Woke up from a nightmare last night in which I told someone cuddling with me to let me know if they wanted to be classified as a new species of chimpanzee and they responded with an ear-splitting scream right into my ear

Armie Hammer did nothing wrong. Let the man cook (human flesh)

🎵 Loose Footloose All your feet are loose Feet Loose feet You're gonna lose your feet 🎵

The schtick will continue until beatings improve

Forget a cum tribute. I demand a human sacrifice

I'm in Berlin

I'm flying on 9/11

This essay covers consent violations, harm & abuse, sexual assault, pregnancy loss, cancel culture, alt-right hate, death & sexual assault threats, trauma & trauma recovery . This is my year of harm . #YearOfKindness laurenjanek.com/post/and-i-always-think-something-beautiful-is-about-to-happen

Every time I have to submit an artist/performer bio I inevitably write something ridiculous and completely forget what I said by the time I see it posted

This time next week I'm gonna be in Berlin dragging my father to a bunch of gay history spots

Just occurred to me that I don't know if Ive ever seen a piece of media with a gender nonconforming or trans character that just......is. no exposition about why they are, no exploration of their trauma, no ham-fisted saccharine Ryan Murphy "you go girl" shit, theyre just like any other character

Those ones go on the Industrial axis. That goes from 'Hitting bins with hammers' to 'Two bald blokes with macbooks' and 'Aerobic workout' to 'Art of Noise'.

ok I synthesized a few ideas and I think I figured out how to explain basically all goth music

I want to do a hook suspension so badly. I think hanging in the air from thick bars shoved through my flesh would fix me

I need a job where I don't have to use my hands, or stand on my feet, or talk to people. But also not sit with nothing to but stare for my whole shift. Hmmm. Perhaps a cat psychiatrist

Me after having my face tortured for two hours last night: jeez why do I feel so overstimulated today??

Wake up babe Naked Girl Comics Vol 3 cover illustration just dropped

pretty hate machine is about how trent reznor would be a really fun pain bottom at first and then ruin it by asking if you think he could ever pass as a girl

It is very cool to be past the years of paying my dues doing hot girl shit and into the years where I get to do the weird shit I've always wanted to do

it’s actually transphobic not to say this

Being a transmasc millennial is so stupid because every time I tell someone that I'm a man now theres a part of my brain waiting for them to say this back at me

I'd be very happy to die this way

"sharps play is just self harm" ok then what's this

Forget cannibalism as a metaphor for love give me cannibalism as a metaphor for class solidarity. An angry mob of peasants slaughtering the bourgeoisie and gathering together to cook a meal to feed the entire village from the flesh

The roided up circuit gay and the perfectly spherical enby with a neon green bowl cut are basically the skesis and the mystics from The Dark Crystal, in that only through encountering one another will the world be healed

They should invent a brain that's capable of socializing two days in a row

19 Content warning, these are about the worst relationship I ever had and how I've been coping with the trauma that still hangs over me, 14 years later. But! There is a hilarious punchline at the end

wrote about how social media kills sex for @readlux.bsky.social lux-magazine.com/article/priv...

Fr though. People tell me all the time how much they love my comics, they get a ton of engagement, I plug my Patreon every time I post a new comic and guess where I n e v e r see new members

guy whose brand is goofy dude that respects women and minorities who just hit 10,000 followers on a social media platform: well, time to do some sex crimes

Dear ALL gay people: i am not going to sever ties with people I care about because you have conflict with them. Sort that shit out between y'all and leave me tf out of it please

How it feels to be a sex worker watching everyone else finally realize, in the year 2025, that credit card companies have been censoring stuff and it actually sucks:

artists you need to remember your compatriots are not collectors and gallerists and curators, they are people that make porno and people that cook food. stand with fellow people that work at night

Every time I read the word "pleasure" on a straight guy's dating profile I wanna fucking barf

If anyone follows me who works for meta, hmu. Insta got suspended & it would suck a lot to lose the profile I've had since 2012

It is very cool to be past the years of paying my dues doing hot girl shit and into the years where I get to do the weird shit I've always wanted to do

Disservice animal

Forever dreaming of the social life i was capable of before I worked full time

finally watching The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover and my god this movie is gorgeous

A plague upon the tyrant

Violent times call for violent measures 🔥

"alright dude, this has been fun but I need you to leave my house now so I can fart"

"good night dude, glad you're back on the fag wagon"

Some popular YouTuber used the picture of me from the hard times article I posed for years and years ago in his video about GameStop and that's how I learned that I am the number one Google image result for "GameStop girl"

I always joke not to let me talk to you about clothes and the inference is that it's because I will info down but actually it's because I'm going to ruin it for you by telling you all your clothes are made with slave labor

Rob is short for Robbery