Remember, there's no such thing as Monday, it was made up by a travel company in 2005. Welcome to Tuesday.

I don’t think people quite understand that the occupation by ICE in the Twin Cities has more or less erased non-white people from public life. They cannot safely exist in any space accessible to the public and moving between private places leaves folks vulnerable to kidnapping by armed masked goons.

Responding to every reply I get on here with, “It’s just a comment on society in general.”

Roll up roll up, tickets now on sale for the extravaganza of @vixleyton.bsky.social and me at Aces and Eights in Tufnell Park on Weds 21st of this here January www.eventbrite.com/e/catie-wilk...

Fuck it I don’t care anymore

Starting to feel like dualingo is trying to groom me to commit crimes

Wow

This entire weekend

Top tip: really drag out your elf “thinking” about pranks as long as possible, to save on trashing and teepeeing your own house. #toptips #elfontheshelf #onceagainiblamemymumforbringingthistomydoor

Absolutely loved this interactive performance of A Christmas Carol ! Get tickets here if you live in/near Hitchin ovo.org.uk/shows/a-chri...

When the Trads talk about how happy women were before and what feminism "took away"..

Being negged by Duolingo. Why can’t that green bird just be happy for me?

Seeing a lot of shade about elf on the shelf in my timeline this morning. This is straw man thinking. The real enemy is whoever first told your kids about elf on the shelf. Get THEM.

He literally wants to throw the crash test dummy off a roof and do jackass pranks. He also wants the fake gold to trick people. (We are excellent parents).

Cyber Monday should be like what Christmas is like on Futurama.

Yes, see these ace guys too! 🎉 📚

Ace Christmas presents for kids 🎉 📚

Come on down to this tonight 🎉with ace @vixleyton.bsky.social www.acesandeightssaloonbar.com/events/vix-l...

8yo helping the 10yo learn some lines. Everytime he reads her cue line, he goes, ‘your turn.’

Parkrun bantz

It’s giving radio hat

Creative pals, we need you! A group of us are running an auction to raise funds for the Emergency Response Rooms in Sudan. Sudanese people are dealing with the worst humanitarian crisis since records began. Can you donate mentoring/art/signed books etc? SIGN UP HERE: www.sudancoup.com/auction

Did you miss a chance to see my little face do jokes live? Despair no longer, I’m teaming up with ace @vixleyton.bsky.social and we are bringing our ace shows to London 🎉

Sad times

Can anyone recommend a good podcast for kids about greek mythology?

My son got this Riddler in his Happy Meal and thought it was ‘Irish Batman.’ We’ve really lost touch with the old ways.

Café Chaos has been selected for inclusion in BookTrust’s Great Books Guide for 2025! The guide is a wide-reaching resource aimed at teachers to recommend new books and encourage children to read for pleasure. A digital copy of the guide is available online 🎉 www.booktrust.org.uk/books-and-re...

7yo is doing 100 star jumps to ‘prove he is not tired’

What is the nutritional value of limescale? Am I getting more bang for my buck, or is it time to descale my kettle?

They liked this on instagram, so sharing my little joke here

Changed my Waze sat nav to football commentator and at the end of the journey he said it had, overall, been a great performance.

It's my publication day! Loki: A Bad God's Guide to Causing Chaos is out NOW. If you pop to your local indie you might just find a signed edition. And if you're quick? A free gift... Want a personalised edition? Go here! www.papercatbookshop.co.uk/products/lok... @walkerbooksuk.bsky.social

JFK feeling the same way about RFK Jr as the rest of us.

17 year old Jackie Mitchell struck out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig in 1931. Ruth's fee fees were hurt and threw a tantrum on how women were too delicate to play baseball. Due to his toddler like antics, women were banned from being signed in the MLB 1992.

We should all know the name Ann Burgess. Much of the techniques and methodology of modern day criminology stemmed from her: FBI Mind hunter profiling, how to interview victims, co-founding r*pe crisis centers & much more. Today, she is working on a study about missing & murdered indigenous women.

Woohoo, new book and enticing facts...

Working like a budget Bond Villain

Imagine getting bad A Level results and then on top of that being told that you could still turn out like Jeremy Clarkson.

V helpful instructional video for everyone who wants to learn the newest, hottest craze (which will possibly eclipse the Macarena?) 🤞🤞 Come on down to WE’LL SEE at Stand 2, 4.45pm until the 10th; and then get yourself down to COMEDY ARCADE, 10.15pm Gilded Balloon, with phenomenal legend Vix Leyton🎉

Hiya Bluesky. I’ve mainly been waffling on about my #edfringe show on instagram, but would you guys like to see some self-promotion too? I got a nice review and everything. I’m on at 4.45pm Stand 2 and I’d love you come join the fun 🎉 www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...

#Podcasts #Comedy #Books RHLSTP with Richard Herring RHLSTP 572 - Catie Wilkins Richard @herring1967.bsky.social is joined by the award winning author and comedian @catiewilkins.bsky.social‬. shows.acast.com/rhlstp/episo...

#magic8ball Come to my new Edinburgh show WE’LL SEE, Stand 2, 1-10 Aug, 4.45pm 🎉 #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #edinburgh #edinburghfringefestival #edfringe #wellsee #TheStand

We finished the Vic run of our #Hitchin #MostlyComedy Fest in style last night, in the company of the ace Sikisa & @catiewilkins.bsky.social. Catch them in Edinburgh. See you at the Town Hall on Friday for Stephen K Amos, @jocaulfield.bsky.social & @littlemaddles.bsky.social. www.mostlycomedy.co.uk

Anyone wondering what a cool little short version of my poster would look like? Well wonder no more! Here it is 🎉 Come see my new show, WE’LL SEE, 4.45pm, Stand 2, 31st-10th Aug. #comedy #standup #standupcomedy #edinburgh #edinburghfringefestival #edfringe #wellsee #TheStand