I do not want to create an account or open a subscription I just want to buy a thing and never hear from you again why is this so hard.

[on a recipe page] Me, begging, tears in my eyes: Please. Please, for the love of God, please just tell me where the recipe is

, po 77+h+0 k)

I really try to keep an even keel, and self-regulate because it’s the only way to be in this for the long haul, but sometimes the fury overtakes you for a bit.

4. There is no need to make pickles default on a fried chicken sandwich. Just let me enjoy the fried chicken without that slimy, briny junk

don’t mean to complain but it’s not enough degrees outside

Great thread. It's also called "Serendipitous Searching" (at least that's what I call it).

These morons were looking at the numbers and saw that USAID had spent $ on PROPHYLAXIS (medical care aimed at preventing disease or stopping it from getting worse - something USAID does a lot of) and thought they were spending $ on PROPHYLACTICS. There is no way I will ever be convinced otherwise.

Can't they just save everyone's time and just call it 'Skynet'?!

The Santa Class movie on Hallmark Channel just made a reference to another Hallmark channel movie and my mind is blown that I never realized that I was witnessing the Hallmark Movie Cinematic Universe and I AM HERE FOR IT. I can't wait for the eventual devolution into the Hallmark multiverse!

you can be driven into homelessness by someone like brian thompson, then legally murdered by someone like daniel penny, while the money that could have saved you is spent on murdering children in gaza.

In case you didn't know, librarians are educated professionals with a master's degree and don't just willy nilly buy any old books for their libraries.

I want to go to there

Hallmark Christmas movie where she's an unhappy mid level insurance executive visiting Manhattan for a conference around the holidays, and he's a handsome rogue who she keeps mysteriously running into in odd places around the hotel. DENY DEFEND PROPOSE

Offensive pass interference is a crock. If DPI assumes the receiver would have caught it and the ball is spotted where the penalty occurred, then OPI should also assume the *defender* would have caught it and possession should change and given at the spot of the foul.

I don't care how brazen this is: if this gets 20 reposts I'll post about one of the greatest tasks of my Taskmaster series, which would be talked about today as much as the trouser theft/texting/song etc, but which was NEVER BROADCAST ON THE SHOW. Or 10, whatever. I'd probably do it for 1.

This time around, the Kennedys are assassinating us.

Hi everyone. The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars. We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website. We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off. I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.

Where are the Baltimore Ravens fans at on here?

Man: Doctor, I'm depressed. Doctor: Go see Aaron Rodgers, Jets QB. Watching him limp and fumble on the field is tragic, yet hilarious. He knows he’s past his prime, and the struggle’s almost poetic. Man: But doctor— Doctor: I know who you are.

Ben Schwartz, you're my hero.

the mainstream media now hurriedly doing stories on tariff effects and what the deportation will look like is like someone who cheated on you 7 times bringing you one flower they found on the street to assure you they've changed because they saw the divorce papers you had drawn up

There’s a lot that the democrats could have done differently. Personally I would have liked them to go far left rather than try to court moderate voters. But I get the strategy; “maybe we can give people an out if they personally find Trump gross.” But the thing is,

introducing a new fencing event called swashbuckling where matches last longer than 2 seconds and the duelists are encouraged to get up on top of furniture and swing from chandeliers n shit

Well, if the election doesn't work out, Trump could probably take over as a fact checker at the Washington Post