Alfie Allen looking at his sister Lily’s new album; “In hindsight, I got off quite lightly actually.”

Me: how could be not tell I was flirting? Also me: did you know William the Conqueror’s corpse was so bloated that his body exploded at the funeral?

Angela Rayner owes Mandelson all of the pints, just sayin’.

Thrilled to have been lead writer on this cracker of an episode with the phenomenal @beakachu.bsky.social Get it listened to the now! www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Alex and I are very please to launch our PWYW script and treatment service! Competitions can be hard to crack, reading the same script over and over can make your eyes cross, let us help! 😊 bonnieandclydeside.com/services/ @agarrickwright.bsky.social #writing #screenwriting #tv #radio

Whoever is saying White Lotus is the funniest and most interesting Jason Issac has been - clearly never seen Death of Stalin.

I've made the 300 mile trip to Edinburgh and I am DYING to talk about writing gags with @beakachu.bsky.social and @humourmill.bsky.social If you want to find out which radio show will say 'bawbag' on air, well we'll tell you. Book now! www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/writing-to...

Definitely addicted to Instagram, getting cravings to re-download the app so bad I’ve ripped the gel off my nails. 😬

It's true! If you want to learn how to write topical comedy, only we have the answers!* Guaranteed** *Not a guarantee **Cannot stress this enough, not a guarantee

Hey, comedy people of Edinburgh! Check this out! Then buy this: www.eventbrite.com/e/writing-to...

There are still tickets on sale for this fantastic workshop on topical comedy, with me and @beakachu.bsky.social, hosted by @humourmill.bsky.social If you want to break into writing gags about everything current, this is a good place to start. Book now! www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/writing-to...

People within commutable distance of Edinburgh! @agarrickwright.bsky.social and I are doing an in person workshop on topical comedy for @humourmill.bsky.social All the cool kids are writing it - join us!!

If you're interested in topical comedy, @beakachu.bsky.social and I will be leading this workshop on writing funny gags about the news and current events, courtesy of the fantastic @humourmill.bsky.social! 1500- 1700, 30th March at Monkey Barrel in Edinburgh! www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/writing-to...

Really pleased have been Lead Writer on BBC Radio Scotland's Breaking The News this week with @beakachu.bsky.social Tonnes of great gags from us, amazing patter, and the perfect thing after a long week of mental news. #comedy #news #scotland www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Hot take: this is my favourite intro music on any White Lotus series.

Gals, you don’t need lip fillers! Just regularly burn your lips on a cheese toastie like I do!

As a fan of Peep Show and Garden Centres, these emails get very confusing.

Of course the government of the man with the personality of ChatGPT didn’t sign the AI accords…

I should actually write stuff on here, I suppose…

The only reason people think they don't like pineapple on pizza is because Hawaiian pizzas are always made with cheap, shitty ham

Every time the ego of right- wing extreminsts causes their own downfall, an angel gets its wings 😇 www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/poli...

“I’m sorry you feel like Russia shot down your plane” www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Lovely way to round out the year is seeing @beakachu.bsky.social and myself in the credits of Breaking the Year. I mean, 2024 is a year that NEEDED broken. Glad we could oblige. Get it watched the now! www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

Christmas Eve! Make sure to be good- because someone is watching and you do NOT want to wind up on the naughty list! #Christmas #elf #comedy

Ruining The Holiday wondering how much the Oppenheimer Group could sell Amanda’s house for. Queue weirdly specific Selling Sunset music.

The Grinch was raised by bisexual women who had an open relationship - never forget it 💚❤️

The much-longer version of this won the Audience Choice Award at the Shetland Screenplay Festival. The locals were just glad to see hard work acknowledged. Happy Solstice @beakachu.bsky.social

Just rewatching Hot Fuzz. I know they’re already the bad guys, but the whole Neighbourhood Watch Alliance also deffo vote Tory.

True Person of the Year!

All credit to Alex for the gags we got on this week. I was too busy Christmas partying and then recovering from Christmas partying. www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Trump being Person of the Year and the Colour of the year being compared to shit isn’t a coincidence.

Gregg Wallace has an MBE!? At this point it’s more a badge of dishonour.

Looking for a handy list of UK Comedy Writers on Bluesky? As they used to say on Blue Peter "Here's one I made earlier". 📺 🎬 📻 🎤 📰 #WriterSky #Scriptwriters go.bsky.app/Vhz63Af

Less surprising than a Taylor Swift win at the Grammys.

If you’re bi, you play both back to back.

🚨🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Scotland’s cultural landscape is at risk of collapse. Ahead of the draft Budget on Weds 4 Dec, please sign the Campaign for the Arts petition to urge ministers to deliver on their arts funding pledges now. www.campaignforthearts.org/petitions/sc...

No but seriously, is this on Spotify yet? youtu.be/kHwpS0LakeU?...

Yes.

The Discovery+ series stars Jacob William Rees-Mogg, his formidable other half, Helena Anne Beatrix Wentworth Fitzwilliam de Chair and their six children. Each episode will be an hour long, as it takes 45 minutes to introduce them all. #btnrejects #btnnb

The latest flight of the Space X Starship has taken place in Texas. Elon Musk was joined by President elect, Donald Trump, which means there were at least 3 rockets present. #btnrejects #btnnb

Rafael Nadal says he would like to be remembered as "a kid who followed their dreams" - and not a ninja turtle. #btnrejects #btnnb

Starmer said he would be keen to improve on frosty UK-China relation. He said when the UK and China can come together, it can lead to great things- like salt and chili chips. #btnrejects #btnnb

Fuck aye, first time for @beakachu.bsky.social and I seeing our names under 'LEAD WRITERS' on a TV episode! First of many, I hope. Well done to the BTN team, phenomenal show.

You guys I’m a writer so I don’t have to see my face on screen!! Nice seeing my name in the credits though 😊

Lovely to lead write with @agarrickwright.bsky.social as always!! Even better to actually see it get recorded in front of a live audience for TV! Tune in tonight on BBC Scotland! www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

When they decide to split Wicked into two films and realise they need other plot points to fill in the gaps.