Another conspiracy brought to the American public by Big Marinara.

the world has changed

Which would you choose? Apt 1: Decent apt with decent views, 13/15th floor, but great vibe, better food downstairs Or Apt 2: Great apt and view, 20th floor, but kinda stark building vibe, stark feeling block, has a sauna and steam room, but shares amenities with a hotel.

Dog in a snowsuit

I think the very first building I toured might be the one, lol. Triple-paned glass Double-drywalled 6" concrete between floors Met the maintenance staff Pre-lived units were each IMMACULATE

Gotdamn, that's a good bagel and cortado

erika kirk looks like the type who would scream WITCH at a random person on the street

Me, from North Dallas: Whoa what is that phenomenal building? So ornate, must be a mosque? *Looks at google* Serbian Orthodox Catholic Church?

Why is no one at O'Hare wearing a coat or gloves! All y'all are standin' around with goose flesh!

get in, no time to explain

Ohmigod, I've admired this damn Victorian home on 15th St. since I was a kid and always wondered who lived in such a house. Turns out it's my trainer's parents and he's having everyone over for a fire pit next week. I AM SO THERE.

My dad: So have you driven much in Chicago? Me: Absolutely not. Dad: Oh, did you mostly take Ubers? Me: Absolutely not.

the entire post 9/11 apparatus is now being fully utilized

You don't even wanna know the size of coat that I just fit inside of a spirit/frontier-sized carryon just bc I'm sick of it sliding onto the floor. Y'all aren't ready for it

Appreciate my Lyft driver stopping for neighborhood squirrels

Why no, I can't do anything today because I have a flight at 5pm. I will sit here, frozen, until it's time to leave.

Almost got sideswiped by a whole mini van while sitting in a parking lot a mere two weeks before I sell my car. I fucking swear.

Is there ever a time when at least one person isn't upset with you? Keeping people happy would require acts of mind-reading.

This lady decided to harass me on Poshmark over a sale where she didn't read the listing. And she's literally a blonde woman named Karen. You can't even write this stuff.

Why were we shopping at Target anyway? Walked in with a friend tonight after skipping it for a whole year and it was all shit. Just shit!

Wait! Chicago has a skate ribbon!? And no one told me!?

This year is ending in wild ways. Like, a lot of my close friends have lost people they thought were friends in the last month. Huge fallouts, drama, and a lot of hurting and confused folks right now. Not sure what's up with 2025, but I feel like we're dodging some bullets in the end.

Receiving lewd messages on Hinge at 27: "Oh my god, ew. The audacity!" Receiving lewd messages on Hinge at 37: "I mean, I won't. But it's nice to know someone still wants to."

Is it intentionally hostile architecture or was it just designed by a dude?

more frog, again. seasonal frog

Man, I've maybe clicked through a couple hundred Hinge profiles in the Chicago area and haven't seen one guy brandishing a gun yet (like in DFW). Wild.

Reported a Hinge profile this morning that had nothing but AI pics. Like, come on homie, you're not even holding that watering can right and water doesn't move like that.

By the way, the state legislature passed a law this year that banned LGBTQ groups on high school campuses. But sure, free speech. Also, it’s at the end of the article, but they did threaten anyone who pushed back at this.

Me (history nerd): whoa the Bronze Age collapse is wild. I wonder what day to day life was like for the average person who lived through it Monkey Paw: *curls all its fingers *

Saturday is my only available apartment hunting day in Chicago. The universe is colluding with Greg Abbott to punish me (a woman) for leaving Texas.

Today's Craving: Tortelloni absolutely swimming in a brown butter sage sauce. Gimme them Venutian belly buttons.

You know, I've noticed a trend anong stories from my 30+ single friends that I'd never thought about being an issue before. And it's our married friends discouraging dating and trying to keep us as their little pets.

Pry it from my cold, dead hands. Which will also be holding a slice of cake.

Downloaded Radio Garden to explore radio stations around the world, but immediately stumbled onto a Kansas station discussing "hardcore furries."

"Go eat frosting from the can" possesses the same impact as "I hope you get what you voted for." Your reaction tells me everything I need to know about you.

The weird thing about being a woman is that everyone wants you to act like their mother but to still scold you like a child.

Did I make too many decisions and exhaust myself at work today? Yes. But did I also try to change the cabin air filters for the first time and end up crying on the garage floor with Youtube open? Also yes.

I feel like malevolent tech bros would really change their tune if they traded unseasoned chicken for a flaky, buttery croissant and a cortado. Romanticize your life. Use the good china. Reject asceticism. Eat frosting from the can. Buy yourself flowers. Save humanity.

My parents keep ordering Jason's Deli for takeout and now there's a fucking mountain of pickles awaiting me because I'm the only person who likes them. It's...too much self care.

All super rich guys sound the same now. It’s all “I sleep four hours a night and spend the other twenty hours a day developing a product that’s going to bring us the best widespread poverty anyone’s ever seen.”

I don't like being cold inside, but I do enjoy the cold outside. Like, let me bundle up in every piece of gear I own, step outside and laugh directly into the stinging wind's big stupid face.

i don’t particularly care for the current angle of the sun

At the end of every hockey game: "Wow, that goalie was a very good boy. I hope he gets a piece of cheese."

Telling people you're leaving Texas is like getting out of a hostage situation

So many friends are like "why don't you just take your car with you to Chicago just in case?" 1) It has a 110-mile EV range (can't drive cross country) 😊 2) Will cost about ~$2k to ship 😌 3) Parking costs $400+/mo 😃

The yt folks in the Frisco subreddit who are upset about their new Desi neighbors shifting the culture of their communities are SO CLOSE to the point. But it's flying right over their heads.

LEAVE MY GORL ELAINE ALONE

It's really not fair that some people can have like, three partners, and I can't get even one date. How are y'all doin' that?

I got too excited about Rilakkuma band-aids at the store yesterday and now that's my entire suggested feed 😐

Just sat down to a coffee and toast and the last table left was next to some game dev bros, talking big and immensely full of themselves. When they left, the cute guy a table over looked at me and went "WOW, that guy was pretentious!" 😅