Times must be hard for this epic bellend. #nufc

Given how we have played this season that's a canny point. Get pope fit as soon as possible, because this Rambo run cannot continue. Miley will push Joe out the side soon enough. #nufc

Losing one nil and seeing our fans singing along to sweet Caroline. Horrific. #nufc

The NHS should look into the power of listening to eScousers whining on about Salah. It's a hell of a drug. Apparently agents are to blame, must be the first time. #nufc

Watching that awful player Broja yesterday made me remember what a scam certain clubs have on selling players. Nunez has already failed in Saudi. Neither player should have gone for more than 5m. #nufc

watching Ramsdale in goal has aged me years in a few weeks. No confidence in him whatsoever, but a decent win all in all. Should have been 2-2 with the last header. #nufc

Looks like good news re AFCON, unless my eyes are fully knackered. #nufc

It was worth keeping Gordon just for this. #nufc

CL is a weird competition now, so many tomato can teams and feels inessential for ages. Enjoyed last night especially for the parabolic header, the crap TV going on the blink, and the PA going full "are you being served" for his ridiculous Brewno-oh. Also Selton sanchez looked mint #nufc

Benfica fans at full time. Pre-retirement Mourinho going through the motions. #nufc

I hope the club makes up for the massive oversight of no minute silence for Willie McFaul. He gave 26 years to the club, he was well-liked. It was a good day for the team but the club let us all down. #nufc

That ground has all the intensity of Gateshead leisure centre football after a massive dinner. #nufc

In fairness to the police, frail pensioners with disabilities are far easier to arrest

Canny day overall.

Every goal a total banger, Lloyd Kelly scoring, Thuram brothers both scoring. Absolutely insane. youtu.be/P6DxaqFWPtU?...

This auld fella, toasting the first win of the season in Leazes park. Class. #nufc

No way that Mosquera lad for Wolves is a footballer. He's got to be a ringer, someone's cousin. Got away with a ridiculous elbow chock block, berated Barnes, then spent 5 mins on the deck either feigning injury or desperate to be subbed. Soft as clarts. #nufc

3pm Saturday kickoff, a rarity and has to be treasured. Class manager and plenty to talk about, hopefully sneak a win today. Jhon Arias is a mint player, wolves definitely not the dross of Leeds. #nufc

Only thing I take away from that is that Miley was very tidy again, in poor conditions. Elanga's technique and confidence needs some work. Poor game, terrible conditions. #nufc

He has a very unique set of skills. He can go one on one but also keep the ball against two defenders when he receives the ball with the goal at his back. He might need some time to adapt to the premier league but he is a wonderful player. Congrats to Newcastle for signing him. 👍🏼

The last time I was as excited about an unexpected signing, it was Ginola. Couldn't wait to tell my dad how mint David was in the CL with Weah. This is the same, 30 years on. Dad has had his ears chewed off. #nufc

After that absolutely brilliant performance against the scousers, today has hit like crack. Howe deserves the big games and he deserves another huge talent to develop. I had lost faith in the top level recruitment, and I was wrong. #nufc

I love that this takes the "Howe only plays giants" narrative and raises it. #nufc

Left my phone for 90 mins and suddenly Woltemade. Exceptional talent, unicorn player, not seen anything like this kid before. If they pair him with the snake, or more likely another goal scorer, this is a brilliant move. #nufc

hearing the way Kenny Dogleash behaved at SJP last night makes me despise him even more. Loathesome man. #nufc

Absolutely incredible collective performance. It usually ends this way, we've seen it so many times. Nothing comes easy for NUFC, but no victim mentality, great game and brilliant management by Howe. #nufc

Season 38, this time with crutches. Howay the lads #nufc

If isak is here after the deadline we're going to have to send gazza in with a chicken and a fishing rod. #nufc

Interesting post hoc modification of events. Another lever being pulled together with agents, and increasingly desperate. Obviously confirms he will never play for the club again though. #nufc

Really good performance against a good side. Tonali superb first half. The media will pretend Isak would have made the difference, but the minging Isak of late last season wouldn't have. Plenty room for optimism. #nufc

Semenyo really taking this out on Klanfield #nufc

If the scousers keep on selling dross youth teamers for huge money, just add it on the Isak tab. 175m now. #nufc

Bad news for any walls near wembley.

This really cheered me up.

Does feel like Leipzig stitched nufc up here (a bit). Tell Isak's parasite agent the fee just went up by 20m. #nufc

Shelbourne’s 16 year- old defender Raymond Offor playing for Newcastle United U21s at South Shields today. On trial, rated highly.

This halftime entertainment has a Newcastle postcode? #nufc

If the Falklands ever breaks out again, Bruno will be first there. #nufc

Cracking goal that like. #nufc

For some reason I forgot Pedro leaving to those lot was also a British record fee. Not a buying club though. #nufc

NUFC porn

Just the idea of someone decent back in the 9 is a great feeling. Would be even better if the number was in a black rectangle, but we can't have everything. #nufc

That Slovenian paper is getting some serious traffic from the true North. It better not be a part of Reach. #nufc

@david-ornstein.bsky.social @fabriziorom.bsky.social what's the crack for next week lads? Considering possibly entertaining a bid, maybe, if they're asked nicely? Can't wait for the next thrilling installment in your monetised and breathless client journalism.

What a vile individual. This is low even for him. You don’t use recognising Palestine - or anywhere else - as a *threat* to another country. You either have a sincere conviction that statehood is valid and deserved or you don’t. Unless of course you are a hollow vessel with no convictions at all.

"inspired by the Tyne bridge" is just inviting derision. The club is not operating on all cylinders at the moment. #nufc

Ramsdale would be a similar situation to Targett. Bring him in, fine, but don't agree any obligation, has to be a rental, despite the obvious desperation. #nufc

If true that sesko really favours Man U over Newcastle, this has to be the greatest red flag over an already suspect player. That kind of lack of competitive desire is either bad guidance or stupidity. #nufc

That OG was a perfect symbol for the preseason. #nufc

Is it because they're running out of things for their soldiers to take potshots at?