This is absolutely savage.

No, I screwed up. I cry your pardon.

Being someone else's obscure cultural reference is my idea of heaven. Thanks for this, @judgejohnhodgman.bsky.social !

I remember cheering when this guy got his ass kicked by a stronger, smarter brown woman on Survivor.

You Winsome, you Losesome.

“Whatever could be causing a loneliness epidemic?” you ask the internet, sitting in a driverless car wearing headphones that you never take off in public, as an anonymous shopper makes contactless delivery of your meal kits using the keypad entry of your condo atop empty ground floor retail space

If you see this, post a vampire who isn't Dracula.

Sometimes, your first drink is the worst drink. spatchcock.substack.com/p/the-fergie...

Somebody please remind me how things turned out for Jay Gatsby.

If you see this (and you feel up to it), post four female characters you love.

Change one letter, ruin a candy: Milf Duds Twinx Shittles S&Ms Scarburst

Au reservoir, Prunella.

managed to snag the olivia reingold video before she deleted

I am an otter spotter.

Tyler Perry's Gold Diggers of 1933.

I traveled 6k miles to vote, so I'm extra mad at the people who didn't bother.

How do I have 2k followers when my posts are 99.9% invisible?

Take two crackers and call me in the morning. spatchcock.substack.com/p/grahams-cr...

Current mood:

In which John Oliver methodically unpacks how thin it is to claim you’re all about “the truth” when you’re only running essays don’t get properly fact-checked — and don’t hold up to even basic reporting scrutiny www.youtube.com/watch?v=gieT...

On the Bridge of Sighs one year ago today.

I am just so fucking proud of her.

When life gives you grief, crumble it and sprinkle it over salad. spatchcock.substack.com/p/kummerspecks (And thank you, @hollahugh.bsky.social , for making this a part of your greatly missed anthology.)

This is what my version of heaven looks like.

We are thrilled to announce that our NEW Large Language Model will be released on 11.18.25.

Age yourself with a film you saw in the cinema as a kid.

The White House tried to bury our community in BS. Stay centered & fight back: Say it loud: Tylenol does not cause autism, and leucovorin does not treat autism Advocate locally for better autism/disability services Connect with people who want to make lives better for autistic people & families

Buñuel's martini is the best martini.

Bye bye Hulu.

Tanti auguri a Signora Side-eye!

Dutch late night TV has its take

Mine's "Lebensversicherungsgesellschaft"

Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From

Do Prince Andrew next.

Pro tip: Do not watch Ordinary People alone if you're the surviving sibling of a preferred older brother who died young. #RIPRobertRedford

A celebrity chef's petty larceny is thwarted by her waiter, or "How Judy Rodgers Learned Not to Mess with The Moa." spatchcock.substack.com/p/the-cook-t...

Your subscription to my Substack, free or paid, really truly supports me and my work. Sharing it around does too. And I’m truly grateful. jamieschler.substack.com

You never want to find yourself hiding under a naked man's bed on a hot summer afternoon. Trust me on this. spatchcock.substack.com/p/jeepers-cr...

Cheeky.

No notes

Gays and divorcées say she won't survive this.

Oscar-winning Ray's Male Heterosexual Dance Hall

My ear worm for the past 24 hours.

This is helping me start my morning.

Happy #WorldPhotographyDay . Here's a story of a restaurant in an old camera shop. spatchcock.substack.com/p/bhaji-in-a...