My friend is trying to convince me that "the city is fine when you're young, but when you get older, you'll want to move to the suburbs where it's easier to get around by car. You won't want to walk to get groceries when you're older." Well, I also wouldn't wanna crash my car into a daycare window.

I hate this comforter between two top sheets thing that hotels do. There is no quicker way to get me overheated and foot-tangled than all that mess.

Where did this little asshole learn to make this face?

No one ever had to yell “adapt or die” to get me to use any other bit of technology in my life.

Why do weenie dogs make up about 85-90% of the dogs I see on the street right now? Is there a weenie dog trend that I haven't heard about?

Finally found a decent primary care doc in the downtown area that's not owned by Amazon, ffs. Who the hell is handing their medical records over to Jeff Beezy, for crying out loud?

Trying to determine the best way to add spikes to this mauve suede jacket. Across the top of the shoulders or around the shoulder stitch front and back? The original intent was to stop people from clipping my shoulder on the street 😄

There's a guy in a fully bedazzled rhinestone jacket on the bus explaining "I'm gonna get me a big coffee! A cup 15 feet tall! With bourbon in it! Nah, I don't even drink."

The funny thing I've encountered being a white lady wandering northern US cities is how everyone tries to explain basic concepts to you that they don't in the South. Like, a waiter just explained tres leches cake as if I was surely unfamiliar 😄

Me this morning: Ooh, my schedule allows for a chill day at home. Me, 3 hours later, at the zoo: dammit

Good thing: My new night guard prevents teeth clenching and headaches Bad thing: I drool on everything

That feeling when your PM schedules an 8:30am call, so you get up and ready early to take it, and then he bumps it at 8:29... I coulda had maybe an extra hour of sleep, BILL.

Same goes for handymen and contractors who also know where you live.

I'm not sure what to think of the cafe where the employees act like I just verbally abused them for asking for a fork. Like, how are they treating these people? Or am I actually a monster for asking 3 times?

i am tired of having to listen to dumb assholes just because they have a lot of money

AINT SCARED !!! - dashare.zone ADMIN

Getting all my Chicago friends hooked on the Texan delicacy that is warm, buttered flour tortillas

Met a teeny dog in the elevator named Pistachio 🥺

Oh no, the dentist talked me into ordering a night guard to stop clenching my teeth and now I have something new to stim with. Clackity clack.

Adulthood is just cycling between "If I don't say yes to every opportunity, no new opportunities will ever be offered to me" and "Oh no, I have said yes to too many things" over and over until you die.

Coupled and family folks, please understand that telling your chronically or purposely unpaired friends "but you have meeee!" is like saying "you should be satisfied with the crumbs I have leftover for you, ingrate." That is how that phrase will forever be received, regardless of intent.

Bought a plastic phone case instead of a rubbery one for my new phone and it immediately shot out of my hand like a damn banana peel

Not me "finding a great shortcut" to cut through on my route to get sandwiches every week only to find out that's where they finally took out John Dillinger.

Just switched phone brands for the first time since 2012 and good god, everything is upside down and backwards!

Hockey parents whose kids use Pride tape and hockey parents whose kids use American flag tape are natural enemies.

Attending a party with a buncha screaming kids running around would be considered great birth control if I hadn't already taken care of that.

Yesterday, I kept seeing CTA bus signs flashing "GO BLACKH*WKS" and I was like, damn, I didn't even know y'all had a dog in the race.

Ah yes the two genders

It never ceases to amaze me how long middle class white people will wait in line for the most mid coffee in the neighborhood.

Trying a new yoga studio tomorrow and I'm pleased that I can't leave hot yoga without seeing inside the fast-casual byo pasta bowl and garlic knot place.

Finally, the innovation I've been waiting for

Last week, I had the blandest bahn mi and weakest cà phê of my life. And there was an older white guy there who'd never had Vietnamese coffee gushing about how amazing it was. And I was like, oh, this is how they get a rep for amazing food, huh...

I felt like garbage and thought going for a run would make me feel less like garbage. It didn't work!

GLP-1 meds are supposed to aid weight loss by increasing feelings of satiety? I think you sorely misunderstand how much I can eat when I'm already full.

Reposting as a Texan who knows both Oh, Canada and La Marseillaise...

Finding a doctor in downtown Chicago is an absolute beast. It's either "we require a $200 annual fee and are no accepting new patients" or "we don't accept insurance."

Gender is a performance and I just got yanked off the stage by a comically large cane while tap dancing poorly in a top hat and yelling "wocka, wocka!"

Every time I see someone talk about Claude I think about how they switched from female to male names as soon as they wanted the robots to seem like experts vs personal assistants.

Damn, 3 iconic buildings that I admire on my weekly walk home from the dance studio are slated to be torn down. It was almost 4 from what I heard :/ So I guess I gotta go get plenty of pictures this weekend, because you never know when they'll get chain linked.

I'm not sorry to say that if you use nothing but Seedlip for your bar's mocktail list, I think you're tasteless, cheap, and lazy. If you charge me cocktail prices, give me quality NA spirits or you look pathetic.

I wore my fun new Judith Beheading Holofernes earrings out on the town Sat night and no one knew who Artemisia Gentileschi was 😭

It's wild that a rolled canvas is infinitely cheaper than just a blank canvas banner.

Worth noting that Accenture, Deloitte, etc are doing this stuff (and dismantling DEI programs) because govt contracts are an important part of their revenue stream and this kind of performative cruelty curries favor with the administration that's trying to cut them.

Hehe, look at him

Okay, spring, I see you.

TJ Oshie just said "Its so loud I can hardly hear myself think." You dont have the equipment for thought, Timothy Jimothy.

I love when something works out, like managing to get a yoga mat and block from two different brands online/secondhand and they match perfectly just like the photos.

How many of us went and switched our laundry?