ICE Agents Swab Passengers’ Hands To Test For Immigrant Residue

Eat shit, lol, and long live The Onion.

dear person accelerating to cut me off from changing lanes: i hope you got as much dopamine from trying that as i did from me taking my lane anyways. how very satisfying. 😄

what i should have said is this is exactly what my dear friend @meat-and-breath.bsky.social challenged me, a sad and questioning nonbinary dude some three or four years ago, to do - just try estrogen for a few months and see how i feel. so yeah... can confirm. 💖

roommate dropped her vape under the bed. i used her riding crop to fish it out. 😆

will stancil is so fucking stupid and useless oh my god what a fucking baby all of you liberals are fucking mememe baby ass bitches

💔

this really touched me. so very affirming. like.. just. i'm finally me. finally alive. 💖 (link to get around the paywall: archive.is/TIsua )

“If I defend myself, *I* will be the one who gets arrested. Not the assailant,” Sortor posted to X late Wednesday night, calling Portland a “third world hellhole.” so stay the fuck home, asshole. don't come to a "third world hellhole" and bitch about it when u could live long and prosper elsewhere.

really frustrating that my roommate decided to fuck off for a week and now our power is cut because it needs to be transferred into my name and argh.

and a Corgi shall lead them.

But I would have gotten the haircut right.

oh my god they aren't wasting any fucking time are they like shooting fish in a barrel for them. 🤬 ICE must be abolished.

Do be taking pictures of these unmasked ICE agents in airports please

there's one reason and one reason only that they're there. to put the squeeze on democratic lawmakers to coerce them into signing the funding bill. just more shit from the shit factory.

welp. looks like i'm buying a faraday bag for driving around with. enough protests happen around here that I can't afford to get picked up in an electronic dragnet. :/ need to figure out a mobile hotspot to power my car radio's maps feature with, tho.

she was as the dew in the valley, though she lived in a tree; she was the most amazing person ever. she and i had a child together and named it after the Goblin King; I recorded myself reenacting scenes from the Princess Bride, she sent me a metal rose that would never die. ours was a love for the

IT’S CALLED HENTAI, COOP. NICHE PORNOGRAPHY FROM THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN. REAL WACKYLAND STUFF LIKE TENTACLES. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE GETTING A PROSTATE MASSAGE FROM AN OCTOPUS? ME TOO.

don't fuck with me. i outlived chuck norris, bitch.

In honor of Mr. Rogers’ birthday, here’s your regularly scheduled reminder that the quote of his you keep sharing, that in times of crisis we should look for the helpers, was for his audience of children. We’re adults now. We’re supposed to *be* the helpers.

no time to explain, get in the ketamine cyberhearse

I knew this, but I'd forgotten it centered around the group of languages in the region. an excellent and timely reminder, indeed. we're beset upon from all sides by people seeking (with ill intent) to redefine words and how they mean. when we distort words, we decimate worlds.

Watching liberals adopt literal fascist talking points in real time is quite horrifying. It’s terrifying how in 10 short years people have gone from trying to improve human rights to outright calling for minorities to give up our rights for their comfort.

This. Do not donate to these large non-profits to help us. Donate to us. Our GoFundMes, our PayPals, our mutual aid requests. Buy our art. So many of us are freelancers. Hire us! Fucking subscribe to our OnlyFans or Patreons or whatever. Actually improve our material conditions.

For the record, the Nazis are spreading terms like “zio” and “zog” into leftist spaces intentionally as an on-ramp to fascism. This is what cryptofascism means. They explicitly talk about doing this on their forums and telegram channels. You’re being played.

I'd do my Sisyphus joke, but I'm tired of having to repeat myself.

Elbit Systems is... well, was a key supplier of land and air weapons used by the Israeli military in Gaza and Iran.

of course i wore the panties that keep falling down anytime i try to walk. the overalls are so cute tho. :)

Breaking: A U.S. district judge in Oregon said he will vacate a declaration made late last year by health secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. that asserted gender-affirming care for young trans people does not meet medical standards of care. www.statnews.com/2026/03/19/j...

yes. laugh all you want, but the rest of us are just going to think you're a racist piece of shit. especially now since you've been educated on the origin of the word. a term coined by the Klan should bother you, and if it doesn't, your mother didn't raise you right.

im glad people are saying it. im so tired of everyone and everything donating to some generic large nonprofit, meanwhile almost every trans person i know is struggling to make ends meet and no one - including these very nonprofits - will hire us. ive never once felt the benefit of a glaad donation

yah! yah!

Amazing call from @crimethinc.com for outreach and building connection during upcoming #NoKings rallies on March 28th.

i want to go back to four days ago when I had no idea someone named "The Woke Ginger" even existed, please.

but the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear and he shows them pearly white

😒 seems like they're going to come after trans-related nonprofits ("radical gender ideology"), but it remains to be seen if they will be successful in linking trans support with "domestic terrorism". i have a feeling they're going to try, though, and this is disheartening. just leave us alone.

I'm very concerned that an American embarrassment in Iran on behalf of Israel is going to give antisemites like Nick Fuentes far too much oxygen in US politics. Let us be perfectly clear: anyone who makes this about "the Jews" is your enemy. Full stop.

fucking amazing. ❤️‍🔥

gah, i fucking HATE updates that change the UI !!!! Workspaces (MS Edge). Used to display the whole list (me, ~14 workspaces) in a fixed order, which I had optimized. click, click. they've now the list order dynamic, and only shows 6 spaces, forcing me to scroll through and find what I need. WTF.

taking bets on which democrat is senators are going to push that "yes" button. ... besides fetterman. come on.

does anyone have examples of good alternative haircuts that de-emphasize a bald spot?

I'm a very cool and interesting dyke who needs help, if you can spare any. I also write cool and interesting horror fiction, if you'd like to support an indie writer and get some rad stories about goth vampires and lesbian werewolves and dykes dealing with monstrous garden pests/homophobic ghosts! ✨️

If you lose standing for something that’s a victory and you will be welcomed by voters in the future if you continue to stand on it. It’s better to lose on principle than win on strategy. Because you pushed an agenda forward. The only true failed campaigns are the ones that flame out chasing polls.

so real

the pedoquincentennial coin, everyone.

40 MINUTES TIL POLLS CLOSE. As always, if you’re waiting in line to vote, STAY IN LINE.

holy shit this is amazing, i almost can't believe my eyes. love this so much. i hope other states follow suit. LAND BACK.

It is St. Patrick's Day and rather than celebrate patriarchy and green beer, I invite you to celebrate St. Brigid, the saint who demonstrated God's goodness by giving abortions