Look at that man’s face. Face of a wizard. Eat shit Gandalf.

happy trans day of visibility

Clocks aren’t as patient as they used to be.

every tackle in a football game is a meet cute

The Supreme Court is basically a Pepperoni Court with green peppers, onions, and mushrooms.

if a man is under 6’5” he should enlist in a nunnery

In this addition to MLM’s Clean Week of episodes, listen as James and I play real fast and loose w what smut even is!

😁🗼🩸🚔

LP, LP, ➜, LK, HP. I went back redid my Homer Akuma. This time with synched mouth and tweaks.

It's wild we used to have a president named Lyndon Blow Job.

I didn’t see the poster when we recorded the Explanation Required… I have more questions

Lisa Frank Halloween poster (c. 1980s)

Think I just talked a heart-broken veteran out of killing themself; working in a smoke shop again is weird.

In 2005, Archie Comics sent me a cease and desist letter because of this image. No joke.

Listening to this movie explained gave me a small mental breakdown, & now you can listen to that!

I tell ya, it's getting dangerous out there. They're punishing comedians just for telling jokes. So I tell my wife, I'm not suicidal. If I die, it's because someone killed me. She turns to me and says, don't worry, honey, I'll be the first to know!

just disobey lmao they aint ur mom

“Keep your friends thicc and your blood thiccer” -noted character actor James Gleason

New episode of "Explanation Required"! This month, I explain 1988's haunted house comedy, #Spellcaster, to comedian / podcaster @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social! It's a wild movie that demands an explanation, even while actively watching it! Subscribe now to listen: www.patreon.com/posts/explan...

SHE FONZIE’D OPEN A LOCKER & THERE WAS A SKULL INSIDE AND THE SKULL WAS SMOKING A CIGAR… NO I WILL NOT STOP YELLING AT YOUR CHILD’S KINDERGARTEN GRADUATION

New STPW! This week @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social & I discuss ARM BREAKING MACHINES in #LuchaUnderground, plus Beliebers, Martian Manhunter, the Summer Fest, poor diction, A Thousand Little Deaths, Super Smash taunts, & more! #ProWrestling Avail. where podcasts are: youtu.be/TNYlfW7_dME

NEW Citizens of Townsville Z! @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social of SWEATY TIME PRO WRESTLING joins me to discuss ARTIST RENDITIONS in #PowerpuffGirls Z, plus Robo Trippin', butt chuggin', manga assistants, Primus, The Land Before Time, & more! Subscribe now to listen: www.patreon.com/posts/citize...

Clip from the newest “Sweaty Time Pro Wrestling”! We get toxic about love while discussing Lucha Underground. Avail. where podcasts are found, link in bio! #wwe #prowrestling #luchalibre #LuchaUnderground

New STPW! This week @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social & I watch along to ULTIMA LUCHA TRES (part 3) in #LuchaUnderground and have a blast! #ProWrestling Avail. where podcasts are: youtu.be/_kWX2Je2lEA

Late for work’s a small price to see your bus driver stop & open the door to encourage a child learning to ride a bike. Coincidentally I’ve been fired.

“The things you don’t know about urine would astound you.” -random art gallery owner. Y’all should walk into more random art galleries.

they should invent a toilet that puts the poop into your butt

movie’s like a mix of Disney channel live action sitcom and a Tarantino movie & is good

New STPW! This week @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social & I discuss BIKER BRAWLS in #LuchaUnderground, plus JCW crossovers, abs, shojo #manga, Megan Beth Koester's "Tertium Non Datur", Son of Havoc's greatest, Dancing Bear, & more! #ProWrestling Avail. where podcasts are: youtu.be/1ziaSbHSdZ0

New STPW! This week @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social & I discuss SLIMY AGENTS in #LuchaUnderground, plus getting raptured, scoring a divorce, mask matches, magical belts, Vampiro's teachings, truth in character, rebelling, & more! #ProWrestling Avail. where podcasts are: youtu.be/WTIic5z7wYo

New STPW! This week @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social & I discuss FAMILY REVEALS in #LuchaUnderground, plus U2, #DextersLaboratory, deathmatch wrestling, Penta's swing training, & more! #ProWrestling Avail. where podcasts are: youtu.be/e5jdy_XyZE8

note: i say "thought/thinking" too many times when I meant to say "work," in regards to "critical inner work" and therapy

New STPW! This week @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social & I discuss RABBIT FEET in #LuchaUnderground, plus hazing, #GLOW Magazine, indoor kids, wrestling #SuperSentai, adoptions, 2004's "Freshman Orientation", hallucinogens, old souls, & more! #ProWrestling Avail. where podcasts are: youtu.be/xi7aPxHEIG4

Explain this, flat-Earthers.

I will always have a special space in my heart for a dynamic chaos couple who bulldoze nazis into volcanoes on their lazy afternoons Subtext is for cowards, be like Sam & Max

when she says “hold on, my nips keep slippin’ out” & I already got my bow tie tied and am chilling

2nd yoga class; yeah I take yoga classes now big whoop wanna stretch about it?

NEW PODCAST! It's "Literary Speedrun", where my guests have 75 min. to get as many endings in a CYOA book! This week, @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social braves blackholes, warring planets, his own thoughts, & dinosaurs in 1980's "Space and Beyond"! Subscribe now to listen: www.patreon.com/posts/litera...

New "Straight to Patreon" is out! StP vets, @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social & Pearl joined us to discuss 1977's cinema perfection, "House"! We love it and we think you will, too! It's a psychedelic, colorful dream that turns into a nightmare. Subscribe now to listen: www.patreon.com/posts/straig...

New STPW! This week @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social & I discuss ALL NIGHTERS in #LuchaUnderground, plus "A Mazing Matches", our love for Willie Mack, medical fake outs, Rocky v Drago, Stone Cold opinions, & more! & more! #ProWrestling Avail. where podcasts are: youtu.be/Lb_3-U1FW5E

It's PISSMAS!!! @goosevonkaiser.bsky.social & TorchyBerry join us to discuss SLUG SANTA in #KamenRider: Skyrider, plus ALgorithms, RUSH, neon signs, mulch pilled, gunked up belts, come vs cum, Chuck E. Cheese kids, & more! #SuperSentai Avail. where podcasts are found: youtu.be/pQxDIE2AsPU

I really didn’t care for The Greasy Strangler

Got friendly heated over drinks w my mom tn (I was bullying her into loving herself). She asked if I loved myself, I said I do. There’s some things I wish I had, some things I wish I did different, but I love who I am, and that’s who she raised. So if she loves me, she has to love herself. Logic.

“marvin gaye’s clueless ass”