Sound like I'm from the exorcist this morning. - Get in - My word that was sluggish - Miley/Tonali saviours - Love Wissa - They moved Local Hero back to its correct kick-off running order! #NUFC #CarabaoCup

'The Power of Love' is the worst Christmas song of all time and I'm not even having a debate over it. And that's giving East 17 a LOT of credit against my will.

I'm allowed to be looking forward to tonight, right? #NUFC

Nobody has ever looked more like they’re the non darts playing half of a Bullseye team.

... #NUFC

How(e) genuinely embarrassing. *I'm relieved I've been at Tynemouth aquarium and felt extremely run down to really care. #NUFC

I WOULD, however, like to formally add to my statements... HOWAY NEWCASTLE!!!! 🖤🤍🖤🤍

Oh god. Derby day. #NUFC

Panic over - he's made it!

I forgot how ugly this particular derby was... Even the names. Cattermole, Bendtner, McLean. Pardew starting on O'Neill on the touchline. Mike Dean vs Cattermole. McLean being... himself, and getting both teams a £20,000 fine. Sessegnon elbowing Tiote. #NUFC #SAFC #DerbyDay

Still all really suffering. Eldest might miss her nativity now. Sound like the girl from the exorcist. Mentally, I'm running on fumes right now.

This is a weapons-grade, critical problem to solve now. #NUFC

Fuck this shit.

It's finally happened again. Both the girls have been ill a few days, and now it's got the lot of us. You feel so helpless and guilty, don't you?

A Christmas miracle ✨️ #NUFC

UNITED ✊

At least they are now in police custardy.

This little boy was 9, Farage was 17. The epitome of a school bully.

"Like a new signing."

Confirmation. #NUFC

"Listen to this, this will blow your socks off...."

All I want for Christmas.

Bollocks. #NUFC

Lovely old job.

Barry Davies: "LOOK AT HIS FACE! ...JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE!" #NUFC

I repeat. #NUFC

I'M CONFUSED? #NUFC

If there was a Puskas award for matchday YouTube comments, we may have our winner. #NUFC

UPDATE: She's had a lip sync battle with me to 'Life is a Highway' from Cars 1. Happy family. All is good again.

A MASSIVE WIN AT ST. JAMES' PARK!! 😍😍😍

Thiaw. I'm running out of words. What a phenomenal player we have there. #NUFC

My poor daughter has cacked herself again after that. Holy Blaydon Races man. We're back. #NUFC

Dreading that added time board number. #NUFC

I can't deal with another 3-2 loss. Please don't do this to us guys. #NUFC

That's why. Shite.

NOW I'M SCARED. #NUFC

Feel like I'm cheering on my kids at the Nativity watching Hall and Tino here. We've missed those lads. #NUFC

Volters mannnn 😫 Good stuff though still. Into them! #NUFC

That Doku's good, mind... #NUFC

Turns out it was in Shields all along...

Scotland now:

Absolute mania in Scotland. What a finish, in many ways. Lovely stuff.

"Why are you so sweaty?" "...I was watching Cops."

Bam Margera and co literally became millionaires for smashing each other in the plums. I get it on a daily basis from our two toddlers and still wait here for the royalties.

The tale of the Tyne-Wear derby ⚔️ #NUFCW #BarclaysWSL2

🇧🇷 Happy 28th birthday to Newcastle United captain Bruno Guimarães 🖤🤍 #NUFC #NUFCFans #NUFCNews #NewcastleUnited #Newcastle #EPL #PremierLeague #FBLifestyle

Clearly Lee is only dreaming of a white Christmas.

I love this kit mind (and player) 🇩🇪 That whole photo looks like it could have been taken in the 1980s.

Thrashing out some football demons by time travelling back to my teens. Absolutely wicked night in Digital 🤘 #CKYcrew

One glimmer of hope for this Newcastle side is that it feels like a new system of 4-2-3-1 that includes Wissa AND Woltemade could change things dramatically soon. Throw in the full-time returns of Hall and Livramento, too. #NUFC