Hey, hey, this premiered tonight on Apple TV. My husband and a whole lotta friends of mine spent the last few years making it. It’s very good. You should check it out.

Dangerous confession: I find THE GODFATHER insufferably boring.

You know what Sandwich Guy’s acquittal means? Anytime you see an ICE agent…

FUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUU

I made a free graphic for people to use for future #NoKings protest or just plain ol' anti-Trump posts, available in 4x5 and 9x16.

This is the approximate amount of ibuprofen Trump will need to ease the pain of the massive spanking he got from yesterday’s election.

To quote Mamdani: Turn. The volume. Up.

Raise a glass to freedom! 🍻

We should do this more often.

Fuck, I hope legacy Dems heard Mamdani’s speech. Not just listened, but heard.

Tonight's even more proof the mainstream reporters who are still on Twitter are suffering from a brain problem akin Havana Syndrome that is preventing them from accurately doing their jobs. They are being cooked alive by a snuff-focused apartheid algorithm.

Remember, people. When we talk about the turnout and results tonight, don’t say it’s a “blue wave.” It’s called a bluenami.

Holy fuck! Guess the state’s come a long way from arguing over where to put the Arthur Ashe statue.

It’s election day! I voted to do away with the tiny handheld microphones used in social media interviews.

Trump throws ketchup. We throw mustard.

Great start to the day hearing Allison and Dana on @dailybeanspod.com unable to stop laughing while reporting details of the Sandwich Throwing case.

Your vote matters now more than ever. #YesOn50

Headline Writers: When covering Trump's tone-deaf party, "The Great Fatsby" is right there for the publishing.

How it started / How it’s going

If your newspaper is giving Donald Trump softer headlines and gauzier coverage than People Magazine, that should be a bit of a wake up call.

Wait, so you’re telling me the dogs just let you paint them during their poker game?

Losing the Fourth Estate has really fucked the United States and its democracy.

MAGA be like...

I may have to google all of today's slang, but I can insult you in Shakespearean English.

so they’re all Republican?

Think I’ll rage-bait MAGA with a retro tactic. Gonna wear a tan suit.

You'll pry these Oxford commas out of my cold, dead, third thing hands

I always thought of Mark Ruffalo as a teddy bear, but on Ted Danson's podcast he recounted a story in which he and Woody Harrelson started a bar fight — with Ruffalo adding that when you are shoved, the correct response is to punch that person — so, I now think of him as more of a cocaine bear.

Halloween is going to be weird now that there are scary masked people on the streets all year long.

Current Horror Filmmakers: Yeah, so, my movie tells the story of a wealthy woman who discovers her armpit is a gateway to Hell, but it’s really about grief.

In response to Trump’s renovation of the White House, Aaron Sorkin reportedly upset that all future syndication of his hit show “The West Wing” will be renamed simply “The Wing.”

If you boycott all of the companies pitching in to build Trump's garish ballroom, you'll have to communicate via tin cans and string from your locally sourced cardboard box.

vetting future dem candidates

If I had a time machine, I’d go back and strangle the asshole who designed my kids’ high school parking lot.

Trump only wants a new place to have big fancy balls because his balls are tiny and shriveled.

I went to an art show during the ramp-up to the 2016 election. One of the paintings was of Trump raping the Statue of Liberty and some in the room said it was garish. I’d like to know what those people think now that he’s come up with his own metaphor for how he’s violating our country.

Overheard at the White House today…

Man, he REALLY hated #NoKings, huh.

At our local #NoKings protest yesterday, there was war veteran carrying a HUGE sign with the American flag on it and the words “OG Antifa.” Whoever you are, dude, thank you for your CONTINUED service.

Weird of Trump to admit he produces such a regular abundance of diarrhea that he could use it to carpet bomb U.S. citizens with his soupy McDonald’s turds.

MTV is shutting down, which elicits the exact type of angst and ennui MTV trained me for.

It makes sense that our country is in such turmoil. You can’t spell “democracy” without “emo.”

The Trump-brokered Gaza ceasefire didn’t even last a single Scaramucci.

Instagram just suggested I follow a guy who, in high school, threatened to beat me up because he thought I was gay. Thanks for the memories, Meta!

This is the content I'm here for.

Did alcohol write this?

At Whole Foods with our 16-year-old when Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” started playing over the sound system. He paused, then said, “Well, the ‘90s is officially dead.”

KPop Demon Hunters < Jug Band Kaiju Wranglers

The biggest shock from the Peacemaker season finale is that the singer of Foxy Shazam is a man.