Just whispered “fuck” to nobody at the supermarket

Illinois is not a serious state

I still can’t totally convince myself that “boymom” and “girldad” are things straight surburbanites say and not like extremely niche genders

2006 me is feeling attacked by this

I think cia deleting the world factbook website might be my breaking point

If a youtube video has less than 100 views it should let you hop on a group chat with the other weirdos who have seen it

RE: https://mastodon.social/@gutenberg_new/116001945378701769 Smokin that shit that makes u argue warmly for the cause of Woman Suffrage

Everyone’s wearing that Melt the ICE hat!!

The continued existence of elon musk, larry ellison, bezos etc really demonstrates how underfunded the 00 agent program is these days

Look at this bug i found

I dreamed that superman got really skinny and weak and his main way of fighting was throwing nearby objects but he would always miss badly. Newspapers started writing pieces like “why we never needed superman anyway” but we do. There are so many bad guys

Is Pope Leo the only certified ai hater in a position of any power whatsoever

A customer was just telling me that she lives on a farm near Peculiar, Missouri, which i could not believe was a real place until i looked it up

Solemnly deleting nicki minaj starships from my When It Happens playlist

I watched a debate between the democratic candidates for dick durbin’s senate seat and they asked about AI and one of them said that AI should stand for Amazing Illinois

This is like evil LGBTQIA+

Untitled (mimesis), 2026

At the thrift store, anyone need an atari 2600 decanter and tumbler set

70-something women love to tell me things that would get them a secret service visit if they posted it online

Shout out to the person who booked a crochet class through my website at 4:15 am last night

[uspol] Crazy how if i sent a letter to the IRS saying that i refuse to give a penny to this terrorist regime or its rapist king until every last one of you is in prison or hell, somehow that would make ME the bad guy

Haha cool got a $545 bill on a $900 shipment from canada that was explicitly duty-free per USMCA. Thank u mr president

Learned an interesting physics lesson today which is that when the air is 30+ degrees below freezing all the passing airplanes sound like they’re about ten feet overhead

Nothing makes me feel like a cranky old asshole than when i’m watching a regular tv show and get an ad that’s filmed in that pseudo tiktok style with pop up captions and intentionally bad acting and sound

Looks like they added geopolitical news to the weather widget

Looking for a rainy day activity? Why not project the vertices of the polyhedron from Dürer's Melencolia I onto the magic square from said engraving

Happy that Michael B. Jordan was nominated but really disappointed that they snubbed his twin brother, Michael A. Jordan

I'm an ancient aliens truther but for fair isle sweaters. There's only 100 people on that island. that's like one apartment building

Odd Future was right about the future

Someone just literally ran into my store saying "i have a knitting emergency! my dog ate my needles!" like an irl quick time event

Getting into villainy

[uspol] I wonder if caligula’s horse senator had better or worse approval ratings

Etymologically, “cybernetic governor” is 100% redundant

Just learned that my father-in-law is banned from three different programming subreddits and hacker news

Attention people of denmark. I am ready to become a fifth column soldier for your cause. Please dm me orders if interested. Long live king harald or whoever

A guy just walked out of the grocery store into the -5°F wind chill and said “whooo! You gotta LOVE chicago to live here!” and then fist bumped me

1880s lesbian novelist named Amy Levy is a truly tragic born in the wrong century situation

@hannah feels like the logical inverse of

This is bad, Tails! If Dr Robotnik manages to collect all six Nobel prize medals, he’ll be able to take over Mobius!

I would die for him

One of my favorite customers just showed me that he uses a meowth keychain to mark the right side of his knitting project.. because "meowth, that's right"

[Uspol] You’re all laughing but physical possession of the nobel peace prize medal confers significant stat boosts. Why do you think kissinger lived so long

Made a little dress for the duck at my shop

Silent Hill ass cat

In 2004 i was 16, gmail was in closed beta, everyone wanted an account, and invites were really hard to find. People were paying hundreds of dollars for them. I had a blogger account i never used but i somehow ended up with a bunch of gmail invites and i found a site where people were trading […]

Taskmaster Live additional tickets sold out instantly and this is what the stubhub situation looks like.. this is the Eras tour for dorkass anglophiles

Someone with a masters degree in literal quantum mechanics asked if we're hiring new knitting teachers