I WANT. TO READ.

1. In the immediate aftermath of Charlie Kirk's shooting, the WSJ laundered claims that "transgender symbols" were found with the shooter's gun. Now, a press conference reveals that NO such symbols were found. WSJ owes a full retraction and apology. Subscribe to support our journalism.

Look, I enjoy kvetching with people about airports, but quite honestly, I love flying. I love when the glove people touch my underboobs. Love walking on the little moving walkways. Love reading other people's emails over their shoulder and they can't get away. This is my home, my family.

Gay dating when you're not into astrology is like what happened to Hester Prynne, except worse.

We were going to do another big marketing stunt for THE TOXIC AVENGER UNRATED. Instead, Toxie, whose life was upended by crushing medical bills, has joined forces with Undue Medical Debt to erase at least $5 million in un-payable medical debt for those who need it most. Learn more:

Lately I keep hearing about how the most asinine things are cringe. Being earnest, posting pictures of your food, answering the phone too quickly. From the bottom of my heart, I hope you all know that the one and only thing that is ACTUALLY cringe is if you don't send me $15 on Venmo right now. ♥️

If I have to explain to you why it's a bad idea to use a machine that makes shit up 15-80% of the time AND destroys the environment AND contributes to rising fascism and genocide AND puts brilliant skillful creatives out of work by stealing their work, then we're already speaking different languages

I would rather die than create an account to continue

Our virtual Literary Thursdays series brings you live conversations with amazing writers. Learn More about our July guests: John Seabrook, @taratai.com, Kirthana Ramisetti, Sarah Chihaya, and @brittanymeansit.bsky.social! queenslibrary.org/calendar?sea...

Mosquitos don't actually drink blood. What they're feeding on is my will to live.

This pride month, I would like to remind you all of something very important: me.

Pausing my hard crying sesh for exactly 4 minutes and 47 seconds because Country Grammar (Hot Shit) came on the radio, and then immediately resuming.

Sitting at a table full of people talking about how much they hate angel hair pasta. I am silent, alone in my appreciation for swallowing a mouthful of noodles without having to chew.

One of the hardest parts of being an early riser is when something cool happens before 8 a.m. and no one is awake to tell. WAKE UP, I'M ON AN OPBRAH DAILY BOOK LIST. www.oprahdaily.com/entertainmen...

how it feels logging onto my little spreadsheet email job

A movie called Sinners is a box office hit and then the pope dies. Coincidence? 👀 Maybe not. Venmo me $5 if you believe in JESUS CHRIST.

Installation wizard, take me away from all this.

One of hundreds of people abducted by ICE and sold to slavery in El Salvador was a 19 year old with no criminal record in the US or Venezuela and no tattoos of any kind. An ICE kidnapper who grabbed him outside his house said, "He's not the one." The other said, "Take him anyway." So they did.

Video obtained by @nytimes.com confirms the IDF fired on and killed clearly identified Red Crescent medics in Gaza. 15 were killed. Satellite pics analyzed by @ckoettl.bsky.social & @sanjanamv.bsky.social show the IDF then buried the medics andambulances. Story 👇 www.nytimes.com/2025/04/04/w...

Every day I get on the world wide web and think, "Please say sike."

something undiagnosed is going on here but I can't afford to look into that rn

This Saturday, April 5 is a March on Washington for Palestine. There are buses to DC from multiple East Coast & Midwest cities. Find the nearest one to you here: marchforpalestine.org/bus

www.krqe.com/news/albuque... This is so funny to publish in the city with the second highest rate of car crimes in the country.

Is there some secret trick to finding food trucks that everyone knows except me? I've shown up to the place and time listed online so many times to find that the truck I wanted to visit just wasn't there.

Why do I ever fly? The train is amazing.

We are currently clean on OPSEC

#Doves with jobs: Home builder

Me about to ruin my date's post-nut glow: Hey, you ever see that scary picture of Shel Silverstein on the beach?

Everything sucks so severely right now, exCEPT☝️ for Severance season 2.

A proposed amendment to the New Mexico Constitution that would extend the right to vote to people held inside the walls of the state Department of Corrections passed its first legislative committee on Wednesday.

DOGE is not a govt efficiency project. Firing 1 in 4 fed employees would cut govt spending by 1%. DOGE is a political control project. Firing and terrorizing public employees is a means to weakening state regulation & strengthening a personalist presidency donmoynihan.substack.com/p/doge-misma...

The chickens when I go outside to sit and cry.

She hates a cold morning, so I carry her around like a little prince until she's ready to start her day.

I spent over two hours watching 'Emilia Pérez,' time I will never get back, so I wrote down all my thoughts about the film. Thank you as always for your support! From penis to vagina! johnpaulbrammer.substack.com/p/all-my-tho...

Used to be, when my friends complained about their men to me, I would feel furious and helpless. I have since learned to hold statements like "We had a really good talk and I'm going to give him another chance" for a moment and then let it float away like a beautiful lotus flower on the stream.

I wasn't raised Catholic, but when I discovered "And also with you," it became a crucial part of my lexicon. I don't even care that it's a mistranslation. It's too good. A perfect response for when someone says they love you but you're not quite ready to say it back yet.

I miss when songs were like *soft acoustic guitar* I hope I die on your front lawn so you think of me every time you smell Bermuda grass *drum roll outro*

hate when I die and respawn in Iowa

Step 1. Turn on the Here Comes the Rain Again remix. Step 2. Deep clean my small bathroom with bleach. Step 3. Start feeling very spiritual and sensual. Step 4. Realize I forgot to open a window for ventilation.

Ope, I forgot to share it here too. I wrote a lil story. open.substack.com/pub/brittany...

illinois is set to get $1.3 billion in overdose prevention money from lawsuits settled w/ pharmacies + drugmakers. how does the state decide where it gets spent? and who makes the decisions? community orgs + lawmakers want to know—but the state’s not answering them or @katieprout.bsky.social.