In Derby for a wedding tomorrow. Had time to spare tonight. His name was Tomáš, he was 24, and I’m still not sitting comfortably 30 minutes later. Anyway, full-length hotel mirrors mean you get to see my fucked arse. Have at it, lads.

Call me a prude if you want to, but I do think it's really weird to use your conference speech to list your favourite wanking euphemisms

Veeting up the sack and taint against potential adventures on Wednesday.

"He told me to bring him off. I carried on. He asked me to bring him off. I carried on. He begged me to bring him off. I carried on." STUNNINGLY hot post on the power of #submission from this time last year by @jamiebear.uk 😍 www.girlonthenet.com/blog/proud-sub/

Now's a good time to join my Patreon because I accidentally put TWO new pieces of #AudioPorn live instead of one. Also, use code WANKER at checkout for money off an annual sub. I set that up out of pure childish glee that it would let me. patreon.com/girlonthenet

I was too young to be having these thoughts at the time, obviously, but now I would quite like 1982 Stephan Remmler to bend me in half and have me over a table.

'are u a top or a bottom' im a SLUT

--> @bearbehind.bsky.social

Secondary hair tidied, trimmed, plucked, shaved and/or Naired according to location ready for tomorrow’s adventures.

My birthday present to myself, as nothing says “50 year old cockwhore” like a harness.

IYKYK

I am 50 today. Send nudes.

Hot deals! Sponsor shoutouts! Sidebar stories about a type of whip that someone used on me at my first ever kink club when I was 19! NEW blog for #MasturbationMonth www.girlonthenet.com/blog/masturb... ft @lovense-official.bsky.social @pgshop.bsky.social @literotica.com @sextechguide.com + more

Oh god, THIS. It took me *ages* to learn how to do dirty talk well, yet it is as simple as GotN says (this article is from 4 years ago and *really* helped).

I'm on holiday with my mum in Edinburgh, and took her through New Calton Hill cemetery as a shortcut knowing it was a meatmarket at night but not realising it is also a meatmarket during the day.

In a recent savage.love, @dansavage.bsky.social said that guys wish we could fake orgasms. I responded on the members-only Struggle Session (which you should all subscribe to).

I was weirdly squiky about sex toys in a "ha ha Carry On movie" way until I stumbled across GotN's site a decade ago. Her sheer joy at finding great toys led me to ditch the mental nonsense and do the same. I remain insanely grateful, so read this piece on the joy of eggs. Yes, even my gay brothers.

Third morning of putting soothing gel "up". Starting to feel a bit less chafed. God but he was big.

About 25 years ago. Gosh I was pretty. I would.

Just as confused as you

Explaining how my day went to my husband who is in That London today.

Bathhouse went very well. Got fucked 3 times, starting with a guy who was HUGE. I really thought I wouldn't get anywhere and told him so. Oh ye of little faith. In it went and it was marvellous. I shouted the house down (I really can't help it) and was amused to find half a dozen guys stood outside

Three loads up, three loads down.

The “night before the bathhouse” routine of leaving enough hair to say “look out, butch bear coming” but also removing enough hair to say “I’m sir’s subby little bitch, ruin me”.

Off to the Gentlemen's Establishment in New Brighton tomorrow, so today has been gym, psyllium husk and a non-dairy protein shake. Grim, but worth it as I hope to get my arse plundered.

New blog. In light of heartbreaking news that @mollysdailykiss.bsky.social is having to end #SinfulSunday, I wanted to explain why sex content is not dirty or wrong or shameful, it is *valuable*. What we do is good, actually! www.girlonthenet.com/blog/goodbye...

NEW BLOG: restrained morning #BlowJobs, struggle-fucking, and other hot things I wanna do with this restraints kit. www.girlonthenet.com/blog/everyth... This post is essentially me ✨ manifesting✨ a guy I can ruin in the bedroom. BIG THANKS (and sorry) to @pgshop.bsky.social #bondage #kink

New Savage Love! Dan's monthly Quickies column has everything: geolocating clits, prepping butts, talking dirty, playing well with others, JO buds, bad vibes, duct tape, mud pits, and absolutely everything Dan knows about tantric sex — all in one column! savage.love/savagelove/2...

Smell. (I don't *think* that counts as physical, does it?) The right smell of a guy can make me go weak at the knees, as I said here:

Don't know what I dreamed about last night, but I woke up really horny and in real, desperate need of getting my arse spanked/caned. Oh god, I'm going to have to download Recon again, aren't I?

have been laughing uncontrollably at this image for the last day

#weddie 🤵👰💍💒

Just a picture of a policeman rescuing a baby Harbour porpoise.

NEW BLOG: this one is about a man with whom I am definitely - DEFINITELY - not going to have sex. www.girlonthenet.com/blog/not-goi... It deserves shares, if only for the girlfriend who absolutely bodied me in the final line. THANKS ❤️

And that's it. My little Mastodon instance, tbs.social, is gone, thanks to the Online Safety Act 2023. I had literally no way to comply with the (highly contradictory) 'advice' given by the UK government or Ofcom on how to age gate it. £18 MILLION fine for getting it wrong. It was only a bit of fun.

The UK’s Online Safety Act could kill independent adult sites—and accessibility along with them sextechguide.com/safety/regul... #sextech #osa #ukosa #privacy #accessibility #regulations #UK

Local Teen Invents Masturbation Shane O'Donnell might seem like an ordinary teenager. But after countless hours of research and experimentation, what he's discovered is anything but ordinary.

Who’s up for a heist?

Away the lads.

The lighting and full length mirrors in this apartment are v good.

Back from the bathhouse. Got my dick sucked, sucked dicks, got my arse played with but no fucking alas. Still, score ++ for Jamie this week.

Today I broke an #accessibility feature on my site, and turned off #audio for UK users. Everyone else can listen as usual. UK users cannot. You can still read the text. But you can't hear the #accessible version. This is the Online Safety Act: www.girlonthenet.com/osa/ Pls share

Disappointing bathhouse visit a few weeks ago killed my libido. Now I've got three really busy weeks ahead and I've got the raging horn but no chance to do anything about it. Grrr.

Oh good god, I didn't realise this was A Thing that guys are doing now. Had it happen a couple of times in the last couple of years, with me leaving with nothing to show for it but jaw ache, the selfish gits. The load in my mouth is my reward for my hard work and years of practice, you bastards.

Sauna was a desert. One top in the whole place. Managed to get him in a backroom. Dick was short and *really* wide. It was going to be a challenge. And then because I have mad skillz that are also a curse, I brought him off with my mouth to the surprise of both of us. Drat. Double drat.

Nipples, pubes and balls ‘scaped and an overnight plug put in, so I’m definitely on for the bathhouse tomorrow.

i would apologise but i wouldn't mean it

Took my sparkly gold nail polish off in order to present a bit more butch at the bathhouse tomorrow. I'm aware of just how ludicrous this is.

New tattoo.

I reckon I'm off to the bathhouse in New Brighton on Friday. Need to get some bum action.