should've had Muse do the soundtrack for The Odyssey

no hell hot enough

everyone's drawing Jimothy and it's making me feel like maybe I should...draw Jimothy?

May Jimothy end what Harambe began

common New Jersey W

zoom

Christopher Nolan's 2026 Odyssey honestly not what I'd expect from a bigshot director but it's a solid choice

*me and my crew rolling up in a trojan horse but instead of popping out in the night to surprise you we pilot the horse like a gundam*

Archimedes leaping up from his bathtub because he thought of a good post

when all you've got is one pot everything looks like a one-pot dinner

(smugly) oh no my mentions

bluesky switched the position of the quotes and reposts and it's fucking me up

Hand drawn Jimothy tshirt? Sure what the heck bretthamil.threadless.com/designs/jimo...

Intellectually I know that The Hague is a real place and things other than The International Criminal Court exist there. I was still not prepared to read the sentence: “Shrek Rave Is Coming To The Hague!”

whenever my mom comments on one of my neurotic habits

Reminder that if your response to “this thing happened and it sucks” is “AND YOU’RE SURPRISED BY IT????” it should be legal for me to come to your workplace and microwave fish in the break room

And, as I worried they might do, SU fired, er, I mean didn't renew the contract of the adjunct faculty who uploaded this video. The provost is still employed. Read about the whole thing here: www.insidehighered.com/news/faculty...

Christopher Nolan's 2026 Odyssey honestly not what I'd expect from a bigshot director but it's a solid choice

Based on the replies, I think some men have misunderstood the objections to "not all men". When a woman is sharing her experience of being harmed by men? wrong time to say not all men. When a man says "actually all men want to do rape"? That is a GREAT time to say, "fuck you, NOT all men"

ominous Latin chorus but it's just muscle names

(seductively) let me go slip into something more comfortable *10 minutes later I emerge covered head to toe in these*

i love it when brands try to sell things to me on the basis of my zodiac sign bc it's always like heyyyyy virgo, have we got a lipstick for you! the shade is 'severe beige'

i know this all sounds pretty bad but the brass are confident the hole will eventually save us if we dump enough money in. not positive how yet but the hole whispers its encouragement

When I was a kid it was called the Liotta Ray

not the Gabagun

not to brag but i've been "going to exercise tomorrow" for 500 days straight now

I know it might appear to critics that I'm "sitting around doing nothing" and "wasting my life", but what you don't realize is that I've been holding the Y button this entire time and I'm about to unleash a charged attack the likes of which the world has never seen

if you're a morning person i bet this shit slaps so hard. happy for you but don't ever speak to me again

I know y'all have feelings about daylight saving time but as a very much not morning person living on the eastern edge of a huge fuckass timezone with no DST, I gotta say...I miss it

All of the incessant whining we have seen over the last handful of years that if the left doesn't have manly men who like trucks and oyster fishing as role models for boys then they will naturally flock to the right has neglected to ask one thing and it is this: what the fuck are you talking about?

anyway I'm in China rn, what do I know. can't drink the tap water, but I am enjoying my lettuce

"well of course AYE would never eat at Taco Bell, lol, lmao" wow bully for you Brennifer, do you want a sticker? a bougie little sticker?

Taylor Farms grows lettuce in Salinas and Yuma. They also buy from other farms and process produce all over, incl Mexico & Europe. They've caused multiple outbreaks and sell under a variety of brands/labels to consumers and restaurants/food service. They're about a third of entire US salad market.

Happy #WorldSnakeDay! Garter snakes are good swimmers

everyone knows I shouldn't have McDonald's for dinner twice in one week. what this skeet presupposes is: maybe I should

I really ought to buy some plane tickets today but I'd rather do something more fun and relaxing, like slamming my hand in a car door repeatedly

And if you want a third opinion, I'll tell you that they're healing, soothing, and sexy.

Garffeld Pt 5

How I'm embracing the millionaire tax.

in lieu of future career or personal plans i've decided to start growing moss on my body

might go to the grocery store today and just go wild. veggies, fruits, protein. maybe some grains. all sorts of crazy shit

Happy anniversary of that time the post office asked me to provide evidence that my package was not delivered.

Bryan Johnson:

wow, who could have foreseen that a quest to extend one's lifespan indefinitely in defiance of all nature's laws would potentially backfire. if only there'd ever been a single story about such a thing

me, constantly:

the most brutally sarcastic thank you cards i've ever seen

nominative determinism strikes again

loved him in The Two Towers