win support in Ontario, as nothing would make Leafs fans happier than the end of the Stanley Cup playoffs

Post a banger not in English youtu.be/5YBRKL4Q0pM?...

(Walking up to you with barf on my sweatshirt) so what are we doing next

I’m a high straight in Plainview Side bet in Idalou And a fresh deck in New Deal And some call me high hand And some call me low hand But I’m holding what I am—the wheel

Helen of Troy looking like Lupita Nyong'o is incredibly unlikely, would require a black swan event

Potato famine

[talking to fluffy 7 lb. cat] what you think you’re better than me

Fan of psychedelic rock and minor key modulations? Check. This. Out. animalmouth.bandcamp.com/track/califo... cc @beveragecart.bsky.social

It's crazy that if you have the first principle "human ethnic groups, physical differences aside, are not different in terms of mental capacity or 'inherent' personality traits" you are woker than 90% of the people who work for supposedly liberal media organizations.

look, ive said this before, its fine to be a coward. i just refuse to pretend its a virtue.

❤️

Everything Catherine O’Hara touched turned to gold, the diametric opposite of many other people in the news today. An irreplaceable giant gone way too soon

Sir a second tiny dancer has become a seamstress for the band

The banality of evil: how dare you suggest that people other than Jews perished in the Holocaust.

Pronouncing “Bay Area” so it rhymes with diarrhea

I’ve long since had enough of Gavin Newsom but it’s incredible how he keeps sinking to new depths

It’s like this guy has never read the Gospels and has no familiarity with the behavior of the literal Son of God

Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in the town. If I had to guess, probably at the jail

no-one is saying that Americans are unaware that things are crazy. the point is that quite a lot of American pundits seem to be treating Greenland as a standard Trump escalation or distraction which can be easily moved on from or undone, and it's important to understand why that isn't the case

Merrick Garland failed to walk so Chuck Schumer can fail even to pretend to run

Greg Bovino is 5’4”

ALL RIGHT! Finally the New Derangements LPs are available for purchase! They sound great! They look great! Check it out at animalmouth.bandcamp.com/album/new-de...

Immense skill issue to not have found this immediately obvious in 2016

lmao

For those of you confused about the anthropomorphic cartoon dog “Goofy,” remember than when the character was created in the 1930s, standards for goofiness were much lower

One of the best to ever do it

The Chiefs season has been a snakebitten mess but at least I can text my dad during games

It never fails to depress me that participation in American public life and discourse requires almost total born-yesterday levels of obtuseness

Just in (and soon available for purchase): high quality 180g vinyl LPs of NEW DERANGEMENTS, the new record from indie sensation Animal Mouth (objectively better than either Geese or Morgan Wallen). Watch this space for sale info!

A huge downside of following interesting posters with inside knowledge of important issues is that they tend to introduce you through quote tweets of some of the worst and dumbest people alive

Best Christmas tune by far is God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen because of “to save us all from Satan’s power”

me when it happens

Monetize your Sharts

I am not especially afraid of a MAGA-led civil war because, after our political realignment, MAGA consists almost entirely of the lowest character people in the country. They have no regard for basic factual reality, no resolve, and no loyalty. They are cowards who will eat each other

It’s wrong to lump all top Trump people in one category. There are differences among them. But they do seem to fall into three (sometimes overlapping) categories: • Ordinary criminals (grift and corruption). • Sex criminals. • War criminals.

Asperger’s? No you misheard, I have ass burgers

When English people say “we invented the language” my response is twofold: (1) thank you for your work on the first draft, we can take it from here; and (2) you also invented football and we know how that’s gone

British people be saying “oesophagus”

Surely somebody’s already done this one