Remember, every day is filled with the promise and possibility that it will be his last day on Earth.

Trump: “Here’s where democracy was beaten to death with a Sharpie.”

“I’m not worried - Republicans said the death ray is a hoax.”

Bluesky: where you express angst and 204 people post support. Twitter: where people yell into the abyss and it claps back with 32 likes and 3 death threats.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross nailed the cycle of grief, of both us and politics. Unfortunately, we Democrats are stuck on the anger stage.

Death match Octopus : [with a gun in each hand] Cat: “You’re one short buddy.”

Melania has learned the difference between marriage and death is that when you're dead you don't wish you were married.

My epitaph Death Is just 1 more Thing to Cross off My to-do list.

Reagan truly was the last Republican smiling face of death.

This is the house of that guy you’re arguing with in the comments.

During high school I dated a Venezuelan who father was a diplomat in what used to be their embassy. Just before he introduced me to his parents, he whispered in my ear, “my mom‘s cool but my father hates Americans.” Nothing spices up a teenage romance like being the avatar of imperial decline.

MTG accidentally stumbling onto class warfare like it’s a rake in a cartoon.

They’re already in trouble

Indeed: a process that is morally, ethically implemented makes it close to an epistemic certainty that the outcome will have the same worth

“Remove one guy, keep the system, declare victory, act offended when questioned.” Rubio knows this is all going to unspool.

🔥The proportion of female officers in the Armed Forces of Ukraine has sharply increased. 😈Russia is doomed.

Reasons I Wouldn’t Survive an Apocalypse: 1. My survival plan relies heavily on electricity. 2. I would keep saying, “This feels illegal.” 3.I can’t tell which mushrooms are food and which are a fun way to meet my ancestors. 4.I’d die doing something noble and unnecessary.

MY NEXT SONG IS, “I CAN’T RELEASE THE TRUMP-EPSTEIN FILES BECAUSE OF THE WAR IN VENEZUELA!”

How should America's occupying forces govern Venezuela? We asked four unvaccinated MAHA moms at an Amway party in Jacksonville.

finally, we're living through precedented times

Operation Absolute Resolve, seen here resolving absolutely nothing.

Venezuela under Rubio will be Florida with more medals and fewer facts.

Why would anyone in their right minds move here from Denmark or Switzerland? For this ⬇️ kind of life?

Good morning Bluesky, and remember, every day is filled with the promise and possibility that it will be his last day on Earth.

I’m not wearing anything right now, unless you consider the crushing weight of existential dread to be an article of clothing.

I stopped going to church when I realized God already knows where I am.

BREAKING: White House Releases New Map of Venezuela

When the banner goes up but the consequences stay on tour for 20 years.

Even Venezuelans who despise Maduro do not want a foreign power running their country.

It’s very exciting to be here at the start of a cautionary tale.

Venezuela’s new leader? Don’t worry - Trump has a concept.

This is foreign policy dressed up as criminal law.

It’s not about drugs. If it was, Trump wouldn’t have pardoned one of the largest narco traffickers in the world last month. It’s about oil and regime change. And they need a trial now to pretend that it isn’t. Especially to distract from his sinking under Epstein and skyrocketing healthcare costs.

The Monroe Doctrine walked so the Donroe Document could forget where it parked the car.

The candidate with the loudest and most forceful objections to Trump’s clearly illegal actions will get my vote in 2028.

Peace President. Very peaceful. Just ask Syria. Or Yemen. Or Somalia. Or Venezuela. Actually don’t, they’re busy.

We may have a candidate for “Who To Invade Next.”

Initial reax… Militarily, a brilliant operation. Diplomatically, another illustration we can’t be trusted. Legally, no possible justification.

Bad news: he’s still here. Good news: so is gravity, aging, and the internet.

Dream sequence: everyone claps, Fred is proud of him, the polls are up, and Melania doesn’t disappear at bedtime.

That’s not a tan - That’s an oil change.

I for one support Trump's right to take too much aspirin any time he wants to. I'll personally buy him a whole Costco sized bottle if he promises to take as many as he feels like against doctors' advice.

Sleepy Donald "blinking" is like whoring Melania "caring." It never happened.

If you’re taking the Montreal Cognitive Assessment test that often it’s not proof of genius - it’s a monitoring plan.

Everyone relax. The military assures us Plan B(attery Removed) is active. He can press the button all day long but nothing’s plugged in. ☢️🛋️

The slogan “Peace President” will need a brand refreshment.

Trump will try spinning this as a law enforcement action.