First Blues game!

*response unsolicited to LinkedIn message* Hi Amy. Not looking for a job right now but how about slapping our genitals together? Andrew He/Him

When Biden gave the worst debate performance in history, my job as a neutral reporter was to write about it incessantly until he dropped out. When Trump gave the second worst debate performance in history, against Harris, my job was to lend credence to his claim that immigrants were eating pets.

Trump's MRI raises new questions about Biden's health.

Just had an MRI. Not sure on what body part or what it was for but I am #healthy

ran into a celebrity today!

Week 13: State Farm’s cruelty knows no bounds

love these two @patrickhwillems.bsky.social

Fine, I’ll say it: The NFL games on Thanksgiving this year are too good. They’re supposed to be mid matchups that we all throw on in the background because they’re on. The Lions and Cowboys being good has violated this crucial social construct

Happy Thanksgiving from @robdelaney.bsky.social !

This is weird… I just told someone a @robdelaney.bsky.social joke and they actually laughed

I hope they let Bolsonaro keep up with his favorite hobby* while he’s in prison *getting Covid-19 (the novel coronavirus) 4x/month

I will not be responding to any Brock Purdy discourse tonight. Clearly a conduit for anti-Iowa propaganda

🦃

I had nothing to do with this!!

Trump is being nicer to Mamdani than Democratic leadership was lol

Glad I saw Wicked: For Good so I know which classic characters F-U-C-K-E-D

@kyleskey.bsky.social i see they finally banned you because of your memes

#cool #sex

First thing I always notice upon returning to Iowa is the insane amount of custom Iowa/Iowa State license plates. Guess this is how we express ourselves

Now that my time in Kansas City is done, here are my BBQ rankings 1) Slaps 2) Q39 3) Oscar Meyer Baloney from the gas station 4) some loose meat I found in an alley 5) Arthur Bryant’s

we have lost so much ground on the every expanding Christmas season

why would he (He?) write this?

back to back Europe overtime games, shoutout to whoever had to translate the preposterously complicated NFL overtime rules into German and Spanish

USC set a home football attendance record today with over FOUR HUNDRED fans

just about had it with this website. Dave Bluesky has done nothing to stop the trolls

They have a sign now because of me!

Update: 1) Fuck Coke for their AI Christmas ad shit (fuck off to infinity) 2) the “Holiday Creamy Vanilla” is okay at best

wow

I can somewhat confidently say that I’m the only man who’s about to watch Die My Love and then catch the end of the Packers game

I have bravery decided to watch the KC Current game on TV on Sunday

Crazy the 2 most important innovations of the 21st century were produced by Coca-Cola 1) Coke Zero 2) Coke Freestyle Machine

@millsypop.bsky.social @ilovemywive.bsky.social just saw @kyleskey.bsky.social holding hands with Santa Claus at Cheesecake Factory… don’t expect any presents this year 😢

Rob had sex with The Entity on the set of Mission Impossible and he’s just like this now 🤷🏻‍♂️

Normalize booing the Netflix logo at the theater

*calmly reminding myself I knew nothing about this Blue Jays team 10 days ago*

Special message to the Dodgers:

Ladies, I’m dressed as Jack Reacher… just how I’m naturally built #Halloween