Before I bought this house, it belonged to my wife's parents. They had never used the fireplace since I've known them, and I have no idea when the chimney was last swept. Im in no hurry to use it, since there's a little kid around. But I've found it's nice to light a few candles in it.

Brb playing a mini campaign of D&D with someone who hasn't learned to count

As someone with pretty bad astigmatism, the one thing I would ask is to put out more blue and purple Christmas lights. Those look way more awesome when you have astigmatism

Mix all the goodies and Pour all the cookies and Lick on the back of my spatula

Merry Christmas 2025

TRAGEDY The Christmas tree lights are dead

Posted via Tusky [McMammoth] #caturday

Good King Wenceslas implies Evil King Wenceslas

#caturday loaf

Probably a cat #catsofmastodon #caturday #blackcat

I don't need coffee, I have a naked little kid in my living room, yelling like a dinosaur and brandishing a cat toy

@NickGates alone, watching indoor soccer w tacos? Eh, fine. With a buddy watching indoor soccer w tacos?! Absolutely golden, top notch experience.

Your area may have culture but does it have a sick Filipino rave in a grocery store every week like in Daly City, California? No it does not. #sfba #music #rave #supermarkets #hellyeah https://www.instagram.com/p/DRxw6cWkjqu/

One of the cool things about having a kid is that you have this cool little buddy you can take places

More quoots in more places https://friendsofdesoto.social/@NickGates/115671075400612726

On ivory you can do more? Let's find out. https://famichiki.jp/@36pickledeggs/115671006353450245

be the change you wish to see in the world. for example I am currently transmogrifying into approximately six nickels and a sacagawea dollar

Okay so I didn't actually do any financial counseling at the Folsom Branch, but I did help the staff put up their Christmas tree

That bridge.

Oh no I'm putting on a financial wellbeing seminar next week and I haven't prepared at all

This makes me think of my favorite burger ever, at the Zombie Burger Bar And Drink Lab in Des Moines. What's your favorite stereotypically American place for #food? https://beige.party/@slowbiex/115665496804600292

I've successfully gerrymandered a map of the United States such that I never have to wear pants again.

I'm gonna dip the Christmas tree in ranch dressing and eat it as a snack

Why do we never sing the verses of Jingle Bells that are about picking up chicks

I'm a jerk. Instead of just ignoring the telemarketer call, I kept the poor guy on the line and made him bomb

Paramount doesn't know what to do with Trek, because Trek is about believing in something greater than quarterly earnings reports and the Ellisons are tone-deaf to any emotion other than greed.

<tin foil hat on> I'm going with "US underground seismic test" *OR* "Aliens landed in the Nevada desert" *OR* "US testing alien spacecraft technology" 🤪 <tin foil hat off> #nvwx #earthquake

👀 M5.9 earthquake near Carson City and Reno, NV. #earthquake #nvwx

@NickGates Drunk Shimoda stacking isolinear chips is a fair representation of how I do these updates

What kind of asshole scheduled my day to give me three appointments, all back-to-back when they knew I also had a two hour training in the morning that had been on my calendar for weeks

I slacked off yesterday because I didn't look at today's schedule to see how busy I was going to be today: a tragedy in three acts

The Boy!? (My Son!!!1) is wearing a sweater worthy of Wesley Crusher today

I switched my weather app to metric and I have no idea what these numbers mean

I'm back, baby! Uhh Toot harder

Echo

@mikey view screens on the Hood are malfunctioning! I can't see outside the local timeline!

I have entered #whamhalla with The Boy

Our local dairy updated their packaging (left is old, right is new) and the 20s are just bland and boring

I'm using my Ivory app, @Alice and @dannotdaniel https://beige.party/@Alice/115647980819371778

My sister lives in #greenbay and sent this important update

what is the afternoon but the night of the morning really

Automatic Tiger Machine #davisca

Hey, @CowboyWho and @nocontexttrek on @GreatestTrek 's Priority One Messages

My wife's idea: an advent calendar where each day is a new advent calendar

Of all the music I could wake up with in my head, my brain chose Blur's Parklife