The older I get, the more I come to love cooking with cast iron

What’s sad is, this could be a black op or just Florida men being Florida mans

I think I’ve worked harder to get this from 20:00 to 18:00 than getting it from 30:00 to 20:00

If the USA Women’s Hockey team wants a real celebration and invite ,,, I’ll host them in Las Vegas. Do some nice dinners and shows and good times. I’m sure I can get a hotel and airline to help me out here and celebrate these women for real for real. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

Formal invitation to the hockey team sent,,, if any people with connections to the hockey team wanna have them email my team my bio. I’m for real. 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

This is brilliant

“Western New Yorkers shelter as fires erupt across Puerto Vallarta” Y’all, this is why you don’t let AI write your headlines

How dumb do you have to be to lose a strawman argument ?

You think it’s full of chips, but when you open it you’ll sadly find it’s mostly air

I always had a sneaking suspicion that the tariffs were illegal. I think maybe because that's what literally everyone said.

I might have squealed out loud at this one

Every day when I drop my daughter off at dance, I tell her “Au revoir, Shoshanna”. Have for years. She’s still got another 3-4 years before she’ll be old enough to even see that movie.

Decided to learn French on a whim

“Birds aren’t dinosaurs.” Okay. So then neither is Velociraptor. As Velociraptors are more closely related to birds than they are to T. rex. But than we also have to get rid of T. rex because they are more closely related to birds than they are to Abelisaurus. 👇👇

More of this, please. The folks in this grassroots group are heroes. Haven Watch lives by the promise, “No One Walks Alone.” Day or night, they show up. When people are released from ICE detention, volunteers meet them in the cold, disoriented, and exhausted. Beautiful and devastating all at once.

Never in a million years did I ever fathom when I resurrected the Epstein story in 2018 that it would lead to first arrest of a British Royal in four centuries. Not since King Charles I was arrested in 1647. open.substack.com/pub/jkbjourn...

It was August of 1941 when the last prisoner was held in the Tower of London. Feels like they could start using it again if an opportunity presented itself…

For the life of me I don’t understand what any director or producer thinks he brings to the screen that is worth this bullshit. There are plenty of others with his level of talent without the baggage

I keep confusing Kalshi the gambling site with Kashi the cereal and some of these posts are hilarious

Want to come over and play with my pocket super knob? 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Thanks! I needed this

I left my hot mug of coffee on the coffee pot when I left for work today so I really needed a laugh

Oh no. I finished book 7 of 8 in Dungeon Crawler Carl only to discover book 8 won’t be released until May! I now have a sad. Send cheer

I'm not qualified in fireworkology, but I assume professional fireworkologists might call this "sub-optimal"? 🧐

Tonight’s dumb napkin cartoon…

Introduced my daughter to the extreme disappointment that is Ice Ice Baby when you’re expecting Queen

Kilauea erupting again. Loving watching each new episode every few weeks www.youtube.com/live/gXKuUyK...

Texas Republicans bought my phone number from somewhere and I get dozens of texts from them. There are better ways than texting STOP to unsubscribe

Every one of these posts (and the comments) kill me

Some marketing major just got a D- for his “Watch band for virgins” project

I don’t understand accounts where their bios say “DMs open” because I don’t even want my closest friends to DM me unless it’s a serious emergency

It’s so funny to think about the fact that there’s people out there deferring every life decision to this

Roses are red, violets are gray, NO your knives can’t go in a carry-on bouquet…

The only thing I hate more than being asked to provide feedback for coworkers’ annual reviews is being asked to provide feedback on myself for mine. I never want to say anything negative about anyone else or anything positive about myself

🤣🤣🤣🤣

What's so amazing about Jim Henson as a puppeteer is that he could literally be explaining that Kermit is made out of felt and ping pong balls and yet Kermit still feels alive the whole time he's doing it

Growing up I didn’t realize those “your brain on drugs” fried egg ad campaigns were this literal

Not ALL the news is bleak

Starting to think I’m the only one that didn’t go to Epstein island

Well I’m warmed up now

How was this not a bigger news story?

Crossword clue was “music from the ‘80’s” and the answer was “oldies”

New item added to my someday presidential platform: - anyone scheduling a meeting between 11a-1p must provide lunch

I never expected @rollingstone.com to be one of the last bastions of media unafraid of speaking the truth, but I love them for it.

Tom Brady is an American former professional football quarterback who played in the National Football League for 23 seasons. He spent his first 20 seasons with the New England Patriots and was a central contributor to the franchise's dynasty from 2001 to 2019.

Crazy opinion: I’m not very familiar with Bad Bunny. I don’t speak Spanish, I mostly listen to classic rock, he’s just not my typical jam. I still think he made a great SB headliner, I don’t think every Super Bowl has to cater to my tastes, I appreciate that other Americans like him. Crazy, right?

friend of mine can't dance so he pretended he's republican and stormed out of the room before bad bunny comes on

Can’t overstate just how vast the difference is between plain and vanilla yogurt

The only thing I possibly want more than to stay up into the early morning hours finishing this book is sleep. Fml

@carrot-app.bsky.social with another forecast gem