Explaining to an American why a senseless, murderous war in the Middle East is a bad idea: imagine gas cost more

daylight savings time be like 💤 💤 💤 💤 💤 💤 🛌

Wendy's is selling 50 nuggets for $17 and nobody told me?

Holy shit driving a car feels so wrong and terrible now.

I'm a good Christian woman who just wants to date a nice heterosexual woman but somehow all of the women I keep falling for are GODDAMN LESBIANS.

Playing slay the spire w the cule and every map is just covered in loss doodles. I'm not even the one doing it!!

It looks like Tesla is once again using parking garages to stash inventory. There are some 100,000 inventory cars worldwide. 99,998 after today.

Working on beating Jokerless and uhhhh this game is kinda bullshit isn’t it

Chaser Obama trying to convince a tboy to get a safe binder rather than using duct tape but also not get bottom surgery: "gotta have ribs! And pussy too!"

Please dear God I need to get attacked by a pack of trans women tn

My body is a machine that turns the McDonald's $6 value meal into large vehicles being driven.

I do not believe that more than 2 out of every 5 Americans own an e-bike

Once again accepted to grad school, this time with in state tuition!!

God what a fucking country. Jesus Christ.

My gf told me last night that dating me was very special and unique and a privilege but fucking me was not, and I've never been so gutted except that one time I got my organs rearranged by a stranger

“It’s the end of the city. Toronto sucks.” “This is the beginning of a quiet decent neighbourhood in our city being destroyed simply because it’s on the new subway line.” Totally normal reaction to a six-unit, three-storey residence being built near transit.

“Uhhh is Cuba telling the truth or Marco Rubio I can’t tell” You should probably redacted yourself in the head

I get hired and immediately the nation feels the consequences

The City of Evanston is having a naming contest for its brand new Bike Lane Sweeper. Bluesky community, I expect great things: arts.formstack.com/forms/bike_l...

These fucking rich ass faggots at the gay bar keep paying to cue their songs ahead of mine. I cued songs at midnight and they still have not played

Got paid 8hrs for my 5hr day, two hours of which was sitting around, let's go gamers

I'm such a faggot. My manager needed my badge number and asked me to show him my shoulder and I did it in the gayest possible way, I don't even know how to describe it but it was faggy as hell

*cries in chicago*

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

5:30-4am shift yesterday pls kill me

unattended puppygirls will be clicker trained and given new problematic kinks

"Does this sad boy in a chair look familiar?? Then you're the demographic for our sfudy!!"

Some of y'all are slacking on sending me a certain adamnthekilla video that's all imma say

Trans people for the past decade: This isn't actually about sports or ensuing there's appropriate screening before someone starts medically transitioning. The goal is to effectively criminalize the existence of all trans people. Very Reasonable Journalists: You're crazy

Flopped straight vs backdoor flush who's winning (I beat my girlfriend on some absolute bullshit)

You should not be working on the railroad all the live-long day, nor should you be working on the railroad just to pass the time away. You should be working on the railroad for the duration of a reasonable shift, for fair wages.

Standing next to the bar getting a very passionate blowjob but I have no erogenous sensation there so I was just having full conversations with people around me and occasionally directing people to not bowl over my girlfriend as they walked around us

Huh.

what is this, a cheval for ants?

Adammthekilla be like "send this to soandso" and we're all like yes sir 🫡🫡🫡🫡 on it 🫡🫡🫡

Beating the shit out of a girl until she's a whimpering little puddle and then asking her "what's wrong??? Why are you whining? The Dow is over 50,000."

[horseshoe theory image] If you get pretty enough you get to kick the dogs again

The Sinners movie night at my friend's church has been cancelled due to ash Wednesday

New from me: @govpritzker.illinois.gov will use his State of the State address to push a sweeping housing plan that’d permit multi-unit buildings on most residential lots, legalize granny flats and slash red tape that’s slowed homebuilding in recent years. capitolnewsillinois.com/news/pritzke...

Just had to veto my girlfriend's idea for a kirsti noem snuff pet play scene

instead of spending this municipal grant on something safe and boring like light rail, we’d like to form an exploratory commission to research the feasibility of Passenger Catapults

It's a crime that the foster bus isn't 24/7.

Hot new idea for any messenging apps: meta read receipts. Curious if the person you're texting has seen your read receipt? Curious if they've seen the read receipt showing you viewed their read receipt? Etc. Introducing, meta read receipts.

Suburban buses should have infrared front-facing strobes to trigger traffic signal pre-emption like emergency vehicles do. Every second an every-20-minutes (or worse) bus has to wait for a red light is a total waste of time and resources.

cannot believe im saying this but we must get everyone on reddit immediately

> get split shift till 5pm today "Ok that's not so bad I can still make it to tea" > Get 3:45am clockin tomorrow "Ahhhhhh fuck guess I'm not sleeping"

Mom come pick me up the vent channel is trying to define the boundaries between nebulous and overlapping terms.

Union workers solved the trolley problem, you're welcome

hb2 part 2 is happening and is much worse, and thanks to liberal squishes being stupid about women's sports anti-trans sentiments have never been higher among people who would have considered this stuff an anathema back then

Hehehe passed my big work test today