I've mentioned to multiple customers that we're sending four people to the moon in a few minutes and absolutely nobody has had any idea this was even in the works

Mitch McConnell

A customer just told me they found my store because ai (specifically gemini) recommended it. troubling

Margaret never fails to sit somewhere normal

Had this on my table all day and only one person commented on it

Sorry, what kind of lumber

I was at a baseball game yesterday and between innings they did this little thing where they have a kid describe a wacky baseball scenario and then turn in into a picture, and when the talking baseball bat cartoon said “…using the power of ai!!” the entire stadium started booing

Found a rat

Me in 2016 vs me in 2026

[woke up with what felt like an extremely profound idea in my head until i thought about it for five seconds] “the world’s biggest yin-yang is Earth”

Got outside today

If you work at the cta run kiosklauncher.sh please

Got my sign ready for tomorrow

Just got an extremely targeted scam where someone strung me along for five days coordinating details about private knitting lessons for his kids before telling me as part of this I will need to reimburse their private driver who unfortunately can only be paid via irreversible bank transfer

Why’d they call it tuberculosis and not phlegm fatale

Naomi Klein went on Ezra Klein’s podcast to discuss her book about being confused with Naomi Wolf and at no point did they discuss how they need to team up and find an Ezra Wolf to complete the quadrangle

Instead of age verification laws, children should be given a Macintosh SE preinstalled with Hypercard and THINK Pascal so they make their own games and applications. if they try to use a different type of computer before turning 18 they will be instantly electrocuted

I think a lot of problems would be solved if there was a law that LLM generated text must be in all caps

The prophecy has been fulfilled 🙏

How it started / how it’s going

I really hope pete hegseth got the same windows 11 login screen as me today

I finished my cardigan btw

When the edible hits in the middle of the art institute tour

RE: https://mastodon.social/@gutenberg_new/116265242788119253 Bring back milk contests

Every week or so someone walks into my store and says "I wrote a play about trans werewolves, can i put a flyer up" and i say "duh"

Knitting pattern samples that go hard

I could literally fly to copenhagen and back for less than what I just paid in tariffs on one order of danish yarn

I’m glad I don’t drive much because this tank of gas is going to have to last me until Pete Hegseth’s arrest and show trial

mother. it is cold

New thing i’m working on

WGN is so busted that theyre just showing a camera pointed at the AP election results website instead of making a graphic

Fascinated by the nonbinary republican election judge at my polling place

At the risk of sounding like tipper gore i think it’s bad that games where you shoot people keep getting more and more photorealistic

You know how sometimes there’s little beads of hard white stuff attached to the outside of soda cans? That’s ambergris, which can be sold to perfumers and apothecaries for a princely sum

I hope this weather holds until cubs opening day next week and the ball explodes into a million shards like T-1000 every time someone hits it

[uspol] Archaic indicators like “inflation” and “unemployment” are irrelevant now that we’re transitioning to an economy based entirely on asking chatgpt for gambling tips

I just noticed that the twinings brand earl grey is officially licensed by the most recent earl grey like it’s a lebron jersey

Directional horror

Guess who just won yarn chicken

The people who shop at my store are usually pretty chill but I had a genuinely rude and entitled customer today for the first time in a while and i’m sorry to say that her name was literally Karen

Certain congressional candidates in my district have escalated from mailers and yard signs and are now coming to my store to buy yarn and guest hosting my bastard-related podcasts

You wish you had this much goo gold

I'm glad we're turning every square foot of available land into data centers for this

I hope my shipment enjoyed its little sightseeing weekend in belgium

Another victory against the vile metric system

Thousands of people forming delusional 1-person math cults after talking to a computer simulacrum of human speech is some shit philip k dick would cross out because it’s too depressing